JOEHARDCORE.NET

PART TWO.. Starting off with Cuz Joe of Black N Blue

2008-12-31T16:00:00.000-08:00

Part TWO shall illuminate work done by esteemed members of the hardcore community and show in turn what people can do when they put real work and core ethics to what they do.
If this is the first entry you've read-please refer back to past entries to catch on the ongoing discussion/interview series..

As this interview series continues to grow, I find myself looking for the people who are out there doing. They're out there pushing and making what we do/love/live all it can be. They've incorporated or acquired skills to help facilitate the progress in their efforts and the dividends are shared by the entire community. These "Part Two" people often sacrifice countless hours, dollars and endure stress and ungodly headaches to create what we enjoy.

To talk about hardcore and its past and roots to overlook the importance of NYC and the aesthetic of the Great NYHC shows would be a grievous error. I am very pleased to have Cuz Joe who has taken an annual event that has its own deep roots and importance out of its grave and made it to something better then what it was in the past. The Superbowl of Hardcore featured the best and brightest of the NYHC scene. After a decade and change, it shifted down to D.C. and fell out of its glory. Cuz Joe and Black N Blue Productions really took it back to its glory days with amazing lineups and implimented an innovative as well as creative promotion plan and incorporated sponsors and an overall vibe that has lead to a rebirth of the NYC scene.
Black N Blue Productions has the touch of the old school family mentality with the great looking glossy promotion and an ever widening grasp on the NYC hardcore scene. They strive to bring the real hardcore show vibe to the masses and bring the light back onto their hometown. No barricade, no dickhead bouncers and zero tolerance on fighting at their shows is just a portion of their efforts to improve the shows and the scene in NY.
So without further interruption, here he is Cousin Joe...

When you started off doing the Black and Blue shows, did you do them because you felt like you were filling a void or serving your scene? Was there others around you at the time to give you a hand or were your lessons learned through trial and error?
A little of both. At the time, we knew CBGB's was going to close down soon. The state of NYHC and hardcore music itself was at a changing point. Numerous figures in the NYHC scene were there to support me in the building of BNB productions. Some of my close friends like Civ, Freddy Madball, and others thought I was the one to do it. I felt we needed a legit hardcore production company that can penetrate some of the corporate walls that have engulfed NYC. And of course, me not being too familiar with the behind the scenes aspect of it, I asked Freddy to be my partner.

At what point did you try to distinguish what you were doing with Black and Blue from everyone else "in the game"? Did you think there was a competitive edge to it?
How do you feel as if you defined yourself different from others?
The only real difference was that we were street guys running a real legit production company. There were no real competitors who were focused strictly on hardcore/punk rock. The only way maybe I could say we were different is that we all have roots in NYC- the Mecca of everything.

Taking on the arduous task of running the Superbowl is something that I feel was absolutely necessary for not only NYHC but for the hardcore subgenres involved in the time honored event. How was it making the move back to NYC and what were your initial thoughts when you took on this burden?
I definitely didn’t think of it as a burden. Just like every hardcore kid, I was always a fan of the old school superbowls. Witnessing the deterioration of the show and what it use to mean to everybody everywhere, made me want to bring it back to where it was born.

Black N Blue productions have kick started a scene with a great past into the current history with great production, awesome venues and bills that are both pleasing to the old guard and the new crowd. What did you have in mind when things first started picking up? Were there specific goals you'd set up and have you reached them?
One of the first things I had in mind was trying to set a tone of unity being needed back in the scene. I am a firm believer of supporting the youth. Having them enjoy and acknowledge hardcore and how it should be. Yes there were specific goals, to get the kids excited about hardcore again, and to remind them that it wasn't all about fighting at shows....it was more about people coming to the same place for the same reasons and expressing our aggression against society not each other.

Name 5 bands over the course of your tenure in hardcore that have taught you something and in turn you wish the world would learn.

Agnostic Front
Majority of One
Gorilla Biscuits
Cro-Mags
Dead Kennedys

Few give you credit for the professional look and turn you took with your booking practices. I can remember seeing NYHC really started to just look like antiquated and outdated. Why did you go there and did you feel as if it was pushing you to heights and moving you past former d.i.y standards? Has the elder NYC crowd given resistance to this glossy change or have they lent a hand and been supportive?
I think in learning about the reality of the modern nyc attitude toward our scene, we found out it would benefit all around for us to come across as a legit/knowledgeable group of individuals who have their shit together, at the same time keeping it D.I.Y. The elder guys have been nothing but supportive, why shouldn't they?!

What do you see bands and promoters missing today? Where are they going wrong? Which aspect do you find most out of place today? Could you change it?
Really the only thing I can say is that everyone should communicate with each other to not do certain things such as booking 2 shows in the same night within a stones throw of each other.

Would you say the hardest thing about transferring what we've been through and what we've learned to the new generation is that there isn't the open ears and eyes to what we're saying and what we saw or is there a lack of a proper medium to show the new generations what the past has had to do to in order to get to this point?
I do feel that there is a good amount of the new generation that do understand and know about it, actually. The only problem is that those are the ones who need to step up and put more effort into contributing to spreading the word of this thing we all love and enjoy as one.

Do you feel helpless in watching ideals or principles of your generation, or things that you feel are important to the big picture be absorbed or covered up by the sands of time? Is there something you wish that would come back into play that has been lost? Or something that you'd like to see be rediscovered and back into the mix?
As Times change people change, that's just life. In my heart I feel that kids are starting to rediscover the ideals and principals that for some moments seemed lost. Such feelings may be stemming from the energy and reactions at the past 4 superbowls of hardcore in NY. Whoever has been to them has probably felt it also.

How does an event like the Superbowl retain its credibility in a world of kids who weren't around 2 years ago and may not be around next year? Aside from the change to the Black N Blue Bowl for legal name reasons, what other changes are you implementing to continue the prosperity of your event? Do you feel as if the entire hardcore community is served by your event or is there ways you could expand to include a bigger portion of the puzzle known as hardcore?
That event was brought back for the specific reason of giving everyone the vibe that so many of us older guys/gals experienced, in turn, changing many of our lives. At the same time, reviving the hardcore spirit. Not many changes are needed really, just keep the positive vibe at our shows and treat everyone like family, like it should be, like it was meant to be. We have always felt our shows have served the entire hardcore community, bringing bands from all over to play, young and not so young...haha.

Continuing Part One with Aram Betrayed/React! Records, Champion...

2008-12-09T12:13:00.001-08:00

Aram truly loves hardcore. He loves hardcore in such a way that to not include him in part one would actually be heresy. I've been friends with Aram for years and he is one of the most thoughtful person to ever have a disagreement with. In recent years he has done time fronting Betrayed and playing guitar in the mighty Champion. His experience and interaction with hardcore has given him some amazing insight in which he shares with us and its a true delight to have his ideas in this series.

There seems to be a void in sincerity and concentration in Hardcore if you ask me. I’d like to hear what you’d like to see kids focus on? Where is there too much focus these days?
I see two things that are really prevalent in hardcore right now and that’s “fantasy” hardcore and “boutique” hardcore. “Fantasy” hardcore is when people write on topics that they have no actually experience with or emotional attachment to, and try to portray themselves as being something that they’re not.
DUDE- YOU ARE LIVING A FANTASY. Not only is it obviously insincere, it’s also an insult to the people who have actually really had those experiences.

“Boutique” hardcore is something that I feel is relatively new. It’s not something you live, but rather something that you experience. You catalogue it, you document it, you take pictures of, you obsess over in your blog, and above all you buy it. You don’t live it you put up on a self to admire it for the artistic aesthetic. Its kind of the musical/cultural equivalent to a fixed gear bike– hardcore for the hip.

I think there is far too much focus on the style of HC rather than the message or lifestyle. So in that regard I’d like to see people start to look into WHY they are into hardcore. Like ask yourself, “Is this just something for me to do, or does it mean something?

As time moves on certain customs of our culture are dying out. Which custom would you like to see get a rebirth in 09? If only for aesthetics, what do you miss most of all when you walk up to a show to when the first note of the first band hits?
I really miss the crowd being up front at shows. Moshing and crowd busting have changed the dynamic of live shows. Rather than having people packed up front ready to sing along, people stand in that awkward U-shape and then rush forward to sing along, and then hightail it back for safety. Sorry kung-fu dudes I know you like to get buck-wild but it’s really made shows lame. When people stand in that U-shape it also keeps people from diving, which is such an awesome part of a live HC show, and that sucks the energy out of the room even more.

If you want shows to be fun and exciting then watch the, “Anthem” video by Agnostic Front and then do that. Get on stage and skank, dive off guitar cabs and monitors, grab the mic from the singer. Now for you kung-fu guys, you can still do your thing- just do it 10 away from the stage so that people can actually have fun.

You know once in Australia with Betrayed I talked about this on stage and people were psyched and the show was wild. But after we played this dude with a bandana and a tattoo of Jesus on his neck came up to me a got really steamed. He felt I was disrespecting his way of expressing himself at the show. It was weird because he was 1 person out of 150 and the other 149 wanted to sing along, stage dive, and circle pit. But, he wanted to stand in front of the stage, kick people in the back, and run into the crowd punching. It seemed like a pretty clear-cut case of him disrespecting how everyone else wanted to express themselves at the show. He didn’t see my side of it, but I gave him a Red Bull and he worked it out for himself.

You’ve done “enough” in hardcore to rest upon your laurels yet I find you working harder towards something that most kids today aren’t even capable of understanding its importance in the cogs of progress. Can you tell me why you’ve decided to do REACT! and you’re goals are? Is there one company or person that you’ve modeled this project after?
As insanely lame and cliché as it sounds- hardcore is in my blood. It’s the way I live my life, the scope through which I see, and an approach to engaging with what I think is fucked up in our world. I may not always play in bands- but I will always LIVE hardcore. That doesn’t mean that quote Side By Side all day and it doesn’t mean that talk non-stop about how, “Brightside” by Killing Time is a perfect record. It means that I have an unrelenting drive to be a part of our culture and try to giveback just as much as I’ve had the chance to take. Plus I love the Warzone self titled record- that really speaks volumes of what a truly legit character I am.

I started REACT! because I wanted to help bands get their message out there. We are living in some really troubled times and I think people need to speak up and I feel that the bands like Get the Most, Right Idea, and Mindset really have something to say. Beyond that- I love fast late 80’s hardcore and the art/aesthetic of that era of the core and I want REACT! to reflect that as well. So basically it’s about providing a voice for great bands with a message and then also putting a lot of time and care into the presentation of that voice. Intense attention is paid to every detail of each release so that when people get it hopefully that can see that and know that it’s an effort of love.

I definitely modeled the vibe of my label off early Revelation/Wishing Well Records but in terms of how it’s ran I’m 100% inspired and guided by Bridge 9, Deathwish Inc, Youngblood, Reaper, Powered, Six Feet Under, Rivalry, and Malfunction. Those labels are run by people that actually care about hardcore and who work their asses off to make sure bands have a voice. I can’t even begin to tell you how much Chris Wrenn, and Tre MaCarthy have helped my run the day-to-day of my label. Both have answered dozens of questions for me and gone way out of their way to support all of my releases. Furthermore, Michaelanne Jerome and Dave Larson have actually let me run REACT! out of their house in Seattle for the past year which is just such a generous and kind thing for them to do.

To be clear about this- the people in my life have been such an inspiration for me to do REACT! that I feel that the label goes beyond just the bands and me, I feel that people like Chris Wrenn and Tre, and all of my friends are a legitimate part of everything that REACT! does.

At one point does one truly decide that enough is enough and action is necessary to counter misdeeds of others, or a failed situation that hurts the community? Is there ever been a situation in your local scene where you felt like you could do nothing to change what was going on?
Well, in hardcore you always have people who are trying to prove themselves, or impress some idea about themselves onto others. Like, “fear me” or “respect me”, and that can be through violence, social pressure, or the cowardliness of the internet. The thing to keep in mind is that the world has ACTUAL problems that require our attention so in general I recommend not paying attention to that garbage.

But yes- sometimes situations do come up where enough is enough and things have to be dealt with. I’ve never shied away from those types of things, but I’ve also been very cautious about how I deal with them. The thing I keep in mind is that real change is made with an open hand than a closed fist, so in that regard I’ve tried to effect change in a very peaceful way.

Today I’d say the Edge is dull. I’d say it’s nothing more then a bath towel to keep the kids dry til they “grow up” and want to be more like everyone else. Would you say we’ve homogenized the edge to the point that the “rebel” factor has completely died out?
Well Straight Edge is a trend for most people and there’s no way to deny that. People get into it- are all gung-ho about it for 3 or 4 years, and then drop it when they get older. While I would love it if people stuck to it I also actually don’t really think that’s a bad things necessarily- I mean people are getting a chance to stay clean for a few years and get through points in their lives where they can really screw themselves up. Hopefully when/if they are done with the edge they’re in a place in their life where they can use responsibly and be healthy and safe. I try to be pragmatic about it and just accept people for who they want to be.

As for the edge being weak right now- yup I agree with you and I think it’s the fault of the bands and older edgemen/women. Hey, if you’re a Straight Edge band tell me WHY. If you have an X on your hand tell me WHY. What is important about the lifestyle and beliefs? Why is it a vital thing to your existence? Like make Straight Edge something real rather than just a way to identify the brand of music you play, or a cool thing to wear like an accessory. A big part of what I’m trying to do with REACT! is to talk about why I’m Straight Edge, what I find important about it, why I think it’s a smart way of living. Furthermore, I’m trying to encourage people taking something like Straight Edge and using that as a foundation for further growth. Don’t just stop using drugs and alcohol- try to live a good life, be the best person you can be!

I want you to name 5 bands that mean nothing to anyone the way they mean to you and why.
Beyond Possession- I grew up in Calgary Alberta, which is an isolated city in the middle of the prairies of Canada. Somehow a punk scene developed there in the early 80’s and Beyond Possession was without a doubt the breakout band. They melded hardcore and thrash and put out two unreal records, “Tell Tale Heart” EP which was released locally and the, “… Is Beyond Possession” LP which was released on Metal Blade. Despite being isolated up in Calgary BP not only became HUGE in Canada, but also managed to do multiple tours down the West Cast and even did a full US tour- which at the time was a really big deal.

They matter to me because when I was coming up in HC they were the archetype of DIY spirit. These guys didn’t wait for it to happen, they made it happen for themselves and that made a huge impression on me When I started playing music I never just waited for a handout, I made things happen for myself, and that’s something that’s just been valuable to my life in general. Beyond Possession played a role in helping to kinder that in me… and they wrote such SICK records!!!

Blindside- I know there have been a lot of bands called Blindside, so to specify this was the Blindside from Edmonton Alberta and they were the first Straight Edge band I ever saw live. By the late 80’s I’d been jamming lots of thrash and punk and by 1990 I was pretty much exclusively listening to early Dischord, Revelation, and the NYHC bands like Cro Mags, AF, SOIA, etc. Although I loved hardcore I kind of felt like a poser being into it because when I’d look at the records I’d see these huge tattooed dudes who looked like they spent all day jumping through brick walls. I was like, “I’m a skinny little dude from the suburbs… am I allowed to listen to this stuff????”. It’s funny looking back at those records because a lot of the dudes that I though were huge scary guys, now just look like normal teenagers to me.

Anyway- at that time grunge had hit and locally nothing was happing musically that really got me psyched. I mean there were tons of bands, and they were actually really good, but there was nothing that came close to matching the unreal jams that were coming out of my stereo. But, in the winter of 1990 I had the chance to catch Blindside and they really changed the way I viewed my place in HC. These guys played HARD and FAST, had songs about real day struggles, and actually looked like my friends and me. Seeing them up on stage ripping so hard really made me feel that hardcore was where I could be more than just a fan- that I could actually be a part of it. That was something that made a major impact in my life and helped to set me on that path that I’m on today. Seriously the three Blindside demos are AWESOME!!!

Road Crew Orange- When I was a kid we all played in bad bands, RCO was the first of my friend’s bands that got legitimately good. They were a punk band from Calgary, and the singer Rob (who currently sings in a punk band called The Dog Faced Models) was a great frontman. He was the first dude I knew who had a great record collection and he would always tape all of these new bands for us. He may or may not have been the guy who first got me into a lot of the stuff that I’m into today.

Anyway- all our bands all sucked, but when RCO put out their first demo it blew all our minds! This was legitimately good stuff and people in Calgary really started to get into them. That was so inspiring for all of us- people actually cared what our friends were doing! Immediately we all got serious about getting better, playing harder, and recording our music and that eventually lead us to getting our own demos out there. Man- that was a freaking exciting time of my life!! Road Crew Orange went on to record a second demo, which was even better than the first, but then broke up when the early 90’s PC wave hit Calgary. Great band!

Strain- Good lord! Strain were AWESOME. Imagine taking all the power of a tank, putting it in musical form, and then having a gorilla sing. EPIC. They had the 90’s heavy hardcore sound and put out a bunch of EPs on the German label Heart First and then a full length called, “Here and Now” on New Age Records and pretty much have a flawless discography. In fact, they never wimped out- they never did weird noise stuff, they never got melodic, they just always provided the ultimate crushing GROOVE.

Strain were important to me for a couple of reasons: They lived at home with their families, drove mustangs, and wore sweat pants on stage- yet still wrote some of the best HC at the time. It was just awesome to see dudes who weren’t caught up in trying to have an “image”, they just did what they pleased and people both loved and hated them for it. Also, they were the first band that I was friends with who ever went to Europe. I remember the bass player coming back from their first trip there and showing me video footage from the shows…. HOLY CRAP IT WAS AWESOME!!!! They just really inspired me to be who I wanted to be, and to set goals and make them happen.

Trial- Beyond being just an amazing band Trial also took me out on my first real tour. I roadied for them on the “Are These Our Lives” West Coast tour and the things that I learned on that trip I applied to Champion. Also, Timm Mac from Trial/Wait In Vain/Panic records is the reason that I joined Champion.

Trial were cool guys and a great band, and they gave a weirdo like me the chance to get out and see the West Coast for the first time. The van broke down one million times, I spent my birthday stranded in a parking lot, I saw Gilman Street, I met people I’m still friends with today, I pissed in bottles. It was great!

At the end of the day when you’re sitting on your porch with your lemonade and your grandkids are asking about your life, what do you share with them about your time in hardcore?

I’d share with them that I saw the world on my own terms. I was a part of something I believed in. My beliefs grew and evolved with time, but I never compromised them. I spoke out against what I thought was wrong. I made lasting friendships.

PS- I met your Grandmother through Myspace.

What is the most fundamentally important aspect of hardcore that you see drifting away? How do we fix it?
The most fundamentally important part of HC that I see drifting away is CARING- a genuine concern about what is going on in the world and the will to turn that concern into action. People seem to have been pacified by being “into” punk/hardcore and have been fooled into thinking that by just wearing the costume that they are making some kind of statement. Furthermore, instead of looking at the world around us people focus inward on our little scene and get caught up in petty bullshit that distracts them from real life. Here’s some reality for you- the powers that be would like nothing more for you to marginalize yourself by becoming obsessed with some little slice of culture. That way you stay distracted, follow the rules, and remain a dedicated consumer.

I don’t know if real CARING has ever been a part of HC. I like to think it has, but when I see people getting caught up in petty garbage I just feel sick inside. Oh shit! Did someone disrespect you? Holy fuck! Do they not wear “jaded” as gracefully as you do? Holy mother of god- does someone like the wrong bands? HELLO DUMMY!! HERE ARE SOME ACTUAL PROBLEMS: within 100 miles of where you live there are multiple people who are starving and have nowhere to sleep. Here’s another one- people within your community are still discriminated against because of their race, sex, or sexual orientation. Those are actual problems within every community in North America that people have the ability to effect in very real ways.

How do we fix it? First start by listening to, “Just Look Around” by Sick Of It All. I’m not even kidding- that song is so powerful and contains so much honest frustration that whenever I listen to it I get energized to do some good. Next, lets get the lines of communication open again! Lets talk about what’s going on and how we can help! Lets set REALISTIC goals and work on them. Hey- how about at your next show you do a food drive? Okay, how about you and some kids from the local scene volunteer once a week at the homeless shelter. Not into that? Okay, why not learn about the homeless situation in your city and then get that information out to the people in your scene- write about it, talk about it. Hey- is there a rally that supports gay marriage? Go to it! Bring your friends and wear YOT shirts. Talk with other people about how we can be more inclusive in our society, how we can respect people as they are rather than trying to force them to fit some mold. Don’ worry, you can easily wear so ill all over print shirt while doing this and rock some very fresh sneakers. Support people in supporting people. Be a decent human. Oh and stop eating animals because those guys are nice.

And now the counter to that, what is the latest element to hardcore that you find to be an insult to all you love and dear and when does it end?
Hardcore “professionals”. Guy- yes you- your band is not “professional”. I know things are going well for you but try to get some grip of REALITY. I don’t care if you tour 10 months a year and that your record is doing really, reeaaalllyy well. You are still in a hardcore band so grow a set and act like it. Don’t be rude to kids. Don’t talk down to promoters. Don’t ruin venues. That shit is more so you can tell the story- or so that people can tell the story about you- than it is about being in the moment. It’s totally weak and intensely boring.

Instead of traveling around the country and acting like either a shitty jock or a “shady dude” you have the opportunity to actually do something meaningful. Don’t fuck that up

Part One Continues with Freddy Cricien of Madball

2008-12-08T18:04:00.000-08:00

Freddy Cricien needs little introduction here but I will do my best to explain the reason behind his importance to this interview series. As a direct descendant of Agnostic Front as a younger kid in the glory days of the hardcore scene to his teenage start in what would soon be one of the most important hardcore bands of the modern era, his life has always had some intimate interaction with the core. Madball to this day is one of the few bands that will play the small crowded diy shows and do well on a European festival in front of tens of thousands. They are the quintessential kings of hardcore as we speak and here is his words and thoughts in our last few interviews of part one.

There seems to be a void in sincerity and concentration in Hardcore if you ask me.
I’d like to hear what you’d like to see kids focus on?
I'd like to see kids focus on doing homework... Not to sound like a "teacher" or anything...haha But, some of these new generation kids are not well schooled on real deal HC. Old and new.

Where is there too much focus these days?
There's too much focus on who looks cool on the dance floor. Watch the show and participate! Like kids do everywhere else in the world.

Do you ever wake up and want something else?
No

Is there anything else you’d like your life to touch upon?
Of course there is, many things. And, I will touch upon them. Whether it is musically, personally. I'm not a limited/one dimensional individual in general.

Could you do this for the rest of your life?
I'd like to stay involved in "music" in one form or another... For as long as I can. If I live to a ripe old age, I doubt I'll be jumping around like I do with Madball... Then again who knows... Ha

Being in one of the most influential bands in hardcore leaves you in a precarious position that you’re not on the floor with everyone the way it used to be when you were younger. Do you miss just being a kid on the floor? Is there a band that brings you back to those youthful moments?
First off, Thanks for the props. But, what do you mean? I was on the floor with everybody last time I played the church... Haha. The bands that bring me to those youthful moments are AF and Cro Mags.

When you think of your extended discography which song are you most proud of lyrically? What song WON’T you play and why?
Lyrically... I haven't written it yet. We won't play Step To You... Not feeling that one really.

Despite rumors and allegations you’ve managed to keep your face clean and the kids love and respect Madball in a way that few of the rougher bands have ever been received. What would you see would cause Madball to win over the younger less “street” hardcore crowd over many of your rougher infamous peers?
Not sure really? I mean regardless of how people perceive us, we've always been and continue to be sincere or "real" with our music and in our personal lives. If that’s being a "tough guy" than so be it. Of course we've grown, matured, learned from mistakes,etc,etc... But in respect to MB, it's still as aggressive as always. Ok, maybe we're a Lil more positive and it's rubbed off! Ha. Or maybe, people stopped being so over sensitive. Maybe, people finally realized that they are involved in an aggressive, energetic, subculture that was born in the streets? That's not necessarily negative either. It's what you make and take from it. I'm not condoning unnecessary violence or anything like that. I'm saying loosen up and expand your minds.

As time moves on certain customs of our culture are dying out. Which custom would you like to see get a rebirth in 09? If only for aesthetics, what do you miss most of all when you walk up to a show to when the first note of the first band hits?
I think I'm going to bring back the custom of punching who ever is in front of me in the face... When the first chord hits of course. Just kidding, I've actually never done that. I guess honestly speaking; it used to be that when your favorite band hit the stage... You would just go nuts. Don't get me wrong, that still happens at a lot of shows! But especially in the states, there is a "cool" factor that needs to go. People waiting for the next guy to do a dance move to react,etc,etc. Have fun!

I want you to name 5 bands that mean nothing to anyone the way they mean to you and why.
Is this a trick question? Ok well, how about this...
Agnostic Front-for obvious reasons-my mentors.
Madball- for obvious reasons- This is by no means egotistical. It just applies to the question. This band will never mean for others what it means for me.
Bob Marley and the Wailers- for me it wasn't about weed or Jah. It was about the message. I learned to appreciate the power of lyrics with Bob Marley as well as many others!
Public Enemy- I actually studied it takes a nation of millions to hold us back... I had no choice. I had a broken arm that summer so I was bed ridden for a bit... Freedom of expression is a beautiful thing!
Johnny Cash- because I think he's singing about me sometimes... Haha. So does everyone else right...probably? This guy is the epitome of swagger.
Benny Morre-it's nostalgic and I think of my Family living (still today) oppressed on the Island of Cuba. Some people can probably relate though...

At the end of the day when you’re sitting on your porch with your lemonade and your grandkids are asking about your life, what do you share with them about your time in hardcore?
I tell them as much as I can remember. My memory is bad now... Imagine then... Haha. Seriously, I’d tell them they wouldn't be there if not for HC and their Grandma. You see, my life doesn't revolve around this subculture of ours... But, it definitely saved my life... Along with my wife.

I need the roster of the super hardcore band. Give them a name and tell me what they would sound like.
Roger on vocals, Vinnie on guitar, Matt Henderson on guitar, Craig Setari on Bass, Will Shepler on drums! Oh wait... That's Agnostic Front.., I had to do it man

What is the most fundamentally important aspect of hardcore that you see drifting away? How do we fix it?
The most fundamental thing we are losing is Unity. We fix it by not putting up walls, being elitist, and not being judgmental.

And now the counter to that, what is the latest element to hardcore that you find to be an insult to all you love and dear and when does it end?
Bad haircuts. It ends when I bust out the clippers... Haha. Thanks Joe.

Where Are They Now?

2008-12-06T02:23:00.000-08:00

The internet is a funny thing. On the “local” message board or internet community that I often post, I made a post regarding the Carmen Blog so people who knew him could check out what I wrote. It’s the only way I tell people I wrote something new up here unless of course I am sure the person in particular has an interest worth alerting them to the stuff up here.
From an exchange of comments, funny stories of Carmen and those times came an infamous picture which seems so far away and so from a distant planet that viewing it again after the post and the release of all that from the writing I was shocked to see it.

Its 4 30 in the morning, I am currently sitting here with ice on my balls from getting the long overdue vasectomy and a light bulb went off in my head once I saw the pic.
Maybe it’s the percocet that is helping to take the sting out of the healing process or I may actually have found a fun way to tell a story on here.

Where I go with the first installment (maybe only??) of
WHERE THEY ARE NOW...

Thanks to Chris, who is still a dear friend after all these years for posting the pic.

I am looking at this picture and I am seeing a few faces that are no longer with us. Two dear friends that actually are at the top of the seating arrangement in this particular shot. Could it be that they are foreshadowing their current status as dear friends, hopefully sitting above watching our lives and having a beer and a laugh at our misdeeds and hijinx?

To the Left is a man I just spoke highly about
Carmen Diamico. He may be gone but he is always kept in high honor and regard.

Top Right is my dear fallen brother Stoney. Dan Stone was loved by many and is remembered each year with a charity soccer tournament held by Casey Huckel followed by a beef and beer. The proceeds go towards the budding Stoney United and the Franklin Towne Charter Soccer Team. Stoney United is the brainstorm of Casey Huckel as the name of our indoor team in the men’s league we were in, which now plays outdoor and does a damn fine job (even without me :P ). Franklin Towne Charter is the school in which Casey works as a math teacher and high school soccer coach. Stoney in his last years was the assistant coach and he is now honored with an annual award given to a member of the Boys Soccer Team. It’s a blessing that someone who works as diligently as Casey does is out there keeping Stoney’s name alive as far as he can spread his Frankford Arsenal shirts and such. A true whole blog will have to written about Stoney, needless to say, he embodied the free spirit that we all wish we still had and he died tragically way too young. I still miss him every day.

2nd down on the Left is Mark Purnell from Chicago. Mark came out to visit Philadelphia on Easter Week in 98. This picture is from that time. I met the Chicago guys in the summer of 97 as they were sitting on South Street trying to sell cds. I later wrote (a physical letter) to them in regards to their band Catburglar. We had them come out that thanksgiving. It was an awesome time, with a football game the Friday after thanksgiving followed by two shows and I am thankful for that time as I’ve made a lifetime friend out of Luke who traveled with them, as well as Remis and had a few adventures in California 2 summers later with VJ. Mark’s brother Tommy and Shawn were in the band Catburglar and he had such a good time he wanted to come back out. 7 days or so and each night was filled with a lot of fun and chaos ranging from seeing Skarhead with Vanilla Ice to a weird post movies hangout with some random girls that had a girl drinking a glass of piss after she had sexual relations with none other then Stoney. Mark is doing well from what I’ve heard but it has been over 5 years since I’ve seen him.

Sitting down on the Couch to the left is Mike Holzer. Mike Holzer was the guy who Carmen hung out with a lot towards the end of his life. He was Carmen’s other best friend. He grew up next door to Bushy’s house on Hunting Park ave. He was an excellent zany mechanic who I could fill two blogs worth of funny Holzer stories with. Needless to say, he had some bad times and is now rebounding. I saw him this summer randomly as Jay and I were coming home from work. He is still himself only now he has a potbelly. I hope he stays on the good path he seemed to be on.

Center of the Couch is Chris Palmer sang for Victory Strike who would later reform without him as HorrorShow. As many guys from the neighborhood came into hardcore and left quickly Palmer is still an avid fan, though because he works in the downtown bars, he has to pick and choose what shows he can go to. He is still a great friend and even though he may get a lil emotional when he is drunk, I am glad he is still the same person he ever was. There is nothing like hearing him and Mikey argue. I wish I could tape it and later sell it for a fortune. They are possibly the greatest comedy duo of this generation. Last time I seen Palmer was at Paddy’s Well last month. He got very drunk and bit the top of my head. Despite his constant professing of his undying love for me, I love him very much and I am glad he is doing what he always does.

Sitting on the right of the couch is ME. This picture features me with a 40 of St. Ides. Back when I still drank and I was not even 18 in this picture. Nothing like partying at whatever time at night it was in my house. God I’ve changed so much since then.

Sitting down on the floor to the left is Chris X- This picture could have been taken 2 days ago. He is still about the same size and hasn’t changed much in how he dresses at all. We can add some tattoos on his hands and we have modern day Chris. I met Chris many years ago and to this day I can see him after not seeing him in months and it’s like we were just hanging the other day. It’s safe to say he is the diametric opposite of Chris Palmer, although they probably love a lot of the gay 80s music that Chris X spins for a living. Chris is still the man and I hope we can hang out and shoot the shit soon.

Sitting on Chris X’s lap is Kayla Devon
My dear Kayla who is now a few months from being 12 years old, back when she was not a few months passed her 1st birthday. You can see from the toys everywhere that Kayla had full carte blanche to play as she needed and yet she still managed to find time to jump into a pic with Dad and the fellas. She is my oldest and she is so bright it makes me so proud. It’s uncanny how close my wee girl Keira (who is 2 now) resembles Kayla at nearly the same age. I guess I have some serious genes huh? Kayla is currently kicking ass in the 6th grade, playing the cello and involved in a few Christian girl’s groups. She would like to be an actor one day and Fall Out Boy is her favorite band. I am a very lucky father indeed.

Sitting down in the center is Brian Tobin
This is at the stage in Brian’s life when he was all consumed with graffiti and just started getting tattooed. It’s interesting to think of this pic in terms of people that have changed a lot and people who haven’t. Out of all them Brian has changed the most. He was never a settled kid who soon after this phase began dressing more in Polo and fine duds of the time. After some jeering from others he got swept up in the MakeOutClub early '00 's scene that left some scandalous stories about him making out with dudes and such. He looked more like a mod at the time and could been seen with Spock hair and tight dress pants. Today he is a skinhead who has some small ties to the rockabilly world via his very hot girlfriend. I believe he is doing well and I hope he finds something that he is comfortable with so he can reach true happiness. Until then I am sure he will at least have a string of very hot girls from his past to make up for being unsettled in his music and clothes.

I find this picture to be a great freeze frame on an end of a night of a week that will always standout in my mind. You could really have interchanged all of these guys in the pic and somehow it made sense how they were tied into each other. It was a wide variety and margin to which we all filled in and found each other but we can all be accounted for and it’s awesome to see this online nearly 12 years after it was taken. I have tons of pics like these and the thoughts that rush out of my head and stories that flash before me seem to never end. I will have to take some time and dig through and see if I can put some more of these up.

9 years and I am still in disbelief.

2008-12-03T22:16:00.001-08:00

Carmen Diamico was a friend like No One Else.

He came at a time when I had several patches of friends in the neighborhood.He was standing there in the rain with a 40 waiting outside the FU Kwai Inn.

This only stuck out because he was only like 16 and drinking a 40 and waiting on his food like we were. I saw he had a different look on him then some of these guys who had rolled around these blocks. I’d only lived there a few weeks but I’d hung there for about a year or two now. He and I exchanged glances and that was it till he started walking ahead of us up the block. I saw he turned down the block down the way from my boy’s house and I didn’t know anyone on that block. It was less then 5 days later that I was on the el with him coming back from a concert at the Troc that I said what’s up to him.

Since then we had our great times, our up's, our down’s.
I never had a friend who could be so quiet and yet still be so a part of everything that was going on at the moment. There was a few running jokes that he was the silent Bob to me being Jay (me with long hair and a baseball cap- it’s a bad joke but sadly a dead on resemblance once I get goin’)

Carmen was from Juniata but lived down this part of Frankford. He was the closest thing to a bridge between those worlds for me. Bushy knew his sister and such and he was into a few of the metal bands I was about and showed me some punk and oi! Bands. We would steady go back and forth about different hardcore bands and records. It was a great mix for me because I felt comfortable around him and I could tell he needed this the way I did. A lot of my earliest show days Carmen was there. Maybe at first he didn’t roll with us but he was at the shows, could tell you every detail and wasn’t a bullshitter. It was uncanny that he could be in the room and you wouldn’t see him till he liked a song and then he was out on the floor.
That was our friendship for about a year till he disappeared. We had a running joke that soon followed “where in the world was Carmen Diamico?”
I actually remember posting up on Bridge Street and seeing him going down on the 25 bus and he waved. It was fuckin odd to say the least.

Fast forward to me being 16 and living over the bar my mom worked at. I was working on my GED through a catholic services school because I was 16 and not able to take it without their “help”. They taught me a few things about computers (back when DOS was the shit) and I even learned how to type. My main gig was being a porter at a bowling alley. 16 years old, working 55 hours plus a week for 5.35 an hour, man those were the days huh? Maria was pregnant and collectin so that little bit helped.
When Carmen told me he was having problems at the house back there I offered him the “other” room we had. He jumped in and I had my first and only roommate (unless you count the 21 days Bushy lived with us after Maria went into the hospital not long after Kayla was born till we got kicked out :P ) We would get a ton of shit from Maria and Michelle (her best friend and one of his hookups) but we didn’t mind. He was working at the pool as a lifeguard and later he would work at the bowling alley with me. The job was cake work and better then anything we could have got around FKD.
He and I really grew a bond that fall into winter. The running joke at the time was “_____ was going off the deck” that lead to the back of the apt from the driveway behind the bar.
It could be I’m throwing you off the deck, Maria and her stupid dog or a particular CD. It was a good stress reliever and a great line. We’d have more then crazy girls and shitty jobs to share. When H2O opened for Social Distortion, we made the choice to stay for the show instead of going back to Bushy’s house party at his mom's.

What we missed was a legendary showdown between our friends and the neighborhood crew that hung at McVeigh playground. A few words were exchanged with some Jtown guys going from the El to the party and a mob ensued and laid waste to most of the dudes outside who were unlucky enough to be locked out when the girls inside the party locked the door effectively leaving everyone on the porch to an asswhooping and keeping all the rest inside. That is except for Bushy who was eventually thrown through the large window and left with a scar on his elbow since. Our fate was to be singled out at first by some Nazis and due in part to our own stubbornness we were rolled out in the middle of the crowd. There were more then a few hardcore “kids” that watched as the two of us had our asses handed to us, but since we had few friends and all of which who were at the party we were left out to dry and beaten merciless until Mike Ness threw a water bottle into the crowd and H2O tried jumping the barricade to get involved. I can remember outside bleeding from my face and all the people who watched were so quick to jump on the “lets get them Nazi @%*& bandwagon”. It was good timing that Toby called them on their shit and told them they had their chance and did nothing.
Going home that night with ripped clothes and smashed heads we laughed at the scum on the el shuttle. We both knew the shit the girls would have to say and it was glorious.

That life continued till we had Kayla Devon born to us in Feb of 97. Within 2 weeks Maria would go from sick to near death in the hospitalization.
I remember coming home from visiting her to Carmen and Bushy on the speaker phone in our living room on a “talk line” trying to line up girls to hang out that night. I’d crushed my finger in between two bowling balls and effectively wrecked my left pinky for life just 4 days after my daughter was born. I was out of work and spending my days by Maria’s side as she showed her true colors more and more.
We eventually had to leave the apartment and it was time anyway. Carmen and I were at each other's throats for the frustrations the girls caused. Maria and I had split up only a month after our kid was born and I was still only 16 so back to my moms I went. I remember he and I got into a fistfight soon after in my dining room and it ended with my mom throwing him off me bc he was biting my stomach. Needless to say, I didn’t see him for a few months. Tempers cooled and he was really one of the main people in the development and continuation of my struggle of mastering the arts of the street and hardcore scene.
He drove the smallest Plymouth Sundance and it was in that car that I took and passed my driver’s license test. It would be that same car that would be packed to the gills driving to NY, or Long Island or the many trips up the Northeast Extension to Sea Sea’s.

Conning Carmen into the driving became an art I’d perfected. I would drive, he would party we would all win. 3 and 4 show weekends were guaranteed. It was in those times that we would have the deep conversation coming home from the show about life. I really understood a lot of where he was coming from in those moments. I got a lot of my ideas of release and escapism from those talks with him. Soon enough we were both busy with jobs and doing shit that kept the shows to maybe twice a month traveling and everything in the city and close by. He’d eventually hooked up with Maria’s other friend who had a serious set of fake boobs and absolutely adored him. I truly thought he had it all at that stage. He was never happier then with that girl.

At that stage in my life, I was so bummed on the missed opportunity of rushing out of high school to live the love life with Maria that would ultimately end 7 months into our daughter’s life. I felt like I’d passed up my chance and was throwing myself into a pity pot and getting into lots of reckless useless trouble. He helped sooth the wounds and would steer me from total damnation. He was always the sound mind in the noise and chaos. He never went over the edge. He never had that bloodlust or that need for vengeance. I’d gotten my pass to get out of the city and troubles by touring with Dysphoria. He was still working the bowling alley only moving up to being trained to be the mechanic. They made the real bucks and he was doing ok. He would fuck his back up and be laid up for a very long time. It was parties in his mom’s basement and shows where we would hang out at this point. I remember him telling me he loved me and that he wish he could go with me on the Dysphoria tour.

It wasn’t long after I was home from tour that life changed. Younger kids had gained ground, older guys were backing away. Carmen had put some distance on the world.
That fall he would watch practice tapes of Punishment and get super excited for our eventual first show. He was the one who helped me with the lyrics to Prisoner. He liked the idea of No Way Out. There was a store in the mall near us called Way Out and he was drunk laughing “No Way Out” and making silly references to our friend who used to work there. About a month later he called me after an H2O show at the Troc. At this point I wasn’t allowed there and it was a bumout for him. It was a short check in call and that was it.

I can remember it like it was yesterday only it was 9 years ago today.
My mom was putting up decorations and George called. Earlier he’d had to bite the bullet and tell me Jay Insana was burned alive in a fire. He was calling in tears to tell me they think Carmen was dead. We rushed to his house to see cops everywhere. They wouldn’t let us by the tape. His mom who hated me with all the fire of Hades ran out and embraced me. I was his bad influence. I was the one who got him into trouble. Yet I was the one consoling her as she told me Carmen shot himself this morning.

That night was a blur, it was agony. There was 30 or 40 of us at my house. I was shit faced within an hour. I don’t know what I drank or how much but it was not enough.

My friend was dead and I didn’t know why.
Through the haze of the wake up the following morning I’d decided I was never going to get drunk or fucked up again. He was gone. In a moment of clarity that has rarely touched me; I knew my friend was connection to the fun involved in the drinking. I needed self control now. I needed strength. Drinking was going to be my undoing. I was 19 and I needed to be better for everyone.

The rest of this tale plays out easily. He looked like a lil boy in his casket. I’d cried so much the first night I was dumbfounded and numb till I got there. We walked the 2 miles to the service jokingly talking shit on him to keep our spirits up. The minute I saw his face I was done. I couldn’t hold back.

Punishment would later write a song for him that we butchered up through the years. I wish it was good enough to stand the test of time for a friend whose memory is etched in so much of my every day life that I constantly smiling at his small touches still left in my life.

December Third is a day of sadness for me and one I dread as the calendar year thins down to the last of the pages. I am always alone; I barely can speak or function some years. This was the 9th time and one of the worst.

I wish I had all the lessons learned from the mistakes of those days.
We all have our ways to remember a friend. In the hardcore world, it’s not uncommon for someone to be memorialized with a tattoo. I took one of the pieces of flash from the Love Songs for the Unloved record by Sheer Terror and had it customized for the situation. The flash is associated with the song Jimmy’s High Life, yea the Gun and the flowers. Carmen being such an accurate sniper and world class smart ass he would have loved the pun of it. I’d had his name on the banner and the gun; well you just read the story.
Not a bad way to remember the kid who ended a suicide note, P.s. Mom sorry about the mess.

G.B.N.F

Part 1 Continues with Chris Wrenn of Bridge 9

2008-11-17T15:12:00.000-08:00

For me to properly introduce this man I feel like there should be a sold out stadium full of hardcore kids with their fists pumping in the air... All the house lights blacked out as I began the overly reverbed big voice over the PA - Here he is ladies and gentlem, boys and girls- hardcore kids for all ages. The man who played such a key role in the release of hardcore from the death grip of the Bulldog's hands. A man who has played a major role in the reformaion and rebirth of hardcore over the last decade. A guy who took an idea that was older then he was, built out of his CT bedroom and into one of the most respected record labels in hardcore ever..
(cue the spotlights on the man running out of the tunnel with the mic in his hand)
CHRIS MOTHER F@$%KIN WRENN..

Actually, to say the least I've been a fan of Chris "work" since B901. I've always thought he came out at such a great time and really stuck with it until he was able to really "tear down the walls" so to speak with the American Nightmare releases. It was his steadfast work ethic, eye for detail and aesthetic authenticity that brought some of the best of the new era out to the world, as well as keeping a legacy to the old world and releasing some amazing records and projects like the Schism book. Chris's dedication and love for the core, coupled with his intimate relationship with hardcore and today's scene made him an obvious choice for an interview in my ongoing works. I hope you stay with me for the duration as it only gets better from here.

There seems to be a void in sincerity and concentration in Hardcore if you ask me. I’d like to hear what you’d like to see kids focus on?
Where is there too much focus these days?

Hardcore has gotten too easy. The barrier of entry is so low, that there is no quality control. Finding the hardcore scene used to be difficult and when people got there, they didn't take it for granted, because they had to earn their way there. Not to say that it was a closed subculture, but it was a place that you didn't jump into right away. Kids leave hardcore as quickly as they come in these day - but while they're here, they cherry pick their favorite parts whether it is mosh parts or a particular style or look and then apply it to whatever mutation of hardcore punk they've created.... I think that the internet has homogenized hardcore like a fast food hamburger. The easy access of information has watered things down. Kids have so much music available to them, that they don't connect with it on the same level, making it easier to drop when something cooler comes along. I think kids need to focus on the content and the message, not on the trends and bullshit.

You created Bridge Nine out of thin air. You’ve had time to hone your business skills and the ropes have left their burns on you. Which labels had the most influence on you when you were working on the earlier releases? Who has been an inspiration or motivation to what you’ve done since?

I started going to shows in 1991 and started B9 in 1995, so in the grand scheme of things I was still pretty young and new when I decided to put out my first 7". In regards to "bigger" labels at that time, Revelation was still a force and I was a huge fan of their earlier catalog. Victory was getting huge in terms of hardcore and it wasn't hard to be swept up in that wave of mid 90's bands like Earth Crisis, Strife, Snapcase. Equal Vision was also a big influence - I liked their bands as well and dealt with Steve Reddy quite a bit (EVR printed our merch in the early days). Smaller labels like Indecision, New Age, Bloodlink... All were an influence to me. All of those labels did their own vinyl which included limited editions, which I like. Record collecting is fun. Revelation made a series of huge 24"x36" posters in the late 80's for their bands, and that was a direct influence on my deciding to make a similarly sized poster for a few of our bands. It's a cool thing for a band to have, no one makes posters that size anymore, so I'm glad to do it. I have no formal business background. I studied art and design and had to learn through trial and error how to handle a business. Fortunately, it has been over a long period of time - I started very slowly and have grown over the past 13 years, and I am still learning new things all of the time. I am constantly being inspired and motivated - seeing someone like Johnny Cupcakes (Boston based designer) accomplishing everything that he is, is inspiring. I just read Richard Branson's autobiography - that is inspiring. Getting a care package from Aram's (former Champion / Betrayed member, current label guy) label React! and seeing the quality and attention to detail of everything included, that is inspiring. Every time B9 accomplishes something new, or innovates something, or creates a cool opportunity for one of our bands, I become more motivated.

As time moves on certain customs of our culture are dying out. Which custom would you like to see get a rebirth in 09? If only for aesthetics, what do you miss most of all when you walk up to a show to when the first note of the first band hits?

If someone asked me to describe the physical aspects of hardcore culture, tangible things that I think have played a significant role and should continue to exist and be promoted, it would include several things that have been eliminated by the convenience of the internet. First, and one of the most important, the photocopied show flyer. Flyers that I have collected over the years, are in some cases the only physical evidence that a show even happened. A good flyer features artwork and design by someone involved in the scene and is a documentation of the event. A cool flyer will always be relevant - something that you want to collect, or tape on your wall, to remind you of a show that you went to or one from before your time that you wished you had seen. It can be a showcase for a talented illustrator and a social commentary for an artist. I've always loved flyers and that is why I use a background compiled of flyers on the B9 messageboard - just to continually reinforce something that I think is important. Those myspace and messageboard bulletins that have since replaced the widespread use of flyers might be cheaper and more convenient to design, post, and copy, but they disappear just as quickly as they came and they don't leave a permanent record. Another dying custom is the fanzine. I've commented on this before - there are a ton of great interviews online with current bands that will be lost to time, if they are not reprinted in a tangible form. The only reason why I was able to reprint the issues of Schism Fanzine, 18 years after the fact, was because I was able to track down the original copies. Being able to hold an almost 2 decades old fanzine allowed me to scan & compile them in book form. The current generations of hardcore are going to have a hard time piecing together their history a decade or so after the fact, when 95% of the interviews and photos and commentary and editorials related to their scenes are deleted when each and every current HC websites, myspace pages and blogs are no longer online. Even if people started printing tangible fanzines at the end of the year with a "best of" format, that would be a start.

How do you do it? What drives you to be someone who stands behind the scenes and makes some of the biggest wheels in our scene turn? What still motivates you to get up and live for this the way that you do?

The challenge has always been the motivating factor. Every part of being involved in a label like B9 has been a challenge at some point, and trying new things, developing new ideas, taking risks has always been exciting for me. I didn't go to school for business, most everything in that respect has been trial and error. I also have help from some really hard working people at the B9 office, who really help make the wheels turn. Karl is B9's label manager, and has become the life's blood here at B9. Seth is our multi-tasker, keeping Karl and I on point. Matt keeps our mailorder department in check, and Jamie, our latest hire, helps handle all of our publicity and promotional responsibilities. I also give everything that I do 110%. I got up for YEARS at 6am so that I could drive my wife to the commuter train and then head into the office by 7am, so that I could get to work early. Most people that I know got to work around 9am, and by getting in an extra 2 hours every day, I was gaining a years head start over a 4 year period, roughly the time that B9 was based out of Salem, MA. Having an extra years worth of time to focus on my projects was invaluable. I don't get up as early these days but I feel that having done so during that time was critical.

Name 3 things that people would never associate with your job but being a big part of the behind the scenes work.

This is a tough one. When you start an independent record label, you're responsible for everything. If anything breaks, or goes wrong, or needs to be addressed - no one else is going to fix it. For many years if I didn't figure out how to handle something, it just wasn't dealt with - I am very fortunate to be surrounded by people who are just as good at problem solving as I tried to be. Lately, I've had the opportunity to spend more time developing new projects and sourcing out new merch that B9 can provide for our bands. For years, I've wanted to make die cut clear stickers like the one that I used to put on my skateboards when I was younger. I finally found a place and made them for Verse and Have Heart. The 3'x5' banners that B9 brought out earlier this year - this is something that literally does not exist for independent bands. If you want an Iron Maiden or Metallica tapestry - you can get a pretty cheaply made one easily. I was able to source out a banner that is not only a high quality material (with grommets in each corner - my Led Zeppelin one growing up didn't even have that) and I was able to do it at a quantity of only 500 pieces per band. And just over the past month, I've been able to switch over to B9 branded t-shirts, tagless tees that have our logo and sizing information screenprinted into the inside of the shirt - something that no other label has done, to my knowledge. I've only been able to explore some of these ideas because I've got such a great group of people working with me - for a long time, I was wearing most of the hats, so I was too burned out to be creative. Over the past year or so, I've been able to think outside of the box more than ever before. Designing stuff like this is one of the many rolls that a label can play. I recently saw someone post "let's show the world that we don't need labels anymore" on the B9 board... They were promoting their own self released EP. In 2008 - there are a lot of things that bands can do for themselves, and it's pretty amazing. It's possible for a band to finance their own recording, set up their own online store, and distribute their own music and merch. But what happens when the band goes on tour? Who's going to pack up their mail orders? Mail order fulfillment is one service that a label can provide. The band loses a cut to the label when we fulfill their merch, but their store doesn't have to close while they're on tour, or kids don't have to wait 5 weeks to get their order. When a band works with us - they get more than just their music and merch out. They also tap into 13+ years of relationships and bands. While we don't book bands on tour, we get great hookups for our bands on tours because of the bands and agents that we know. Most hardcore bands start out with a few years of relationships and connections. When we sign a band, they can tap into opportunities far beyond their own circles, and hopefully realize their potential faster because of it.

If you could put out 1 release that came out on another label what would it be? (fantasy release)

Considering B9's pretty humble beginnings - I've had a chance to do a lot of records that I would consider fantasy releases. 7" EP's with Sick Of It All, Agnostic Front, Project X, New Found Glory, LP's with Slapshot & some bands that I've had the opportunity to work with early on, like American Nightmare, Have Heart, Death Before Dishonor... I guess a fantasy release at this point would be some long lost / never release EP from Bad Brains or 7 Seconds.

Today I’d say the Edge is dull. I’d say its nothing more then a bath towel to keep the kids dry til they “grow up” and want to be more like everyone else. Would you say we’ve homogenized the edge to the point that the “rebel” factor has completely died out?

The Edge has gone through SO many waves of popularity. Early 90's, it's not cool to be Straight Edge. Mid-late 90's, it's cool to be Edge. Early 2000's, it's not cool to be Edge. Mid 2000's, it is. Late 2000's, seems like it's not as cool anymore. For the most part in hardcore, it has been safe and cool to claim Edge when you're a teenager and once you have the chance to legally drink and are onto college, peace. Pre-Straight Edge, if you didn't drink you were an alien. With the Edge, you're part of something punk and different and you can tell people "you just don't understand". I adopted the Edge in 1994 when I was 18 and have never second guessed it since. I don't want to contribute my money to those industries, and I don't want to become a statistic because of their use. I'm not saying anyone is wrong by not being Straight Edge, do what you want in your own life, but considering how many people die because of the tobacco and alcohol industries, and the drug trade, I decided that I didn't want anything to do with that. And that did not change when I turned 21, or when my friends all started breaking edge, and being Straight Edge in my life became more abnormal than "the norm". It just boils down to the fact that people are apathetic and just don't care, or they decide that facilitating their social lives is a worthy tradeoff for their health and well being.

I want you to name 5 bands that mean nothing to anyone the way they mean to you and why.

1. Suicidal Tendencies - as a teenage skateboarder - their s/t debut was mandatory.

2. Dead Kennedys - when I was in high school I took the train into NYC and bought "Give Me Convenience or Give Me Death", DK was a highly influential band to me. I picked this up because one of the guys in Slayer used to wear a DK shirt in magazines.

3. Sick Of It All - for me in the early 90's, SOIA was the band of legend. Their shows were crazy and violent and they were one of those bands that I had their first couple of albums, knew every word, and counted down the days to when they came through town.

4. American Nightmare - I saw this band come together first hand, had the opportunity to release their earlier material, and accompanied them on their first tours in New England, California and Europe. They were my friends, roommates, and their first records helped set off the momentum that carries through B9 to this day.

5. Champion - these guys released a bunch of records with B9, and I got to tour with them all over... There is a bond with the guys in this band that I don't reach with most bands, and I know I'll be friends with those guys for years.

At the end of the day when you’re sitting on your porch with your lemonade and your grandkids are asking about your life, what do you share with them about your time in hardcore?

I'd tell them about how hardcore instilled me with the DIY ethic. It showed me that if I wanted to see something happen, that I could just do it myself. Like I mentioned before - I did not go to school for business - but I ended up starting one anyway, and I've received a better business education and have actually applied what I've learned more effectively than a lot of MBA's that I've met. With this knowledge, I've been able to apply what I've learned to other business opportunities, so that I could profit elsewhere and not have to squeeze B9 for my paycheck. I'd also tell them about all the opportunities that I've had to travel. Hardcore is a unique subculture in the respect that a moderately known band, who have sold maybe a few thousand records (not even a blip on the mainstream music radar screen) can tour on multiple continents. Take a band like Champion - a band who sold maybe 10,000 copies of their album while they were touring - a TINY number in the grand scheme of distributed music - yet they were able to tour all over the U.S., Europe, Japan, South Korea, Australia - and multiple times. I don't know of any other subculture like that. I'd tell them about visiting Japan with Terror, Australia with Champion, and Europe with a few bands including American Nightmare, Champion and Slapshot.

What is the most fundamentally important aspect of hardcore that you see drifting away? How do we fix it?

I think that people need to have a better understanding of their history. Since hardcore punk is a culture - just like any culture, you need to know your history, how things got to the place that they're at. You don't need to know every band that ever was, but you should know all of the major ones. If you claim edge, you should be familiar with Minor Threat and Ian Mackaye. If you're a touring band, you should know Black Flag, they practically laid down the DIY touring network. If you like hardcore with a little metal crossover, you should know Agnostic Front and the Cro-Mags.

And now the counter to that, what is the latest element to hardcore that you find to be an insult to all you love and dear and when does it end?

Not so much hardcore - but the kids who appropriate their images from hardcore, but give nothing back. I went to school in VT and there were tons of kids who dreaded their hair, wore drug rugs and smoked weed all the time. But none of them were vegetarian (literally, none), they had no agenda whatsoever than to snowboard and get high in between classes. They stole the superficial hippy style but had no substance. I feel like that same thing is happening, but with hardcore.

Shows,news,notes and other nonsense...

2008-11-11T23:45:00.000-08:00

This Month I've received my 12 kg (just over 26 lbs) kettlebell and my Hatha Yoga book. Maybe I will find the physical exertion and body building regimen that will give me a more productive day. I am hoping the yoga works out a few kinks and gets me somewhere better physical and mentally.

I had a blast on Halloween, Yes I saw the show on History Channel. Email direct if you have questions - joehardcore@gmail.com. I am sure people saw it and have their opinions and I know I have mine. With that behind me I had a great time out til 530 am with the fellas. The following day H20 and Bane at the Church... man that was a blast. So necessary and perfect. Hanging out with Samantha is always a blessing. The first public viewing of the TIH dvd went over as I expected and I am back at the drawing board on that one.

I've been up to my neck in new shows, new venues and its about time. The Church is the best place on earth for a show but lately with the amount of poorly put together 4 to 5 band packages the best we can offer is 200 kids or so, which is still better then most areas but just not quite the packed event like H20-Bane. So luckily for us Sean and R5 has cleared the way for the first few all ages hardcore shows at the Barbary to take place. Smaller room, less overhead gives us more opportunity for more shows, more diversity and we can take some real risks now. I am excited.

How great is PA Hardcore right now? ....
the answer being Sooo great that Shockwave is playing Forward Hall in Erie,PA Sat Dec 27th and Wisdom In Chains is on it as well! To top it off Out To Win/Mushmouth are playing Croc Rock Jan 10th in Allentown and it will be a blast. Man the Wisdom dudes got alot of steam under them now with Philly and NYC dates with the CroMags as well as the big Shockwave show. I can't wait for their new record and I am sure the rest of you will agree it is already in the running for possible record of 09.

Expect me to branch out and do the CroMags (featuring John Joseph, Mackie, AJ -Leeway and Craig Sick Of It All) at the Broad Street Ministry. Its a great venue we broke the cherry on 6 months ago with the Hoods and Wisdom In Chains. Hopefully the shows there will get some more exposure as the place is awesome.

I will be routinely adding more info as to the shows I've got going on here so that way I can dissect and comment on them and I will start going more into detail about the goings on of 2009. Lets just say that the next 10 shows for me are going to be something special and I plan to get some momentum going to carry us into This Is Hardcore 2009 which is already lining up to be our best year yet. Everyone says it, but I've been at work on it for almost 3 months (since the Monday after the last) so I am hoping the extra months in will add to it.

This Sunday we will witness the 4 horsemen showdown at the Church.
Blacklisted has really been a band for almost 5 years now and you can see the ugliness dripping out of them. The years spent on the road and grueling with the paparazzi obsessed gossip bleeding hardcore scene has turned them into machines. This set will be a testament to all of that I just said and then some.
Ceremony is really one of the bands that everyone put on such a high pedestal that I worry they will drop. They are so vastly different then most bands out and popular these days, its necessary for them to stay at the forefront of the pack so that way we stave ourselves from being homogenized into following only one beat of the drum. I love them and can't wait to see what happens when they take the stage.
Have Heart have become the most important straight edge band today. Its a great thing to see their rise and I really hope that they continue to excel where others have fallen short. I will be hard pressed to not dive a few times during their set.
Let Down when all these bands are on tour with 20 guitar pedals on stage its awesome to see a scraggly 4 piece get up and just rock the fuck out. They pull no punches and provide no bells and whistles but rest assured they are one of the most dangerous bands in hardcore today.
the New Lows I am not informed on them as I've yet to see them live and can only go off of what others say and hope that they are everything and more.
Cut It Out Their name may not appear on the flyer but they undoubtedly will make a great entrance to this show and their first show at the Church. This band has done quite a bit and despite some outward complaining a year back about never being offered a set at the Church, I think the time is right for these guys to get out of the backwoods and show this scene what they are made of.

No matter who you're there for on Sunday its going to be nothing short of chaos, madness and that's just what we need at this point. Just make sure you don't miss out as this show will be talked about for years to come.

Until then, Peace...

Friday Dec 26
730 pm
$13 in advance/ $15 day of

CroMags
Death Threat
Wisdom in Chains
the mongoloids
Bad Seed

at the Broad Street Ministry

315 S Broad St (broad and spruce)
Philadelphia, PA
19107

email joehardcore@gmail.com for more info
www.r5productions.com for online tickets or deep sleep for tickets in person

*************************************************************
jan 4th At the Barbary

Reign Supreme
Trapped Under Ice
Full Blown Chaos
Dirty Money
Mindset
Layin Waste
www. r5productions. com joehardcore@gmail.com
************************************

Jan 11th at the Church

Terror
Maximum Penalty

www. r5productions. com joehardcore@gmail.com

******************************************
Feb 1st at the Barbary

Cold World
Internal Affairs
Brain Dead
Alpha Omega
Cruel Hand

************************************
March 1st at the Barbary
Blacklisted
Coliseum
Trap Them

This Blog is a Blessing, they want to make it a Curse.

2008-10-21T13:26:00.000-07:00

I was just informed that this Blog's contents have been subpoenaed in the agonizingly long 2 year Legal Battle to which my every day is haunted by. I've been waiting on news about whether or not "the big day" was happening tomorrow or if I would have to wait even longer still. Apparently they've decided to try to use this Blog to incriminate me and I am almost sad for them. This Blog has been a great soapbox,sounding board,waste disposal unit and most importantly an outlet to which I can experience carthartic release through writing. I've enjoyed the conversations in person with strangers or friends over topics discussed on here. I've really began to see that this blog is not only a place for me to place my emotions out on a string but somewhere where I can bring the best of what we have together and tune in the new generation in hopes that we can get some gears spinning in their heads that they didn't even know were possible. I am bummed that what I'd begun to finally find purpose to will now be stretched,contorted and juxtaposed in a way to possibly be a nail in my coffin.

I will still write and continue what I started, but its hard to look at this interface without feeling like its been soiled by the rotten injustice system thats had its coil around my neck for far too long now.

The Truth Hurts. Part One Continued...

2008-10-17T15:08:00.000-07:00

PART ONE (continued)

George : The Guy in Blacklisted.

I am really having a difficult time trying to introduce such a person to everyone. He is truly a legend in the making. For such a young age to live as he lived and did what he did is pretty incredible. His insight and vulnerability really shows in these answers. I asked George to be a part of this discussion because I honestly value his opinion beyond most. There was a time when I would make tapes for him to rock out too, and maybe we would enjoy them in my busted white camaro on death rides throughout the knowne world of Philly. I can’t think of what my life or hardcore could would have been like without his presence. His words and actions stand for themselves and this passage is inspiring and exactly what this 50 days and following discussion was meant for.

There seems to be a void in sincerity and concentration in Hardcore if you ask me. I'd like to hear what you'd like to see kids focus on? Where is there too much focus these days?

It seems to be that people within this genre of music struggle with their social identity now more than ever. It seems to be making people in the scene just latch on to the latest thing and trying to ride the wave and remain faceless so they can eventually feel some quick and easy form of acceptance. Which, when/if they get it, they will just abuse and take advantage of. Its sad. If you take a look through out hardcores history, these people were outcasts, they were confused, angry, and didnt fit in so they created their own outlets, their own concerts, their own bands, their own art work, their own record labels to put out their own albums and friends albums. Its was and still can be a very radical thing. I wish more emphasis would be placed on that aspect of this community and more people would stand up and be proud of the ability this community has for change, and what it has done for me and countless others. Acceptance comes through the understanding of oneself. If you are searching for it, but the only true effort you are making to find it begins and ends with just riding a wave and blending in, you are not going to find it. More than likely you are going to blow right by it and not even recognize it time and time again. Because that acceptance must first come from inside of you. Be comfortable in your own skin.

Most people when asked the question on what there is too much focus on, automatically go with "Fashion". Id just like to counter that a little bit. When I first got into hardcore (Which was not so long ago, Only the mid 90s) I could walk down South Street or anywhere in downtown Philadelphia and recognize other hardcore kids, I could tell them apart from everyone else by the way they dressed, bottom line, and it gave me a great comfort, a feeling of community, that aspect to me had a very tribal vibe to it and it was exciting. From there I would recognize them at shows and we would build relationships. Not that all of them dressed the same, but their was an individual yet recognizable style to it, especially to a 13-14 year old kid like I was. Just like in the early 80s there was a certain style. If you look through out Hardcore/Punk culture the fashion element is right there. People constantly blast it as a problem in hardcore but the truth of the matter is anything in life is fashion oriented, there is no way to escape it. Everything from the guy decked out in the latest designer gear to the one with a bone through his nose and wearing a dress. Anytime a human being gets up in the morning and makes a decision on what to put on, they are playing a fashionable role in society. However there is a difference in being fashionable for yourself versus being fashionable to fit in. I think more emphasis should be put on doing it for yourself. Wearing what you want to wear because it is what you feel comfortable in and how you express yourself. But that is just common sense.

I believe more emphasis should be put on younger kids. The whole "Each one teach one" vibe. If you are only involved in hardcore to climb some social ladder, sleep with unbalanced/confused people or to try to make some monetary gain, young kids are going to see that and think it is ok and do it themselves. Whether they stick with doing that is up to them at the price of their own free will, but everyone is impressionable one time or another. Letting that happen further removes this community from the basic fundamentals and destroys the capabilities it possesses.

Lastly I think more emphasis should be placed on the way people with in the scene get treated/treat each other. Whether it be directly or indirectly. I will call this the trilogy. Countless times I have been on tour and have heard people use words like "Faggot", "Nigger" etc etc, with little to no understanding of the weight some of those words hold. "Faggot" and "Nigger" are so blatantly obvious on why NOT to use them and the fact that I even have to explain that disturbs me greatly and makes me wonder why some people are even part of this community. Homophophia and Racism are obviously two things that can NOT be tolerated, its that simple. The third of this trilogy is the way we treat women. Is it necessary to call them sluts, cunts, bitches and whores? Do you have a mother? A sister? Do you struggle with your masculinity and self that much that you have to degrade a woman to make yourself feel good? It is 2008, I mean really? We have an African american leading the polls as our future President. Even if he loses, We will have a female Vice President, second in command in leading our country. A human is a human, No matter what their sexual preference may be, the color of their skin or gender. I think the sooner people in this community realize that, the better off we will all be.

The line that hits home for me from you has always been, "I've put my life on a shelf while everyone else around has found happiness and wealth". Is there a point where you will decide that this shelved life will need to be unearthed from the years of dust? Could your happiness be found outside of what you're doing right now? Could your wealth metaphorically be your experience in what you're doing today?

I go back and forth daily. I am 26 years old. All of my belongings are in boxes in my ex girlfriends living room while I tour. The truth is, I dont know how to find happiness. Personally, I have never been a particularly happy person. But I would like to be/find it. I want a job. I want normalcy. I question if that will bring me what it is I need to be happy. Ive spent far too long living outside the grid and traveling. Blacklisted is not a big band. We barely manage. It always comes back to the issue of "Experience". Something I have learned with that is, all of the experience I have found in blacklisted, whether it be meeting new people, traveling places, Europe, Japan, Australia, etc etc. That experience and $ 1.50 could barely get me a cup of coffee in any major city. The point is this, Ive traveled to places that my financial upbringing would never afford me. And for that I am lucky. That is about all I have. I have traveled/toured so heavily, I lost most of my friends I had at home, varying from them finding families to them just writing me off as thinking I am better than everyone because now I am "worldly". There were two worlds I was familiar with throughout my life. The first was my relationship with loved ones. The second was hardcore. Somehow hardcore/blacklisted has managed to ween itself in as the major thing in my life and it pushed out a lot of the first. In a way that has made me out of touch, like a man without a country, I am still as confused as ever. If that makes sense.

As time moves on certain customs of our culture are dying out. Which custom would you like to see get a rebirth in 09? If only for aesthetics, what do you miss most of all when you walk up to a show to when the first note of the first band hits?

Im not sure if it is a rebirth of customs I would want to see. I want to see people get involved. Get educated. Its easy to say "Yea I love hardcore." Then list bad brains/black flag/cro mags as bands you listen to. It is easy to say you love those bands. So did the hundreds of kids that would go see them when they played. The key thing I miss ties in with that. "Why" do "you" love those bands? That is what I miss, people knowing "Why" they are involved and why they love the things in this community that they do. Be proud of who you are and the things you care about. I dont see that as much anymore. Be well versed in the things you take pride in.

Honestly are there days where you wonder why you get on stage? As if these kids are just there for the moment or do you have a purpose to driving yourself 3 feet into the dirt each year so you can be out in front of the world the way that you are?

Recently there have been many days why I wonder why I get on stage and I hate myself for it. I feel like a complete failure. I wonder if when I am done in blacklisted will I ever go to another hardcore show again. Ive felt the feelings of everything I have always hated about the fraudulent factor of hardcore. I never wanted to be put in the position of feeling like that but the fact is, I am a human. There is good and bad. The spell Ive been involved in recently however only feels bad. Many people will just write this off and say "then dont fucking do it anymore", but it is not that simple for me. I have a lot of regrets regarding blacklisted. I dont know if I spoke up as much as I should have. Lyrically I dont know if I said anything important to others. I wrote about myself. It was a very selfish process. I wish I would have been more selfless with it, addressing issues that were important to me and in turn helping others, instead of addressing George Hirsch solely as a person. I wasted years writing records about my personal life, exercising my own demons and I am not sure if it helped anyone, myself included. I often regret putting myself out there in front of the world, even on the small scale that I have. I never wanted to be "known" or talked about and everything else that comes with fronting a band, but I made my decision. Hopefully through everything I have done some people have felt better about themselves and their lives, that is all I can really ask/hope for.

Today I'd say the Edge is dull. I'd say its nothing more then a bath towel to keep the kids dry til they "grow up" and want to be more like everyone else. Would you say we've homogenized the edge to the point that the "rebel" factor has completely died out?

Straight Edge is a tricky part of this community. Every era of it holds a different weight and ideal. Ian Mackayes edge, Ray and Porcells edge, Karl from Earth Crisis's edge... Etc Etc. As tricky as finding your place in straight edge may seem when looking back on the past. It is actually simple. Straight Edge is a choice you make for yourself. No more no less. You do what you feel is right and what makes you feel comfortable. As long as that is in mind and the main reason for doing it, it will never die out. And if it is your choice to stop being straight edge, so be it. Its all choice that is the key word. I think people put too much emphasis on the edge as a label put on a group of people, when in reality it is a personal decision.

I want you to name 5 bands that mean nothing to anyone the way they mean to you and why.

Music means different things to everybody for different reasons. Any band I listen to I listen to with my own purposes. I have my own feelings towards the music, lyrics, artwork. That all weighs in on the band. With that said I couldnt just pick 5.

At the end of the day when you're sitting on your porch with your lemonade and your grandkids are asking about your life, what do you share with them about your time in hardcore?

I hope I share with them, not my "time" in hardcore, but the things I have learned while involved in hardcore. Morals, Ethics, Ideals, Etc Etc. Things that will help them become better people. Things that will help them question aspects of life in order to make their lives more happy and suitable/comfortable for them. Hopefully they can build on that and be a better people than me, a happier person than me, a more loving person than me. Hopefully that will make the small dent they put in the world a better place.

I need the roster of the super hardcore band. Give them a name and tell me what they would sound like?

My super hardcore band is simple, It would be Madball via "Set it Off" era, But with their current drummer/ Ex Cro Mags & Bad Brains drummer Mackie Jayson playing drums instead of Will Shepler(Though he is great on that record.) Arguably that band that era with Mackie could be the best band ever.

What is the most fundamentally important aspect of hardcore that you see drifting away? How do we fix it?

Speaking up. Saying what you feel/what is on YOUR mind. So many times as a community we stand by and dont get involved or take action in what we feel is right. I think that needs to be fixed. You need to let others know where you stand and why it is you stand there. Im not talking about going on a message board and saying "this band sucks", That means nothing. That is weak. Im talking about standing on your own to feet and letting people know who you are, why you feel the way you feel. Being angry and trying to fix things.There is a strength in standing strong. There is an individuality to it, a sense of pride. I just wish more people would stand up and get involved.

And now the counter to that, what is the latest element to hardcore that you find to be an insult to all you love and dear and when does it end?

I find message boards/the internet as a whole to be an insult on hardcore. I miss the chase of hardcore. Finding records that were hard to find and listening to them front to back, reading the liner notes etc etc. Now you download something and it is so expendable you listen to a few songs and delete it, There is no heart in it. You immediately write it off. It doesnt even have time to develop in your mind and heart and you are already on some message board, giving heartless reasons as to why it is not good and why the band sucks and the people in the band are any slew of names you can make up on the spot. Its pathetic. Hardcore is not some expendable thing. Music period is not some expendable thing you just use up and throw away. Music in its purest form has the power to change, to make people feel different emotions, ranging from Love to hate and everything in between, Its a powerful thing. To treat it as some throw away thing like you would a napkin or old newspaper just shows how hollow some people are.

This Pic was supplied to me by George himself so he didn't get the Tim Borror Treatment. I am thankful for that. I don't have a backstory to this pic and I like it that way.

Dissecting the Great Minds of Our Time aka PART ONE.. the discussion

2008-10-16T20:26:00.000-07:00

When I think of a pioneer of what has become a standard in our scene today, I think of Tim Borror. It was through his diligence and perseverance that allowed a lot of bands who influenced the generations before this one to continue to not only play in proper venues but be accepted on good tours and treated like other bands in other genres of the music industry. He is responsible for so many great tours that it’s a bother to list them off. Needless to say at one point or another he’s booked the last 5 of your favorite bands. In fact aside from all this muckity muck about his hardcore accolades, I find it most important that he is the one man who could bring Demons and Wizards to the United States… :P
In all seriousness, I am proud and honored to call Tim a friend. He has an encyclopedic mind of all things hardcore, yet he is still a razor sharp business man that is legitimately the only guy I know who skates so close to the Dark Side but is still at heart a Jedi. Without his patience and willingness to lend an ear, I know I would be quite a few steps behind still, he is a mentor in many ways and has schooled the likes of Robby Redcheeks all the while still being able to be a bad influence to a whole new generation of kids.
His Interview in PART ONE is the beginning of a lengthy discussion series I will be posting on the blog in regards to my treatise “50 Days…” Its time to engage people, who have lived, loved, lost, worked, fought and nearly died for the core. Its time to procure from these tomes of hardcore knowledge some things discussed in “50 days” and ultimately try to use their words as a reference to what is possibly “missing” from today’s hardcore. I don’t know if that is the true depth of what I want to do with these discussions but for now lets run with that philosophy and I will keep posting interviews as they come in.

There seems to be a void in sincerity and concentration in Hardcore if you ask me.
I’d like to hear what you’d like to see kids focus on?

Real music. Music from the heart, music that is different than what’s been played 5 million times before and only re-done by kids copying something that’s already been watered down by the millions of bands that did it before them. Where are new bands breaking trends and starting new ones or being so good that no one can even jump on their band wagon? Into Another, Burn, Quicksand. There hasn’t been a revolution in hardcore like that era since. Even if its a familiar style play it from the heart. Bands that I love and still listen to like the Cro-Mags, Sick of It All, Madball, Terror, Judge, H2O and others while, they may not have been so original musically, they played with such heart and wrote music from their soul that it was original in its own right. I’m not saying there aren’t any bands out there like that today, I just wish they where getting more credit so they’d be more widely paid attention to. The only bands I hear about are myspace buzz bands with no dirt on them that are being developed out of current trends and not from bending rules.

Where is there too much focus these days?
Fashion.

What made you start booking bands?

It was an accident and I figured out that I was good at it. I needed a job, didn’t want to operate in any world other than music. Someone gave me a band, a desk and phone and said book a tour. From there some of my friends in real bands asked me to book them – Vision, Killing Time, Sheer Terror and they introduced me to other bands and pretty soon people knew me as a booking agent.

Do you still have the same motivation to do it now as it was then?

I’m a lucky motherfucker. I get to do the one thing that I’ve loved the most since I was 13 years old. I go to shows and make a living to care for my family from doing so. I’m just as motivated but different things about it motivate me. I like finding new challenges and I love discovering new music that is head and shoulders beyond what the competition is. After 27 years of going to shows every week its all harder but its still great when it works.

Who in your eyes is the #1 band you ever booked and why? Who was the worst?

At any given point I’ve loved and hated everyone of them. I don’t know how to give a good answer to this. The only bands I’d say are the worst are the ones I can’t remember. I’ve had to much fun with most of the rest to really say one was better than another.

Could you ever see yourself truly being happy doing something else?

Fuck yeah. This job is a grind. Its one of those jobs where everything feels like its the most important thing in the world and everything is now now now. Its stressful and 24/7. I’d rather own a fishing pier or a bar. I’m glad I have this career and I’m not giving it up but its not real life sometime and its hard on a person more than you’d think.

Is there ever a time where you feel like a “fan” and not a mover/shaker?

I feel like a fan all the time. I love music and I love what music can do to people in audience watching a great band and that electricity that goes on. That’s a main reason I’ve never let go of this job. I’d rather be a guy standing in the crowd watching the crowd and the band than the guy talking to promoter about who sells the most tickets.

As time moves on certain customs of our culture are dying out. Which custom would you like to see get a rebirth in 09?

Here’s a tricky answer. I miss the threat of violence and fear. Its tricky because I don’t like hearing that kids get beat up at these shows. That sucks and what is so life changing at a hardcore show that kids need to get beat up, its fucking stupid. That said, I lived more than my share of that culture and lifestyle and there is something that is so great about the adrenaline you can feel at a show when that feeling is in the air. I miss small clubs with good PA’s and stage dives. In 2008 there aren’t any good little dive clubs anymore. Every other place that is around for the most part is to concerned with liability. There are so many reasons why what I grew up in with music will never have a chance to exist anymore. Most of what I miss I see in some kids now and what I miss has mostly only to do with the fact that I’m older now and can’t hang with my friends 5 out of 7 days a week.

If only for aesthetics, what do you miss most of all when you walk up to a show to when the first note of the first band hits?

Anarchy. I miss show anarchy.

I want you to name 5 bands that mean nothing to anyone the way they mean to you and why.

Into Another, Throne of Corruption, Beyond Control, Warzone and Verbal Assault. 3 of those 5 bands are just awesome.

Into Another is one of the most underrated band from any genre’s of music.

Warzone – legit street music.

Verbal Assualt has a record called Trial which I’ve listened to probably more than any other record ever made rivaled only by the cro-mags, murphy’s law, leeway and the bad brains.

Throne of Corruption and Beyond Control – talk about bands that mean something only to me... That was my band and my friends bands, my crew in general. The bands probably sucked but great fucking times where had

At the end of the day when you’re sitting on your porch with your lemonade and your grand kids are asking about your life, what do you share with them about your time in hardcore?

Kids will never see what I saw. Show anarchy is no joke. Going to the troc when you wouldn’t necessarily get thrown out for fighting with the bouncers. Stage diving was an all show every song sport. I’ll also remember the nazi’s. That was no joke either especially in Pennsylvania. You went to a show in the late 80’s and early 90’s, you where going to see some legit Nazi Skinheads. In fact, while I hate racism and nazi skinheads or hate for anyone for any generic reason like race or sexual preference or any stupid reason like that, I miss skinhead culture – somebody bring that shit back! This is a question I could go on for days with answers on. I’ve got a million stories that feel like only me and my friends lived. The great thing about hardcore back then was that there where 1000 other packs of friends who had similar stories too.

I need the roster of the super hardcore band. Give them a name and tell me what they would sound like.

The band would be called GO FUCK YOURSELF! I don’t sweat anyone from bands enough to know who would be in the band but hopefully its some negative dudes with a positive message about living outside the lines. Maybe John Joseph and Freddy Madball could be in this band.

What is the most fundamentally important aspect of hardcore that you see drifting away? How do we fix it?

I was always the kid who cared to much about other people and thought everything could be fixed that was wrong in the world. Hardcore was about screaming for change. Change outside the world but what I really got out of it was change within yourself. I was a total fucking asshole when I was a kid, a lot of what I am today is still a total asshole and hell raiser. On the other hand I’ve got a great family and I’ve pushed myself to be something in life and I’ve accomplished a lot. Even still every day I want to push myself further and I remind myself to try and be a better person and less of an asshole. I remind myself that I was the kid who cared about everything that was wrong with the world and I urge myself to get back in touch with that person and be about making change outside of my own world too. I picked that up from my parents and how I was raised in the beginning but hardcore took over from there and I credit a lot of who I am from that kind of ethic. Scream for change and I hope its not something that hardcore has taking its eye off of. If it is, I don’t know how it can be fixed but bring back skinheads, straight edge kids with x’s on their hands and the hare krisna movement. Bring some culture into the music beyond the fashion and uniformed haircuts and tight pants some of these kids wear now.

And now the counter to that, what is the latest element to hardcore that you find to be an insult to all you love and dear and when does it end?

There is no way to answer this question without it making me sound old. I think the the thing that bums me out the most is that kids seem to start bands now with the reality in mind that they think they will get big as a band. What happened to just starting a band to hang with your friends and to yell about some shit? Your band sucks and you won’t get big, try enjoying each others company and hang out. I really do hate that about bands now. Everyone has the music business figured out or at least they think they do and its allowing for everything to be so watered down. I’m insulted by that for sure.

You were instrumental in many great tours which lead to so many people seeing bands that would have otherwise stayed unnoticed. What tours are you most proud of being associated in creating and what bands do you pat yourself on the back for helping and why?

I wouldn’t pin this on any one moment. I have very proud moments about being involved with music every month and I have since I was a kid. I love discovering the music and then helping that music get discovered on a broader level.

This is the pic that comes up when you google image search Tim Borror. It does not do my friend's devilishly handsome good looks and statuesque physique justice. I can only say that its the best I can come up with right now. So in advance- Sorry Tim...

50 days of Contemplating the infestation.

2008-10-13T18:38:00.000-07:00

As I am now working on more shows in the area, I’ve officially come to the conclusion that things in hardcore are at an all time low in many key places that are aesthetically pleasing and others which are fundamental to the strength and sanctity of our scene.
This new world of ours has been overrun with a locust mentality. They swarm and infest each sector of our shows. They don’t have the time to take in all the warm aesthetics and old traditions. They gorge themselves on what is most accessible and move along in packs to the next available source of food. There we are stuck ravaged and barren.
It’s a beautiful somber analogy and one I am fully prepared to back up in this entry.
I’ve come to see many of these bands as people who in their lust for popularity chose to get in front of a crowd of their peers and put on a show in hopes of gaining that star status that we never really were supposed to have in our lil world of “kids are the bands, bands are the kids”. There are far too many bands that take good hardcore kids out of the scene and turn them into overnight scene celebs. I watch them go from eager and hungry 1 year til showing up with their obligatory accessory girlfriend in tow, more then likely in time to just play their set and suck the dick of only those will help them to the next level. It’s a game that will lead to dead hopes and burnout and the inevitable end of an otherwise promising hardcore kid’s ‘hardcore’ life. This is a story being played every day in a scene in every nook and cranny on this planet. We were the underground where what matters most was involvement in a community where there was an honest exchange of ideas throughout the culture. For better or worse there was something to be said for the diversity in its simple ability to make so many in a room so close you had no choice but to accept the person next to you as your peer.
These things have been replaced by a homogenized youth wearing all the same uniform, all so carefree in their mainstream diseased ideals about how things really are and how our scene is not a bastion of hope for alternative ideas but the dumping ground of their immature grasp for something more then their cul-de-sac grown life has given thus far. I am not here to give you stories about when things were real; I am not here to be the sketchy guy that you have no relation to. Its sad to see a room of full of kids who went the lights go out and the bands goes on, they don’t go off, they text people who aren’t at the show throughout the set. Its so foreign to watch people in the midst of what was once an outlet of aggression turn into a sequence of events that seem almost choreographed and so neatly organized it has none of the energy and chaos that made each show so unreal and alive. There is only death of anarchy and inspired aggression and the sound of emptiness in the heart of each song these days. Songs about things that mean nothing to the people on stage, sung by an insecure guy who wants to be loved for reasons he can’t explain. The silly things they say, that they wear, that they associate and integrate into our world. It’s a wonder there is anything left when they take their 2 years and move onto something fruitless like Doom metal or just being a “bar” person. It’s a wonder what attracts them in the first place.
When I came to hardcore I was disillusioned, super aggressive and an angry long hair. Hardcore gave me what I needed to be balanced in my unstable quest for temporary stability. I had a place that accepted me under that umbrella and showed me a world that is malleable and ready for anyone who is willing to fight and persevere, the chance to place their hands upon it and mold it into what they think the core should be. It’s that same amazing parameter that allows these new kids to come in and fuck the old ways up. It’s theirs now, but what are they leaving us with when their ADHD wears out and they’ve found something else to waste their time and money on?
I think of these locusts the most when I watch the actions of their bands. They come out of nowhere and onto myspace. Within a year they’ve already done a Europe tour before they can actually draw a good crowd in their hometown. They jump into full time status so they can break up after realizing 6 months of touring for $150 a night at most is not the big life they dreamed of. They are no longer seen or heard from. What they leave in wake is a thousand kids pretending like they actually cared about the band or its insipid words somehow made a profound difference in their lives. It’s all so contrived and played out, I know the words sound more like a madlib filled out then from their own mouths.
5 years ago Punishment who had sold X amount of records, done plenty of U.S tours were turned down for opening for 100 Demons who asked Avocado Booking to bring us over. They said we weren’t big enough. Avocado is now the number one culprit of bringing these untried bands over to Europe tours and JUICING them of whatever cash they can from these hype machines. Selling them a world of bullshit and providing them nothing but financial headache. Its an interesting change in business practice by them, and it only hurts the bands who are out there hoping to continue their reign of success (terror? :P) only to be fiscally screwed to near bankruptcy. I find it so unrealistic for someone to ever “build” their bands up the way that we had to. Sure there is unsure moments when we do something that we may feel not up to but we never were as green as some of these bands are today. This GPS world has left everyone with a laptop and google maps and no way to figure things out if they go wrong.
I could write 10 blog entries a day about how we used to get the address for shows from flyers and just FIND the place by the process of elimination. Get a map and make it fucking happen. There are many things that are gone from the world of bands of yesterday due to the LOCUST/EXPRESS system today. Every band has a merch selection that rivals large touring acts. Everyone has merch printed by credit. Its so unlike the way things used to be. Bands printing demos by hand, spreading the word not by myspace but by going to other shows and NETWORKING, like making actual friendships. There was so much more human interaction that I am not surprised that there is just silence between songs these days. There is no one really friends at these shows now. I can tell you that have such an overwhelming respect for people today, who at the time in which we were both going to shows we had nothing but that in common. There is a bond of a familiar face, one who’s seen what I seen, been where I been. Yet I love the new kids energy but they have this ability to approach what they don’t know with disdain and fear and almost indignation.
In our new computer driven- knowledge-at our fingertips world, these kids can’t fuck with the notion that there is shit out there they haven’t heard of, don’t know about or can’t comprehend. So they are apprehensive and disrespectful (in my opinion) it’s why they never bother looking passed their own hands for something. They don’t want invest the time, the energy, the love like we did. The idea being that because their interaction has been automated by credit card purchases online, Itunes and massive filesharing that they know what they need to know, but they haven’t crafted that weird obsession because it’s a just click away and two seconds to turn off and move on. Its not hours spent with your eyes peeled to the band names in the tape bin hoping to see something familiar or something you’ve heard of while you thumb records between bands at the distro table. That small piece of the missing hardcore aesthetic is the reason why I have the walls of the floor lined with tables from the best labels at This Is Hardcore Fest. So the curious can partake in something that I view as crucial to the hardcore experience can still live on in this generation. Maybe some of these kids who never did it before or who rarely have the chance to touch the music they have on their ipods will be ignited to do more then walk away when the rest of their friends do in 2 years.

It’s a shame really. I’ve spent a lot of this blog downing the new generation but its only because I see that they have not caught on, they’ve ran so fast over everything its like they’ve skipped reading the hardcore books I have and just downloaded the cliff notes in PDF. It’s a world of difference yet the parallels remain if you look hard enough. The generations before them may have invested more time and effort but that has only shown that for all the interaction something made them leave. I can’t speak for them because I am still here. I want to be able to awake a piece of what made us want this more, what interaction we had developed the will to push harder then our peers, to outshine our contemporaries, to not be satisfied with our interaction so we went deeper and took on more responsibility in each kid I see at the shows today.

In my life I’ve lived a bipolar existence with hardcore, from fighting at some venues and helping others, to booking shows and helping bands on tour. It was a sick duality that pressured me on all ends. God bless being 18 and not knowing how silly I must have looked. But it weathered me for the storm of 2004 when as I took on the shroud of FSU I began to promote as hard as ever. I will eternally give props to Sean Agnew and R5 productions for allowing me to do so. Since then I’ve developed a keen sense of what is most important to the success of our scene, and I’ve dropped many a bad habit. Its hard to maintain order if you live in disorder. Its been through these years that I’ve learned the new kids faces and names, how I watched their bands go from suck and then work their way up into acts that make me proud of our scene. I give it up to Guns Up! for being one of the only bands at the time that I ever got a chance to like before I was friends with them, their music energized me at a time where although my interaction with the core was constant a lot of the new stuff was bouncing off of me. Guns Up was one of the new bands that had me out of the corner and onto the floor for them. Others came but nothing amounted to that first burst of joy the way they had. Everything else up til then was known to me because I was friends with the band and they already ruled. It was good to stand with my fellow hardcore kid and sing along and dance and be reminded of my first church shows. It's one of these weird moments that only hardcore can grant you. You’re 25 and back to thinking of that first time you’ve done something and its because of 5 strangers to you on stage playing music that energizes you to a point where you will react as if you were still 17. Its such a glorious revival.

Back to the hate now… ha.
I can only hope that we have a better future then the present. With our new bands on a constant tour rotation they may never truly develop and build themselves up the way it used to be. By the LP stage these bands have toured so much its not long before the 2nd Lp is recorded and the band breaks up. Its hard to imagine a bunch of early to mid 20’s kids giving up on something at what seems like the rise of their star because of the stress and burden. It comes from eating too much like the gorging locusts that they are. Disenfranchised with the idea of weekend trips and region touring they want the world to fall to their knees within the instant they arrive on the scene. The take no prisoners style touring has fallen to the wayside in the heap of the hordes of Johnny-Come-Lately tour booking agents who all have classy myspace pages and about 6 months at tour experience at most yet are boasting with 20 something bands on each of their rosters. We’ve got more quantity then we ever had quality. It’s a fucked up situation where a band tours for 30 days and 6 are really good shows and the rest are duds or barely breaking even. Yet we still play the game as attendee, promoter, band and booker. It’s a poorly executed dance that screams of going through the motion. Is it avarice? Is it pride that pushes all through it again and again?

I can say that I turn down 5 tours for every 1 show I do. I see now that there are more promoters in the area trying to get their teeth in what we choose not to do. Their venues are weaker; their rep is smaller yet the bands will still come. The kids may even come for a time and as long as the cycle is still spinning we’re all happy but no one is really being served. This is too drawn out; it’s too by the numbers. You could replace any name of anyone involved and the outcome is similar. We’ve been cloned as I’ve come to associate it with. ATTACK OF THE CLONE CORE. More kids with nothing to say, 15 passenger vans full of electronics I can’t afford and a brand spankin new trailer with their parents well invested cash in equipment in tow. Crisscrossing all the small towns, looting and pillaging where they can. Leaving nothing for these kids to go home to worth thinking about. Its all for the moment, for the advancement of their egos and at the cost of all the ideals we had and promise this scene once had for each of us. Intentions are as rotten as the disdain for any remark that places what they’re doing as insincere or contrived. It’s a sad world of locusts feeding off of anything they can. What they leave must be burned so we can plant again.
I shall spend the next few passages talking with friends and hoping to get some of your cobwebs clear so the wheels get in motion. We need a revolution of ideas, a contemplation of our present actions and what we can invest to strengthen our world before its depleted and fit only to be blackened with fire. It’s a world I am dedicated to salvaging, if for nothing else because it gave me freedom from what I was born into, it released my demons and set my feet to a course that was unknown to most of my Frankford contemporaries. My goal is enlighten and awaken the best in each of the kids who read this and want more then the shallow surface interaction. The wasted moment of showing up only to talk through a bands set outside. The cowardice act of confrontation after a show online. It’s all pathetic and a plague that I will fuckin cut it out of each of you if I have to.

Appreciation.

2008-08-30T15:16:00.000-07:00

There is only so much I can ever say without going too far from what I’d originally intended on focusing on. So much of what makes this Fest a success depends on the collective efforts of everyone that its impossible to thank everyone but there needs to be accolades spread amongst the masses so maybe that’s what this is about.
There is something to be said for 40 bands that spend up to six months planning out their year so they are on time and prepared for the fest so things work so perfectly… I can’t thank enough,each of the bands for not only doing their best up onstage but for taking the extra efforts to be on time, be prepared and able to lend a hand when needed. This fest wouldn’t work as efficiently if we had anything else but absolute cooperation and this year’s fest was a cakewalk because of their professional efforts in this regard. It should also be mentioned that I was so happy to see every band give 110% throughout the sets and for supporting the other bands. It’s these elements that push the quality of the sets over the top. Seeing guys who just played out on the floor or stage diving, grabbing the mic and joining in just continues the ethic of the bands are the kids, and the kids are the bands. It’s an important and often overlooked aesthetic that was in effect all weekend, which was quite pleasing to see.
On aesthetics, I must thank the companies who choose to spend their money and weekend sitting behind merch tables working like slaves for the masses of kids in attendance. “But Joe” you say…. “These people are working because they are making money being there”. I cannot dispute that they are working and that HOPEFULLY they are turning a profit for their weekend’s efforts. But they are but one small one cog in the works. They spend a minimal fee for the table space and have to get a van or rent one, find lodgings for the weekends and not included is the nasty cost of gas this summer. I am sure it wouldn’t be unheard of for some labels to not come back the following year just out of these added necessary expenses. But what they serve the works is more important then whether they profit or not. When we were younger searching for music was a physical effort. Sifting through boxes in barely together stores or merch tables across the coast was a big part of the time spent involved in hardcore. The excitement of not knowing what you would find and the hope that you would walk away with something awesome kept you coming back. In this regard online shopping and cd downloading has taken away the time necessary to find what you were looking for through diligent record “molesting” as a friend once called it. I am happy to have a piece of that back. There are times when I wish for things to be simpler and this is a chance to give this new generation a piece of what made the “ in between bands space” much more fun then sitting outside ending up in trouble. So thanks to the merchants who choose to sweat for their cash and serve the cause of reliving simpler days.
When we think of the fest the “given” is that they were will be kids there in droves and they will mosh to their hearts content. I would like to dispute the concept of the kids just being there. They are more then filler, they are more then a ticket total sold. They come from every corner of the world and they are sleeping in cars, living adventures and showing up 3 days straight to make the fest what it is. I could book every great band ever, have the best venue, perfect sound and if no one comes it will be for nothing. If the Bad Brains play TIH 2010 and the place is packed but no one makes a sound, moves an inch the set will be a failure. Its upon these kids to choose which bands will be remembered, which bands will be heralded and which bands will not make on the next year’s fest. There is something to be said for this fickle generation is that they show their appreciation just as easily as their dissatisfaction. I am glad we’ve keep the crowd on their toes and been able to provide for them a suitable venue, good sound, an excellent stage diving and bands that bring the reactions that we’ve gotten. I hope to always have the kids emailing and myspaceing us with the many thanks, appreciation and great stories about their times at the fest. It is that on Monday morning that made my day. Its what keeps me thinking about a fest that still has about 50 weeks before it happens again. I am forever indebted to make sure they will always be here and they will be motivated to change the course of the night from a decent set to a moment to be remembered into their 30’s.
I am never short on words or praise and the staff of R5 productions deserves a lion’s share of my love. They have outshined their previous efforts this year and I am so proud to see the newer guys getting more involved. I would to believe that next year we will have 100% stage dive participation from the many staffers we have but then again if they were stage diving all night I wouldn’t be able to applaud them would I?
I’ve never needed a partner more in a situation like this and its Sean Agnew at R5 that allows me to have this dream come to life each year. He is so humble but he is truly a big piece of the TIH puzzle and I thank him time and time again for allowing this to happen.
He is one of the most pure DIY promoters in the country and his intimate knowledge of all the inner workings has truly taught me a thing or two about the way to run this fest.
Robby Redcheeks has been an inspirational friend and supporter of my efforts since day one but he has really stepped up and cleaned the stage of the evil hardcore paparazzi that was plagued the view from the stage and keeping the bands from going off and giving the kids the show they paid for. He is not only one of the best in his craft but he is truly still living the hardcore kid life well into being a homeowner and responsible adult and that in itself is commendable.
I’ve been booking shows since I was a teenager yet by the time I was into my 20’s I was blessed with a silent partner whose diligence and eye for details have never truly been made public but were always vital to the success of my operations. This year with the cards stacked against me, Samantha Cox has stepped up and really not only given her time and effort but has picked up slack and has played a tremendous key role in sorting out the stuff that may have fallen through the cracks on a hectic day. I look forward to her future contributions to This Is Hardcore Fest.
In the next year you will see amazing things done with This Is Hardcore. “Juice” has started his work with the website and art for next year. Eulogy and FloatingBoyMedia are grinding things together now for the best possible outcome on the 2008 DVD. I am looking forward to its release in early 09.
Finally thanks to the unsung heroes like Jeremy from Jumpstart records for not only making gorgeous posters but for putting in extra work with the fest, helping where he could. Tom and John Hiltz for the excellent sound again, Joe at Red Planet Sound for the Back line, Chris Striegal for working the show for free just out of love/boredom/insanity. Wes (PIMP) for handling the security details with an amazing efficiency and cool professional approach. I cant thank you all enough and this is already probably too long winded.
Take care and I will see you in 09
www.thisishardcorefest.com

THIS IS HARDCORE FEST -TIMES

2008-08-18T14:23:00.000-07:00

******all times are subject to change.. on top of it expect these times to signify more about the order. we've had saturday night end 45 minutes early because we run shit the right way.... don't rely on these times completely as the day moves on we will be gaining time and running ahead of schedule or later... if there is a catastrophe )

FRIDAY
DOORS AT 5:15
1ST BAND – 6

$20 at the door for the day AT THE DOOR

OR PRESALE ONLINE
http://www. ticketweb. com/t3/sale/SaleEventDetail?dispatch=loadSelectionData&eventId=291310

$55 for the weekend (AVAILABLE AT THE DOOR FRIDAY OR PRESALE ONLINE)
http://www. ticketweb. com/t3/sale/SaleEventDetail?dispatch=loadSelectionData&eventId=275657

MADBALL
10:30

PAINT IT BLACK
9:30 - 10:15

100 DEMONS
8:50 - 9:20

JASTA
8:00 – 8:40

DEATHCYCLE
7:35 – 8:00

COLIN OF ARABIA
7:00 – 7:25

VIOLATION
6:30 – 6:55

MOTHER OF MERCY
6:00- 6:25

SATURDAY
DOORS 11:30 AM
1ST BAND 12PM

$20 AT THE DOOR OR PRESALE ONLINE
http://www. ticketweb. com/t3/sale/SaleEventDetail?dispatch=loadSelectionData&eventId=291311

COMEBACK KID
10:50

BLACKLISTED
10:00-10:40

COLDWORLD
9:20-9:50

LET DOWN
8:40-9:10

FAHRENHEIT 451
8:00-8:30

MAXIMUM PENALTY
7:20-7:50

ENSIGN
6:40-7:10

THE MONGOLOIDS
6:00-6:30

STRENGTH FOR A REASON
5:20-550

KILLING THE DREAM
4:40-5:10

REIGN SUPREME
4:05-4:30

KNOW THE SCORE
3:30 – 3:55

BRAIN DEAD
2:55 – 3:20

ALPHA & OMEGA
2:20 – 2:45

LIVING HELL
1:45 - 2:10

POVERTY BAY SAINTS
1:10 - 1:35

CONVICTED
12:35 –1:00

HOLLOWS
12:00 – 12:25

SUNDAY
DOORS 11:30 AM
1ST BAND 12PM

$20 AT THE DOOR OR PRESALE ONLINE
http://www. ticketweb. com/t3/sale/SaleEventDetail?dispatch=loadSelectionData&eventId=291312

TERROR
7:50

CEREMONY
7:10-7:40

VISION
6:25-7:00

DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR
5:45-6:15

DOWN TO NOTHING
5:05-5:35

WISDOM IN CHAINS
4:25-4:55

TRAPPED UNDER ICE
3:50-4:15

CHEAP TRAGEDIES
3:10-3:40

NO TURNING BACK
2:40-3:05

SOUL CONTROL
2:05-2:30

MY TURN TO WIN
1:30-1:55

HARD RESPONSE
12:55-1:20

LIGHTEN UP
12:30-12:45

ONE WIN CHOICE
12:00-12:20

At The Starlight Ballroom
460 North 9th Street (Just Below 9th & Spring Garden)
Philadelphia, PA
All Ages To Enter / 21+ To Drink

WWW.MYSPACE.COM/THISISHARDCOREFEST
http://www.facebook.com/pages/This-Is-Hardcore/25561306282
WWW.R5PRODUCTIONS.COM

***CASH ONLY For Three Day Passes & Day Show Tix At Our New Box Office at Deep Sleep (54 N 3rd St / 3rd & Arch Streets philadelphia, PA)
Or Call 1-866-468-7619 (toll free)

Movement

2008-08-14T19:04:00.000-07:00

I finally feel like I’m on the go, on the move, headed somewhere far from where I stood too long. The leg aches and the sun’s heat may sting but I am so set on not being here when this storm is over.
I can’t believe I meandered so long on things without the ability to see I was running myself in circles corkscrewing further down the planes of Hell. Like I stood for 5 years running down a staircase towards everything I would eventually come to want to overcome. I want to look myself in the mirror and be happy with the reflection. I want to be able to laud over my accomplishments.
So much of this lies on the surface, that I am actually terrified of the renovations in store. I’ve never been a shallow guy or someone who worries about my own appearance but as I creep towards 30, it’s time I get my ass looking half decent so I can get that woman that is going to stand behind me through thick and the thin. Its time to wave goodbye to the slacker appearance, ignorant mindset and depressing scenery.
Today I will take my bed and put it up on the 2nd floor. It’s a monumental task for me because I’ve dwelled here in the basement setting so long I almost don’t know what to do with a “room” bedroom. I’ve had 2 room bedrooms since I was 14 and Samantha reeks with each passing thought of them. So much of it was her touch, her sense (even at 18) of what looks better, feels better and will work better in the space. But I am tired of the sprawling mess and the feeling of a pack rat lifestyle. I’ve always had too many projects going at once, most of them ½ complete or stalled for lack of desire, direction or parts.
This will be me growing up now. In a big boy’s room, with function and purpose. Gone will be the boxes of nostalgia covered with graffiti. The smell of the basement apparently is something that I’ve grown used to but something that I will be happy to miss. I am hoping the room is as cool and cold as the basement but being practical I know already that it will be much hotter then I am accustomed to. It’s the small changes like this that I will need to take on to move myself onto the next square in this game of life. So much of my summer has been spent crunching numbers, on the cell phone, planning, making changes to plans etc. I will rejoice on the day where the debt is down and the plans are simple. The changes will be rare.
I would like to get to a point where things are so on the fly. There comes a time when I need to grow up and get on a schedule. I am a creature of the night, yet I work early morning. It makes for 3-hour sleep schedules that would cripple me in 5 years but for now my energy is peaking.
I am hoping I will find the career to jump into. The kind you go to school for at night, crunch your pennies for and ultimately sit back and smile once you’ve gotten to that point. I will need to get out of the trades. It’s an awesome lifestyle but one that often makes me questions my sanity. There comes a time when I do have to price out what I will do as I make more money then most college graduates and our pay isn’t even that great, it’s the benefits that make it worth it. I thought of getting into a different union where I will make $12 more an hour, but then I had a thought that if I just went to school for half a dozen years a night or less maybe I can stop having calloused hands and a 4 am wakeup to drive out to a strip mall where I will spend my day sweating my balls off looking at girls that will only date the guy in the job I didn’t have the sense at 16 to go to school for.
It sucks to watch all the lessons line up on one side of the line and see all your mistakes that have taught you those lessons on the other. If the two ran into each other like BraveHeart you would have a basic visualization of my brainwaves and current mental picture. I am so tired of seeing everything and like Homer going “Doh”. It just leaves me either on a path to prison tats and a wall of pain surrounded the dead ends to the feelings nerves or the rough road uphill out of the depths of Cocytus on to the next evolution of myself.
Maybe I am living in one big drawn out Inferno much like my beloved Dante. It would be too easy for me to walk through the hells of which I’ve possibly survived only to linger in purgatory like the guy waiting for the Up elevator in every office building in the country.
I’d like to believe that Samantha is my Beatrice and that absolution and purity of the mind will come from the trip but I’ve come to the realization, lost is a word I need to relearn. Lost is my chance to do something that has already happened. Lost is the innocence in her eyes. Lost is the easy road to a life of joy and harmony. Lost is the time spent on fruitless endeavors that have only me back to 5 spaces before the starting line.
Its time to walk forward and move with certainty, yet its ok to stop and ask for advice and direction. No longer can I just run through this life not knowing or caring about the outcome of my every step. I’ve squandered my Irish Luck and the misfortune is looming like a dark cloud on the opening day of a losing Franchise. Its time to get real and admit the failures, the pain I’ve caused and the time I wasted and learn that recycling through them endlessly will amount to nothing.
I need some real progress. I would love to see myself a year from now and know I’ve done right. It’s so eerie to be at this age and feel the fear of change in every thought. Could I be someone else? Can I have something better? What will happen if I do the right thing for a change? Its questions like this that keep me waking up on time for work and keep me coming home to a nice run and a quick shower afterwards. I can’t get bogged down anymore and sit and wait for the end mindset. Gone are also the FUCK THE WORLD, EAT SHIT-GO FUCK YOURSELF and the ever-popular CUT OFF YOUR NOSE TO DESPITE YOUR FACE game plans. Its time to make things better for me so I can be a man of real virtues one day. Not of half assed ideals or grand schemes. Its time for me to really have a balance in my life, in my head and in my heart.
The first steps have been taken. Back from War now and onto the culmination of my yearly work “This Is Hardcore”. Then its off to 12 months of brown bagging lunch, paying off debts, working out like a maniac and trying to improve on the few things I didn’t completely destroy. The promise of a new tomorrow and a better me is there but its always the realization that this hill is steeper then I thought and that results will not be evident for years to come.
These are the hardest steps. The land is rocky and the air is thick. I can’t make out a milestone and there is times I’d rather let go and just free fall to the ground and sink into the earth but I know whatever I am climbing towards will not happen with that bullshit copout crap. Its time to man up and do what’s really right for me, seek out my true potential and achieve it. Its not as easy as typing these words and posting them on a blog but the sheer notion that these are my own words and not someone else’s being echoed is the first signs of light in the dark tunnel I’ve dug for myself.
A new friend told me guys don’t start maturing until 28, and I felt good that I was on point with that. I can get bogged down in not knowing where I am supposed to be because I was without a true father and that wisdom and guidance but it must be something instilled in all men if it is as I’ve seen a lot of my friends hit this age and the changes they’ve made have gone from monumental to unthinkable.

Its great to have the idea that I’m onto something new for once with me. I’ve never focused on myself as much as I’ve done much to please myself. I’ve never cared about the material world or how I looked to the opposite sex or what I am eating or how strong I am. I just went out there and did it. Maybe I will never care but its time to start embracing these things and finding out if this teenaged angst rebellion shit is really all its cracked up to be or if my life resides in the ‘burbs rocking polo shirts and living the sweet life of a wifed up man with a life of responsibility.
The concept of the solitary bachelor has come to mind many times as I gaze into the prize and realize its not me she will ever want again. It’s time to realize that failure comes with a heavy toll. That toll is being dolled out in payments of stress, hope, exhaustion, and rinse, repeat. The life I am living for now is finally suited for me. I will gain all the benefits of all of my actions. Be it a ring on my finger or one day a Crown upon my brow, I will fucking achieve something more then what I’ve been limping towards if it means the complete shutdown of all emotional output for the duration of the mission at hand. I’ve come to terms with my shortcomings, and although the list is staggering, I feel with a tenacious positive attitude I will overcome and move away from them as time moves on. The time has come for a cleansing of the mind, body and spirit.
It’s a harder task than what I originally had in mind. Like a bad TV show about the demolition of a man to be rebuilt as a colossus of a person. I wish to strip out the bad so that way the dead, cancerous fibers are gone and the new reinforced cells were alive and uncontaminated. Is it possible? As possible as anything I’ve ever done good or bad. I’ve done things men shouldn’t, I’ve seen places my type never does. I’ve felt loves sweet embrace and hate’s bitter icy touch. It’s all out there waiting for me to shit and get off the pot.
I am there some days. Sitting on my porch reading and smiling, knowing the outcome was worth the blood, sweat and toil. I am content that I’ve lost the parts of my life that were unnecessary and those that I’ve grieved have forgiven or moved along. It’s the closest thing to heaven is to have a bit of redemption once the concept is conceived. It’s the beauty of these lessons I’ve learned. I chose the left hand path and it got me all up in a bind but fate has allowed me one last corridor out and I will climb, kick, scream, bite and punch my through all of obstacles to arrive at where I was supposed to be after all. It’s like taking the long scenic trip and then having to push the car ½ way through it, uphill in a sleet and ice storm to get to the beach. The beach is still lovely, the sun’s kiss warms your heart and the smell of the salt air zips through you like when you were a kid out on the first “family vacation”. Everything had been what you’d thought it would have. Its that rewarding sensation of already knowing how it will feel to get into that good place that will be the guiding light through the muck and mire and will brighten even the darkest of my days. I will get to that beach one way or the other and when I do I will be so fucking pleased, a seagull could come down and shit anywhere he like on me and I would be at peace knowing that I am alive and well and in a better place, bird shit or not.

THIS IS HARDCORE...LINEUP FINISHED.

2008-07-22T18:09:00.001-07:00

THIS IS HARDCORE -- WEEKEND PASSES

$55

friday August 22 - doors @ 530... 1st band at 6 (PROMPTLY)

MADBALL
PAINT IT BLACK
100 DEMONS
JASTA (featuring Jamey Jasta)
DEATH CYCLE
COLIN OF ARABIA
VIOLATION
MOTHER OF MERCY

$20 FOR THE NIGHT

saturday august 22 - doors @ 1130... 1st band at 12 (PROMPTLY)

COMEBACK KID
BLACKLISTED
COLD WORLD
LET DOWN
FAREHEIT 451
MAXIMUM PENALTY
ENSIGN
THE MONGOLOIDS
STRENGTH FOR A REASON
KILLING THE DREAM
REIGN SUPREME
KNOW THE SCORE
BRAIN DEAD
ALPHA & OMEGA
LIVING HELL
POVERTY BAY SAINTS
CONVICTED
KINGDOM

$20

sunday august 24 - doors @ 1130... 1st band at 12 (PROMPTLY)

TERROR
CEREMONY
VISION
DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR
DOWN TO NOTHING
WISDOM IN CHAINS
TRAPPED UNDER ICE
CHEAP TRAGEDIES
NO TURNING BACK
SOUL CONTROL
MY TURN TO WIN
HARD RESPONSE
LIGHTEN UP
ONE WIN CHOICE

$20 for the DAY

At The Starlight Ballroom
460 North 9th Street (Just Below 9th & Spring Garden)
Philadelphia, PA
All Ages To Enter / 21+ To Drink

WWW.MYSPACE.COM/THISISHARDCOREFEST
WWW.R5PRODUCTIONS.COM

***CASH ONLY For Three Day Passes & Day Show Tix At Our New Box Office at Deep Sleep (54 N 3rd St / 3rd & Arch Streets philadelphia, PA)
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The Words Fell Out of Her Mouth Wtth The Grace Of A Guillotine

2008-06-18T21:51:00.000-07:00

I’ve grasped the concept of the word Penance. I’ve learned of the heights to which I may soar beyond the clouds only to grasp and claw another mile forward. There is no goal in sight as it’s all in payback. My best efforts will receive no validation, no reward and no sense of satisfaction. Like the cup that you make drink your heart and belly’s content only to be thirsting evermore. It’s the new way I will take each breath and stir restless each night. To never hold in my hand the prize for all my toil. To know its warmth and its beauty but to only have the tingle of memory to keep me dazed and pushing forward. To know not the sweet taste of her lips or the sensual aesthetic of her silhouette undressed upon my bed. To always roll to a cold side of a bed too big for one, I will crawl through each day with her visage in every reflection tantalizing my heart and poisoning my mind.
I’ve failed to see the paths laid before me; I’ve turned away from the soundest of advice. I’ve chose the path least traveled, not out of courage or nobility but out of folly,immaturity and the true damnation of irony. I will never cease in this deed unless fate feels pity and stops me dead in my tracks or my foolishness leads my life to a merciful end. This is the new pain to which I will wear like scourged Christ bearing the cross before the curious crowd on his way to Golgotha.

To know you’ll never be number one in someone’s heart again or be the shoulder to lean upon and sob. To wake up each day wondering how your children have slept and if they’ll understand why their father disappeared into insanity. To choose to serve where you once lead. It’s a miraculous irony to open my eyes to what she once had months after she gave her last gasp of hope away to the arrogance and selfishness. To lie awake each night wondering if she wrote or if she’s lying in bed with another. To hope that each call coming in is from her and she’s en route ala ’03 and we’ve got that big kiss coming up.
These days will be for nothing as I’ve already lived as well as I could and chose to lie with devils and succubi. I will never be graced with heaven on earth and I will never have her back, yet I will push myself past my breaking point to pay for what I’ve done in a feeble attempt at regaining my self worth, my pride and in another life – her love again.

MOTIVES.

2008-06-08T21:58:00.000-07:00

I’ve been handed a lot of credit and some of it is applicable but for a good portion of it there is a lot to do with what I’ve brought up on here before but may have gone over people’s heads. I use the word penance in a title, I talk about chilling out all the fighting that was unnecessary and really trying to make things ultimately a better place for everyone to come and enjoy. I am happy to be recognized by my peers for my efforts but there is a lot to be said for making up for things in the past. I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve ruined someone’s day. Hence the slogan “We had fun, it’s a shame no one else did” as an entry title. The amount of work I put into the shows really only started to progress when I took an active role in cleaning up the messes I would personally make. Shows were that were NOT mine were always open season, venues good or bad were never thought of as commodities. Fighting for pride, for cool points, for a release took precedent. There were times when I could say that I wish I had ME then to choke me out.

But that wouldn’t have happened. We’ve always had a working “respect” for those poor souls who were charged with kicking us out. Robby Redcheeks always spoke highly of my ability to be told to leave and never give a fight or an argument. I can recall being asked to leave a show on many a night for punching someone and just asking to get my bag. It was a far cry from the days of the Troc with that sly silent smile Sloan would give me and then have me tossed for blasting someone for god only knows what. I really liked the era when my friends became the bouncers at the TLA/Electric Factory. Hell even the troc for its new added barricade had a level of fun still because we’d become the regulars and hell could be raised within reason. Beatings were far from uncommon and some sets would require a fight a song. Kids can’t fathom that now. Internet gossip mongers on sidekicks would have a field day acting like court stenographers recording things blow for blow and really working up a sweat to be the first to post the results on the local messageboard. But it happened. And it was good for what we had, needed. Things at the Church slowed down when a fight at H20 stopped Robby from being allowed to book there. Then came the glory days of the lineups like Hot Water Music and Promise Ring and 800 kids packed in there tight as a nun’s cunt. It wasn’t pretty but the lineups were amazing. I even gave Sean a hand in those dark days at one particular show to keep some of the idiots out because the show was WAY over sold out. In those days they ran the line down the street towards 22nd. One the crazy nights it would go to in front of the Mutter Museum.

I booked my shows and helped my friends but never made an impact like I would be able to because there was always a clear and present danger in coming to shows out of downtown/west philly. There we had dominance and although fewer fights then you’d believe it wasn’t deemed safe or cool to travel to Unity Street Hall, G and Erie at the Sports Center or the Frankford Y or St. Pauls on Castor. We did however corner the market on great Bad Luck 13 moments. The first show I recall them being called Bad Luck 13 Riot Extravaganza and not Snail Trail was at Unity Street Hall. I could be wrong but it was the first I recall. That night guys in luchador masks threw trash cans at each other and the crowd rejoiced. Later I got a different venue near North Catholic and a great lineup deemed worthy enough to have an awesome time. However I wasn’t quite 18 yet and the guy gave me a hard time about only having 120 at the door and so he tried to take all the money. His avarice paid him off well with Bad Luck 13 taking the stage and igniting the place in what made for their first great “video”. There were tables flying, the windows were smashed and a ladder was even thrown through one. I recall being locked in the venue after the owner left the place bleeding from a headwound. When the cops showed up we played dumb and walked out scot free. Life was fun like that.
It stayed like that for awhile. Book a show, have a blast, shit would happen and I’d get another spot. I did a terrible job that summer booking shows at the Sports Center but it was better then nothing. The biggest shows I did that year had Etown and NJ Bloodline. I did Clubber Lang and one of the last BurnSide shows I can remember. The place was too big and the manager who “hired” me never stayed on long enough to make things right with the place. Either way it was a blast. Those were the days of the white camaro, the punk rock house and so many other fabled stories that I won’t spend em all right here but needless to say it was a time for decadence. A friend of mine got his nickname 40 boy that year by standing out front of the Y where Robbie did a handful of shows with a different 40 oz per band. We were always drinking, usually drunk and fights happened quickly. The Y was awesome, fights never got too out of hand but there was that level of scumbaggery there that makes me squirm a lil when I think of how we acted. That year they put up the barricade at the Troc and I remember hating shows there since. That and getting banned from it the following year helped in my quest to not fuck with the Troc until lately when I will show up for the metal shows that come through and that’s about it.

The killtime really picked things up for Philly right when we needed it too. It wasn’t too long before we were drinking and fighting in front of there again. I can even recall once being sober fighting 3 guys by myself for a few, with one of them being on crutches. It was the first time I’ve seen a toaster used in a melee. It was for me the beginning of Punishment and some of the weight that I carry now being placed upon me. I think quitting drinking lead to me being more rational then the rest. I’d started the band and wanted it to be able to play. It never stopped me from throwing punches and will never stop me but ultimately the nonsensical brawls slowed up at that point. Sure at the E Town show during the Punishment set I jumped off stage to get into a mess and it later came back onto the stage but I was only 19 and still learning the ropes of these things. Ha.

I can’t seem to think of when I took an active role in the face of what we were doing. I will say by around 03 most of my friends had seen a few of us locked up, a lot more being done with hardcore and those that were left didn’t have the fight in them as much as we just liked being around each other. It didn’t stop the random loser who didn’t know any better from getting knocked out but it stopped us from ruining the second coming of the church shows. I can really say that it was the beginning of the second run that lead me to start working security and wanting to see better things happen for the Church. I had the HP shows pulled right out from under me and it was a blow to my actual hard work and true efforts to eliminate some of the shit I’d mentioned previously. Every show at HP I ran had zero fights, and almost 100 more kids then the last. It was a good time for what I’d started embarking on but without the results or proximity to downtown to really hit a homerun.

I wanted more for the Philadelphia I started seeing growing from bands like One Dead Three Wounded, Blacklisted… we had so many bands growing like Passion, Heidnik. Shit even Russ had the short lived “Face Mask”. It was time to get things on point with the Church and get the right direction and mindset in place with the rest of my boys. I truly think had I not been doing so much touring in 05 that I would have done something similar to TIH then. Ultimately the timing was right when I thought of it on tour post 05 posi #s how things needed to be on a more even footing for the smaller working bands that seemed to not get the notice because of the size and importance of the fest. Bob had done well for himself but these things grow into monsters as we saw in 05 with the end of Hellfest. Not that its ugly head won’t be rearing back up again but I think we are still a few more years off til when bands can’t play an entire state from jun to august for one weekend. It seems silly but it becomes overwhelming now in trying to do good for all, by all to have to pick 40 bands or so out of the near 1,000 or so available. It really becomes a needle in a haystack situation. I can’t even use the argument well if things were run tighter on time we could fit more bands because I honestly can’t get another band wedged on the fest if I could manipulate time. It becomes a lot to swallow. Having people expecting one thing, not being able to deliver. Hoping a band will be interested playing while being polite and saying no to about 100 or so bands in a single week. Its really a ballbuster.

But what is the alternative? To be in my late 20’s and punching kids for poor mosh etiquette or for random dumb shit? I’ve shifted the mindset I had towards good and the rewards are seen for the scene but there is a time when I wish I could go back to just dancing with a cueball or showing up without a care in the world about the show. I sometimes feel the need to help when not asked because others seem to be unable to get things in order. I don’t mind, someone has to do it or it will just grow out of control and land in your backyard you know? I would like to ultimately have better stress management but I am still waiting on the winning lottery and 12 inch dick I’ve asked god for about a million times.

I appreciate everyone seeing what I do and being thankful. That in itself is enough, but please understand had this been 10 years ago you’d might be saying the exact opposite.

Joe Emo-Core

2008-06-08T09:18:00.001-07:00

I will get back to the glory days of bands you don't care about and prophecies about the fore coming apocalyptic state of hardcore. Real life seems to creep through my fingers and transform itself well into words which ultimately feel better out here then lurking about causing mischief in my mind.
I may even get a bit generic with the next posting and do a 10 records thing that I've been thinking of on the el and the shitter. Just something to pass the time and fill up the lines.
take care and thanks for the comments on the more "creative" writing I've posted lately.

Last Night

2008-06-08T09:16:00.000-07:00

Within a breath I knew she was lost to me.
The idea, the wish, the dream of being alone was one I championed in spite of my heart’s wishes.
She stood there glimmering in white satin like an actress not far from the red carpet.
I never felt so low.
I never felt so embarrassed to be in my shoes, in my clothes, in my state of affairs.
She made me feel like I was nothing just by being there.
I had my chance to have heaven on earth with an angel and threw it away.
I chased her from my side with bats and knives and tours galore.
I stood there sucking wind and trying to communicate and all I could get out was that she looked pretty. I had my chance years ago to stand to her side complimenting her in my best suit. We would have been a pair you’d like to see in plastic, miniaturized and placed upon your wedding cake. Instead I came home and realized I got all of that I wished for and none of it paid off. I can’t rest easy on all that I’ve lost, I can’t breath thinking about how little I truly gave to someone who was so kind, so docile.
I didn’t sleep last night. I tossed and thought about how she was getting laid that night and I could have been the one lucky enough to sleep by her side in that post coital glory.
I’m not strong enough to cry for the mistakes I’ve made, the pain I’ve caused. I’d be stuck here a week and a day bawling like a girl for the grief I’ve held back.
She was everything to me and I gave her nothing. She’d never looked so glamorous, so beyond my reach. She was never my type and always out of my league.
Yet she loved me til her heart could not bear the torment and agony.
For all it’s worth there is hope for her yet but it comes at each step further from me.

Penance?

2008-06-06T19:33:00.000-07:00

Being a grown ass man entitles you to own up to things that your previously immature ass was incapable of. Call it humility or bearing the cross, its a part of that awkward step towards a better you.

I stood in court the other day and got berated like I was an eight year old who didn't bring home a detention slip. It felt good to be publicly scourged with her verbal assault. I needed it. It was good to lay my head on the chopping block and feel the blades weight land just shy of my head. Close calls are not something you want to relish in but this one reminded me of when I am at my weakest that its the other people who put into my life that are responsible and deserving of my apologetic appreciation.

There are people who've stood by me, stood beside me and in some instances have carried me like a wounded soldier in combat. I feel like they've done more then I am capable of returning and sometimes I wonder if they ever realize how much I appreciate their efforts.

I am sorry to those who've time and time again have given everything for me. It really sucks to see you guys rise up without a second thought. I am forever in your debt.

I've been off lately and it shows, I could only imagine how my mom is dealing with it. She bears quite the burden and always has, one day I'd like to really feel like I've taken on that so she can walk easier.

I've recently realized how much I've sucked for the past 2 years. I spent a good portion of it being a dick, doing ruthlessly stupid and selfish things and ultimately Samantha and I are forever apart and I've become the every other weekend dad to the two people who just brighten my day the most.

I've met some good folks in my life, but really the people who've become my surrogate family in the SCA have given me more then just a home in that world but direction, guidance, advice and an amazing outlet. I am forever indebted to my squire brothers and my knight and the entire Household for helping me side step some of the worst that life has handed me lately. Its been a pleasure and I will never repay your kindness, loyalty, friendship and generosity..

I will possibly amend this list but for now these people have done more for me then most and I know only the level of hell to which I would be confined if not for them.

Two guys that people oughtta know about.

2008-05-27T05:51:00.000-07:00

Big Joe Wyatt was from St. Louis and was a familiar face to those who went to shows in Chicago and St. Louis, as well as in the Christian hardcore scene. I can say with ease that seeing him out on the floor, either by his side or while we played just brought a smile to my face. He came through for Punishment in April of 01 when we’d taken ourselves to the brink of despair. We booked a show through him for the Saturday before Easter that April and we’re looking forward to it. We’d set off in March on tour with Misura (a heavy band from VA Beach that was signing to Too Damn Hype –which was our label at the time). I learned so much from this tour that it was now so worth all the strife and worry… In fact I could write a whole blog based on the “What Not To Do’s” off of that month alone. Needless to say and to cut to the chase (something I rarely do on here) we’d toured with this band for a month and had 3 more weeks planned but they broke up in the middle of the tour and their efforts to book our texas dates left us without shows for about a week. So what to do… Oh yea lets just show up on the doorstep of a guy who booked us at his house and stay there for about a week, in Carbondale, IL nonetheless. At one point we’d tortured my dear friend and roadie to the point he was looking at greyhound buses via the internet. I think we even were talking of selling blood while sitting in his hovel of a house. On top of our lack of cash we had to fix the van and surprise surprise didn’t have the cash. After about 6 days of practicing every day in his house and such we left to go to our St. Louis show where all our friends would be. It was like nothing else really. I can’t even make this shit up. We drove to the venue believing it was there only to be told its at some skatepark a few miles from here. Ok, no sweat. Only the van breaks down and we really started pushing the fuckin thing. One of the people going to the show happen to be going down the street and chose to push us so we got on top of the van and rode the rest of the way acting like assholes on top of a van. Right across from the skatepark was a black or Puerto Rican biker club’s bbq and here’s a bunch of dudes jumping around on the top of a van being pushed. The show was a matinee so most of the kids were outside and witnessed this spectacle of stupidity. Big Joe and Chris were outside and just in shock. I remember that Joe had walked up and handed us like 250 and told me not to say another word. I really felt like shit but I was happy to have someone out this far looking out for us. I remember the whole show was a blast. All our friends and their bands, good food, good times. We’d had one of those sets that really will always stick out to me, people went nuts the whole time. We even played the “new song” that we just finished in John Spomer’s basement in Carbondale. It was the first time we’d played it live but Rising became one of my favorites from that point on. That night we stayed with Joe and had a great time in his house bbqing and hanging out with all the guys. The next morning we woke up to Joe and Chris being at the apartment with WARM Krispy Kreme in hand. I’ve never had them before and they were ridiculous. After some deliberation we went down to the zoo in STL because it was free. We were hoping to see something out of a Nelly video but instead saw some cool cars and ended up hanging down on this street with Iron Age tattoos and all. The next day we got the parts for the van and fixed the thing and headed back to Carbondale for the night. The show at the house had come and Joe came to town early to hang out. Me and him ended up walking around “downtown” just having a good conversation about what’s going on in his life and he told me he had to have surgery on his eye because he had a mole. He said it could be something but he also said he wasn’t thinking too hard on it. I talked about life and how my baby’s momma had just moved to Upstate NY with my daughter after getting married and how I went on tour after meeting the coolest girl ever. He’d met her in Chicago a few weeks before when she flew out to surprise us. He’d finally met “that girl” in his life and was hoping to marry her. It was a great talk from a young guy to older dude and ultimately it was the highlight of that low month. That night we had a fuckin blast, raised fuckin hell in a crazy basement show and even punked out some weird WP dude that was at the show. Chris having a corkscrew in his hand during the “confrontation” really sealed the deal for me.
Months later we’d gotten our asses back on tour and were in STL for thanksgiving. No Joe this time around as he was sick and in fact had been doing poorly in result of the cancer that they found in him. A guy who stood over 6 foot and not skinny man had been reduced to about 170 lbs or so. I got to speak to him over the phone for a bit and he expressed his apologies for not being to be with us this time around. That night when I took a shower at the motel I really just sat on the floor of the bathroom crying. Thankfully all the retards in the band were elsewhere or I would have had that juvenile embarrassment that is not valid in this situation. By Christmas that year He had passed on and it was like a bit of relief to know such a good guy had been relieved of the pain. At the time it was a month after a tour which meant Punishment was without members. We were true Viking hardcore. We’d leave like a voyage kissing sad women goodbye and come home with losses in men the way a raiding longship would come back to port with less then the crew then they had. I’d gotten a call from Luke from Chicago that there was to be a benefit for Joe and that they wanted us to play. I got some of the guys from Chris’s metal band together and we got our asses in the van (like 10 of us or so) and we hauled out to St Louis. We got to Carbondale in like 15 hours and played to some shitty rock club where there’d been a fight or something over moshing. We ended up in St Louis at Jim Honey’s house that night. It sucked so bad to be back and there not be a Joe to hear or see out there. It was the first time in my life having to be the guy with a mic in his hand at a benefit show. I was 21 years old and it felt like shit to be in this place without him.

R.I.P Joe Wyatt

I guess I needed to relive that one to get into the shit that’s running through my mind right now. I am 2 days away from Magras’s benefit show. Its an old hat now. Its been 7 years since we played that show and since then Bailey’s sister got hit by a truck on a bike, Pig’s sister was murdered, Stoney died in a car crash, Robby’s mom died of cancer a month after her finding out. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve gotten together out front of a show like this and just been happy to see the faces that are there. Fuck I can’t even go back to STL anymore. Chris (companion of Joe in the story above) died of an aneurysm 2 weeks before SR was set to play there. The guy had got his shit together with a spot to live, finally got to work tattooing after years of drawing great but being a shop manager instead of a tattooer. I can’t believe I really stood on the stage of the creepy crawl 5 years after I had all my boys in STL in one room with hardly anyone from that time ALIVE. It’s a fuckin ball buster man. It makes you want to do so many useless things to protect yourself against that inconceivable thing that will ultimately end your life.

Mike Magras was always a good person in my eyes. I never really seen a bully in his actions. He is a heavier dude so when he gets moving he is ultimately going to plow through most of whats in his way. I think the thing that stands out in him is his laugh, he is one of those guys with the big hearty laugh. It’s the kind of laugh that if attributed to a cartoon could make the big screen. Magras and I were friends for years before I even knew he played guitar. He was a great addition to the late Punishment roster. You damn well knew he wasn’t about to actually move on stage but having a dude who looked like something out of Crowbar has its advantages and cool stage points. I gotta tell you it was 4 years after that worst punishment tour ever and I felt back in that place again. I was so scatter brained with the upcoming birth of Ryan, all my anxiety about having/wanting to grow up and the thought of actually marrying Samantha that I really didn’t know what to do myself. On top of it the cancer scare that I had with my mom and me moving out of the house on Emerald Street really left me without a pot to piss in and a window to throw it off. We really should have never went on that tour, but we had our boys Blacklisted wanting to go out on the tour after they had something going on fall through.
Just to be on the road with George, Ferrero, Timmy, Mike Mig, Russ, Guppy, Magras, Sean Foley (the greatest guy to ever have on a road trip) I had to do it. It was like an all star cast of a complete failure. Ultimately we’d never rebound from it. Our van dead, I went home on a greyhound like most of the dudes and spent the rest of the summer on tour in a similar yet new shitty situation with SR. It was a bad summer in general. That fall Punishment lost its momentum after me and Timmy had the falling out and I told Sean Foley to join Blacklisted. Everyone really started to get their shit in order from then on. Russ and Ferrero did the union thing, Timmy got ready to go to college, Blacklisted became the fucking kings, Guppy is well Guppy (leading the ’08 Season in KO’s) and I am here writing this blog.

I left out Magras because well he really got his shit together. He met a girl who was special enough to him to start focusing on the stuff the rest of us drug our heels on, the kind of shit that now most of the dudes are heavily involved in – job, house, girl/wife/kids. He took on this new job, got the girl pregnant and decided to be the standup father for the wee girl she had that was without a father at the present. I feel like he did something that was more standup than most of us were capable then. So for all his efforts to lead a straight life of wive/kids/job he was repaid for his efforts with a fire in his house that took the lives of both his daughters, all of his belongings and burned his precious wife badly. Is this the fuckin payment for a good deed done? Is this the karma of a guy who turned down the fast life of no money, slutty girls and gangdom for something solid and worth waking up to?

Its one of these things that torment me to the point of mental exhaustion, yet the only thing I can think of doing is getting him some cash to maybe put something back into his life. Or at least show that we still care and are still there. I think he is one of the most standup dudes we’ve ever met or had the privilege to call a brother, in the face of this tragedy he had no drama or call to arms against his wife’s ex and father of the elder child. In fact he even hugged the guy at the funeral and told he did the best that he could for his daughter. That was twenty times harder then any ass kicking I can think of.
I guess this is growing up huh? Where hugging a dude is tougher then kicking his ass. :P

Come out this Thursday and have a fucking blast with us.

If you can’t come but want to send some $ paypal to joehardcorefsu@aol.com

THURSDAY MAY 29TH
$10
7PM

BLACKLISTED
PAINT IT BLACK
BRAINDEAD
JERK CITY

Franklinville Skating Rink
2608 N Delsea Drive
Franklinville, NJ
08322

The wind through my hair, my last moments recalled.

2008-05-22T03:32:00.000-07:00

I am coming to the end of the rope. I’ve said for years that you got to give someone enough rope to hang themselves and it’s a few seconds past the trap doors opening in a rush and I’ve already bounced back from the initial drop at least twice. This feels like an eternity but its definitely been too quick to see without stopping for the frame by frame replay. If I know my “well wishers” as well as I do they would pay top dollar for that clip frame by frame. I wonder if they will release the information to the press that upon my neck snapping I released what was left in my empty stomach into my drawers. I have no dignity left so I assuming they have no qualms about releasing for the public’s delight.

I really have to hand it to the world I really never saw it coming. I really placed myself on such a pedestal where I was incapable of falling. Incapable of being LOW and it was impossible to feel the concrete as it made a sweet popping sound on my jawbone when all my glory was lost and my face hit the concrete with a resounding applause from the mythical home audience watching the end of my reign of righteousness. I am tired now, I am bruised, yet until I embraced humility I was not aware of the throbbing pulse of pain in my heart from the agony of defeat. I ruined every good aspect of my life in search of solace from this stress, from this pain. I was so consumed with the What Ifs and other things I am not in control of that I squandered all of my happiness away on a summer that I am ashamed to have lived through. You know those scenes in a movie where you squirm in your seat because you’ve been there before and you’re embarrassed for the guy in question… Well imagine a BDSM inspired scene not unlike some Clockwork Orange rehabilitation scene where I am helpless to relive each mistake, each moment of weakness, each failure of the past 2 years. I would say that the punishment fits the crime but ultimately the haze of self denial is over and I could use a dose of reality. Maybe it would come to me, each moment where the choice of right or wrong was imminent and each time where I balked and stepped one foot further into this future hell which I am currently acclimating myself to. I could see where the false pretenses and the notion of infallibility lead me to believe all was going to be alright. I guess it would be easy to see this as I would be force fed my own shit for once.

Its all been a huge mistake. Despite my inhuman ability to be injured from a young age and the lack of a car that we suffered throughout most of my childhood, I learned quick how to get by despite being in insane amounts of pain til my mom could take me to the ER and I guarantee she looked like an abusive mom with the record number of broken bones and stitches that I accumulated. I can say with ease it would be easier to stomach a 55 gallon of my shit then to realize the stress and pain I’ve put on my loved ones. Its really pathetic, its to the degree of FONZIE of me in some ways. I guess despite my best efforts and my repeated attempts I am no better then my father who to me is the lowest rung on the human ladder. One day it will be revealed just how much of a dirty pederast that man is. One day the few who swallow his gospel for gold will understand the nonsense he spewed out was poison. I can’t fuckin believe I can’t deny the parallels to him and I, even at this young of a stage. What’s left for me now? Crack, stealing an old man’s home upon his death? Getting blowjobs from dudebitches near lucky’s at 3am in a drunken stupor in the front seat of my grandiose Cordoba. I can’t fuckin imagine that but really its not like I’ve done much better. I fucked with things enough to know what I was doing and I will now suffer the penalty.

I am unable to breath right now. I think its psychosomatic. I am physically suffering the emotion equivalent to my mindset of late. I am overwhelmed, outgunned, under the pressure of being a failure and more importantly I am going to end up like the one person who defies the scales of justice and is still breathing air in this fucking land. I wonder just how crooked you have to be to change reality enough to actually believe the shit that you did was for the benefit of all. I am going to just place my head on the chopping block now before my brain starts lying to me and having me think that what I did was right and for the good of my dependants. I guess that’s the way out, the man up choice that leaves me ahead in this game of life. Even if its by a Cunt Hair (a Red hair cunt hair at that) there will be some solace in placing above him who made most of what I lament over a reality.

I would honestly become a monk in a cave somewhere for 20 years if it meant my son and daughters were to breath the fine air of the good life with a different home then the one I am proud to have grown up in. At this point any choice is better then the ones of the past few years. Regrets, I still have none. Had I regret anything I would not learn the value of what is ultimately lost, and I would be unable to accept fate’s placement as just.

There is a beauty in just going “Yea I really fucked that up huh?”.

We Had Fun, Its Ashame No One Else Did.

2008-04-17T07:04:00.000-07:00

I think living the hardcore lifestyle allows for you to predict a certain amount of things that the off street dude can’t. I also think that I’ve come to the point where I living on this 2 or 3 year cycle where all of a sudden I see these kids and their attitudes and I can reference the cycles previous to it and just know everything about them and what they’re going to do. Lately my young boys have been bitching about these herbs from the burbs that are anti FSU and anti us.

I am once again the white devil enslaving the local scene and obviously ruining everyone’s good fun. Its been that way for years. I’m always the bane of someone’s hardcore existence. There is someone out there doing things much better or more true to the cause then I am. My friends are always wrong and just bullies. I can go back and harp on this for another paragraph but it won’t do me any cathartic justice. I’ve grown accustomed to it. I’ve read all the interviews with the herbs like Another Breath, Dangers, etc. The hardcore scene is so violent, gangs ruin everything, can’t we all just get along by shit talking each other online?

I am passed that point in my life where I really think I can change everyone’s perception of me and where my intentions lie. I’ve got a lot of distance and growth from what I used to associate fun at a show with. From then to now, I can say with ease that the days of me just laying you out for something incidental is beyond over. In fact I can say now with hindsight on my side that the days of brawling for nonsensical mosh beef is over. I can think back to my late teens where the anxiety and stress was so high, it was those weekend nights, 40’s before the shows, crew hanging out front that made life worth living. If it meant hitting someone over something my friend instigated, or going the extra distance to “prove” myself in some way you can be sure as shit that I was guilty as charged. There was a lot of anger in those days. I am still conflicted between wanting to just take the easy way out and get violent or using my head and getting through it in a different course.

I was always conflicted if I really want to get real and examine it. I was young and new and booking shows not far from my house. My friends were always right, I would say that first off. I will stay say that to this day. I have nothing without the guys that kept me from sinking into the depths of hell for good. But some of the shit that we pulled I wouldn’t let fly today. I think its almost sad that I was spending large amounts of time and money booking the “unbookable” and having a blast at my owns and in the same breath not giving a fuck about what I was disturbing/wrecking. It was the Dr. Jekyl / Mr. Hyde that I never even saw at the time. I’ve had a blast with the booking end of things. It has served me much better then the creating end of the music as I am sadly relegated to bass aka the Idiots instrument or screaming on stage. Something that although fun is far from creative and important in a band, in fact I dispute that misconception that the singers in the band are the focus or the core of what makes a band great although I fall victim to loving a band or hating them based on the singer. Weird how that works right? The things I used to do, be a part of would honestly be worldwide msg board fodder for weeks upon weeks with both sides foaming at the mouth for more b33f. God bless the inception of the internet really didn’t come til the tail end of the chaos. I do remember the Punishment msg board being a hotspot in the b33f. Funny that most of it was in fact my friends fighting with each other.

Like the time PAST called out my boy KEM and in return KEM crossed damn near 30 legal pieces that PAST had running at the time. In fact I’d say that KEM effectively destroyed my term of hanging at walls watching the majestic beauty of a wall unfold. Funnier still was PAST’s determination to kick KEM’s ass. We were on South Street and he (PAST) was talking about if he sees him. Sure enough we get to the spot (5^th and South) and KEM is on a bike and PAST walks up to him and was like “yo bro let’s go down the alley and talk a bit”. I remember Damien laughing and someone else making a gesture like “pull a chair this is going to get good”. What ensued was the most boring text book debate on Philadelphia Graffiti , the downtown scene and everything I didn’t care about. I think George and I left to get pizza and came back til it still going on. Ha… I miss the days of just being a soldier. Not getting the calls but being the one people were getting called about. Something fun and bad ass about always manage to cause a ruckus made going to shows or parties or South Street a blast and a story no matter the day. I remember when my boys got Freight Train together. It was such an odd coupling of Chris Cap (Release!!!!!NJ sxe) who was far from edge but a fucking blast, Mark and Jesse from the tattoo shop and good ol Diego and Slave whom I was close with.

I can remember them telling me they were doing a band and that they needed songs. Somehow or another they ended up using some lyrics I wrote “beyond understanding”. When Diego showed up with the Demo I realized we were going to have a new world of chaos in our hands. First show was in NJ at some shit bar that tried to do shows in South Jersey. First note I started dancing and boomed was choked and kicked out.
I don’t even know if they got to play a full set. I was so shit faced I would have really been up shit’s creek if Cracker and Dean hadn’t convinced the cops to let me go. Later on Freight Train shows would be the swan song of the Ninth Circle days, the end of my being drunk and stupid at shows. I can’t think of a show that didn’t have 20 or more of us there together raising hell and havin a blast. Whether it was Allentown, Lansdale or Philly we really had some good fuckin times.

I think of piling up in Carmen’s lil Plymouth and being shitfaced and high before we even left Philly. Some of the best /worst times were in that car driving somewhere. The best thing about Freight Train was that these promoters would really try to get them to calm down or get us to pay to get in but it didn’t work. Dudes would really carry a single cymbal stand to get in.

So fuckin backwards to what I was doing at the time trying to keep bands coming in from out of town. It was great on one hand to have a friends band make the waves down here. I remember watching people kiss Diego’s ass that hated him and thinking better him then me. Its been a long time and now I can see where he got a lot of his thoughts from. Its hard to be the guy that’s gotta keep everything together. Be the band guy, be the party guy and then be the crew guy that’s gotta keep the place in check. Big shoes to fill, a lot of choices that will always leave someone pissed and another doubting, I’m at the point now where I just look to what I want more then other people’s feelings in that regard. If you’re going to be an asshole to someone, you might as well be right in your thinking as well. I remember shows with Second To None and Freight Train and the absolute terror in some of these kids eyes. It was really something that isn’t possible to recreate today. The new wave of kids aren’t built for that much abuse. Unlike many gay crews from around the country that die out when a band dies out, we were actually worse at other shows I think.

I can remember the time when most of the real trouble makers went to a show Damien did in the burbs and that night we get home and it was pandemonium in the gossip department. 20 of the “younger” dudes had a major blowout at the Church during the Get Up Kids. I wasn’t there but I know prominent hardcore dudes got socked, coffee was thrown and the young boys I’ve watched grow from small church shows in our hood have finally got their own dirt. It was a weird moment. I was elated to hear that for the first time it wasn’t me or Carmen or Bushy involved. For once I could say “hey don’t look at me”. I am sure that’s far from how I felt then as I know there were proceeding non show asskickings that resulted from that show but it’s a notion that leads me to think about all of this.
Who the fuck was I to try to do shows on one hand and be so fuckin ignorant on the other? It’s a great thing this hardcore world and I was not headed down the path that would lead me to anything but jail or death. I’ve gotta say that Chris Spear from Dysphoria from being good friends with him really took me off that path. I think he saw more in me. More then what most did at the time. God only knows when I started being a fixture at Dysphoria shows that they were getting shit for the alliance but it really saved me. I was on the verge of being 19 when I got asked to go on tour. It was Christmas times 1000. In fact the only things that have made me happier since was a first kiss and two beautiful children.
I really think the final straw in the Ninth Circle card was pulled in June of that year. I’d booked Freight Train, Clubber Lang, Second To None, Overthrow (LI), Kensington for the church near my house. Things were going smooth. Usual NJ dudes showing up 30 deep, no one paying and it being cool. Most of my friends were drinking elsewhere but always knowing when to come inside. Overthrow had been stuck in traffic and running late. I couldn’t help them too much as I had to watch the show, mosh for every song(man I wish I had that kind of time now) and make sure things were going smooth. Back then I ran a vocal PA only and had to play the part of promoter, stage manager, sound guy, and lead mosher… God bless being 19 and not getting laid. Things were awesome, a few minor arguments but not one fight. Carmen’s girl got kicked in the face by a friend being the only major injury of the moment. Overthrow shows up and sets up merch. I tell them its too late and they can’t play. It was hard getting bands to be on time, have equipment then. I didn’t have my shit together like I do now. I wish I did but fuck it, it was the shows then that got me to be like I am now. After I tell them they can’t play the dude in the band goes nuts and knocks all this shit off the merch table. Causes a scene. People go up to them and tell them pretty much, eat shit and leave or get fucked up and not ever get back to NY. I know one friend who went as far to get a shotgun from his car… next thing you know there is an argument amongst friends over this dispute.
In charming irony, they were only fighting because one friend didn’t see everything and saw the other friend talking shit to the band. A girl in the middle of it leads to a gun being pulled and the whole place going crazy. I know people ran out the door and a knife was stabbed into the doorway. Minutes later as everyone is leaving and I am trying to see whats going on, a girl we know all too well maces someone that everyone knows these days and my babys momma is then kickin her ass on the sidewalk of the church. Soon enough that girl gets the shit kicked out of her by others and I am watching a Chinese fire drill of people leaving the church as soon as possible. Cops are coming, everyone is running around like crazy. I remember the Chicago dudes that came to hang out were in complete amazement of the situation.
It was a small minor event that lead to a lot of my friends beefing amongst each other. I got banned at the Troc over it (ha didn’t even do it) and I learned a lot about what people say in hindsight versus what their actions were that night. I had a great weekend with Second To None with the Chicago guys. It ended on South Street Sunday when we beat up some roadies of Indecision on South Street for acting hard and starting nonsense. I think today I would be in jail for even trying to fight like that on 4^th and South. Oh well.

I learned a lot and less then a month later I went on tour. Met so many influential people to my early 20s that I have never been able to look back fully. The rest of 99 shaped out with me coming home after only drinking once on tour (that’s a big wow for back then) Some more shows, a lot of violence but the drinking and getting high tapered off. I started a band with Black Mike and Damien with my friend Mike Mig. Practicing became a big deal to me.
I wanted to be a better person for the first time in forever. Time spent with my daughter and seeing how the drinking her mom was doing wasn’t cool for her to see. I wanted to be a better father for the first time. I think at 19 with what I was going through that it was one of my better resolutions.
I was not ready for Carmen shooting himself. No one was. It really tore my life into pieces. He’d been a rock, a foundation. A dude I could talk to , could count on. Gone for good. Looking into his coffin I was almost sick in my mouth. I will never forget that day. The next day I stopped drinking. 2 years later I would have 3 x’s tattooed across the back of my neck only to come from tour seeing a billboard for the movie and being pissed. Its funny for me to type all this out.
Its probably far from a good read, but something I’ve pondered over the past few years. Punishment being a band in one sense ended a lot of the Ninth Circle days. I was away from the city a lot. When I was home the fights that happened were getting less serious and involved the “younger” crowd. My friends were more into the bars and staying out of the small show scene.
The nights spent out front of the Killtime included less me fighting, more me trying to be the middle man. Sure I wasn’t perfect and far from that today, but the change from the band was monumental. Yet the stigma still applied. My friends still ruined everything. I didn’t matter what I did, or what I was doing in my band, we were still the black sheep and menace. The reason no one else had fun. Its cool, I would never change an aspect of it. Just was what it was. It stayed like that for another 2 years and then tapered off to things being ok.
Enter the Horrorshow days and No Rights and funrama and us finally being on good terms with Robby after it seemed like forever of being able to laugh and hang out but being on opposite sides of arguments. I was finally seeing what he was saying back in 96.
Sorry Robby it took so long for me to grow up. 2 more years and I was able to not only work shows at the Church thus eliminating the trouble between my friends and the weak security dudes that didn’t do much of securing anything. I think of the bands now, versus then. Man we could have done so much, but we ruined that. We didn’t deserve it yet. We had to spend those years being asses, having to go to the Killtime or Funrama because the Church wasn’t doing hardcore shows. Now its been 10 years since I danced with bricks in my school bag, or showed up dusted and dancing with the intent on cutting someone with a boxcutter for the first mistake.

I’ve worn the scars and the scorn of many. I don’t want a statue or an award, but I think for all intents and purposes there is a world of difference in 10 years. I am still associated with all things that are evil and I wouldn’t have them any other way. Its been my legacy, the only difference is while I could have done ‘better’ things or the ‘right’ things I chose this. Its not always the popular choice and there will always be someone who disagrees or shoots rocks.
However I can say that I am still here and I still making a difference, good or bad. I’ve watched my critics get old or get cool and fade away. I’ve been accused by the freshcuts and greenhorns of the core of being the devil and its never stopped me.
A lot of people that I look forward to conversations with are people who saw the bad in me then and I am very happy to have in my life as friends now. That says enough. I will leave this entry with a youtube video of me playing bass in Freight Train with Damien on guitar. The show was the last Freight Train show (not like today when people make a big deal about it) but they didn’t play after. And with 2 punishment dudes in the band and max it wasn’t the real lineup so to speak to begin with. But it was one more night with the guys that made the end of my teen years worth living..

Send all the hate you can. We’re still here..

Sorry for the lack of writing.

2008-04-08T00:50:00.000-07:00

This blog has been a great source of release for me, sorry for the lack of updates. I've actually just stopped writing for a minute to re evualate what I wanted to use the blog for. Still not sure. But here we are with a few things on my mind. I will be doing some more specific things in the near future. Time permits and all that shit.
Stay well and go see bands like Blacklisted and Death Before Dishonor on their lengthy tours they've just started...

2008-04-08T00:43:00.000-07:00

Earth can be a lonely place
Blank stares on the people's face
I contemplate their pointless chase
That traps me and my friends
Is this the place where I belong?
Where did we go wrong?
Will it last real long?
Are you too singing this song?
Sometimes I feel it
Sometimes I feel all so alone
And yes yes I must confess
I feel so far from home

Ok why is Joe taking lyrics from a Shelter song and posting them up?For this demonstration purpose and ambience these lines best explain how I felt Thursday night. It was the last Modern Life Is War show in Philadelphia. Funny that bands do that sort of thing now, but I will back it over that one show in a venue that holds 500 so 1,500 show up at and its a mess. I remember having a good night fighting at practice and quickly changing clothes and heading over to the Church to get there for the very beginning of my young boys Brain Dead. They were the support right before MILW took the stage one more time. I can see the usual faces and alot of newer, stranger ones as well. Bands like Modern Life Is War always bring these types of offshoot core types who know there are other shows but are much to busy to show up. Its funny to even see them dancing. They almost always an eyesore to watch and the first one to get upset over contact. Its a great show of passive aggressive energy. For me going to these shows is as close to Church as possible. Enlightment is found through the release of aggression or the social contact of my fellow hardcore kid renews my thinking and I am once again whole. I could probably build a whole cult based on it but I digress that I need more time fighting and less time taking over the hardcore scene one cult at a time. BrainDead was far from powerful. In fact their newb drummer really didn't have it together and you could tell they were off. Its ashame, because they need every show to be a banger. Thankfully most hardcore fans are not too discerning with their tastes or able to pick up those nuances but they were there. The pecking/picking order for local bands to play the Church show follows a rough basic idea that the same bands shouldn't open every show. It allows a breathing space of a few months between the bands playing at the fun spot at home. It makes them a drawing force as opposed to the weekly special and really showcases our talent. A band like Braindead played last July with Ceremony and I can't think of when they played between then and now so in that time, nearly a year there is time for growth and kids to get ready for them. The place was moving. One thing I love is seeing my young friends bands getting the place riled up. I would go further but its never going to be the same for me I think. Hence part of those lyrics above. I feel alone sometimes out there on that floor. I am near 30. When I started coming here I had to fight for my 10 secs of dancefloor fame. There were titans in there with these great moves and these awesome tattoos. They made my 14 year old self feel so insecure and different. I wasn't ready for the culture shock of the church shows. No visible bouncers. No shirtless guys with the shoving. It was a different envoirnment altogether. I knew some faces from shows but hardly anyone to strike up a conversation with outside of whom I travelled with and who they knew. I remember I didn't dance forever. I remember going home and practicing at home. Moshing seemed like the best thing on earth to me. I'd been in pits for all the greats and I've gotten my bruises and had my fights (all loses). But those church shows were where the dudes really came out and moved gracefully. It wasn't like other shows where it was brute force or a show of aggression there was a style and technique. Each guy had a deviation of its own. So many different archetypes as well. It was such a wonderful palette of people,style and mosh tactics. The anxiety of a darkened church floor before the band began would ride high til the place opened up for the initial song. it was almost always the craziest the beginning and the end of the set. The thing I liked the most about the church was the lack of the steps that injured so many at the Troc. Sure the troc is where it was really jammed packed and alot of the church shows I went to were never packed til the very latter days of the Robby Redcheeks era, but still it was good not to have some fat asshole fall onto you and you fall with your ankle crushed on the steps underneath the balcony. Nowadays the church feels so small. I look out and I know the faces but I can trust a select few. I could hear Mike's voice back to his heckling and I knew I was still home but it just don't feel right. I find myself watching the front of the stage wondeing why stevie sings but no one can hear him and I realize he is doing the new cool guy technique of not holding the mic to his face. Its a huge let down to see someone do that. Go to practice, earn your pipes and make that shit audible. I see all the kids for what they are now. No longer are they really kinsmen so to speak. They haven't been through the shit I have. We're not here for the same reason. I don't relate to their tastes, their social outlooks and their choice in clothes. I have more respect for a girl named Tiffany who came from somewhere else that proved to be a lone wolf amongst these fuckin sheep. Its like they have a cloning device offshore between NJ and Philadelphia. Something on Perry's Island that mutates the young into these wanna be urban chic, fake hardcore aesthetic looking kids. They know the words, they know the moves, they know my name before I know theirs but are they really here? Are they really letting it all go the way we used to? I can't understand it. The best hit I've got in the face at a show was almost 3 years ago during Guns Up. Some kid levelled me and my lip was split. He was bummed and apologizing, but I was more happy to see someone not afraid to just let loose for a change instead of doing the hardcore hokey pokey gay dance that I thanked him. Do we need to go back to violent mosh with bricks in our schoolbags to prove a point? No. But it just feels like its all too choreographed. I am almost ready to hear some director yell cut and have the lights go on, the music instantly cut out and have some fucking technical advisor come over and give me shit saying that people just don't stand in the middle of the floor not dancing. I want to just tell him, well its 2008 and most of these kids couldn't mosh through a paper bag let alone do anything that I won't see coming. So I'll stand where I want. I think the element of fear that turns people away being gone from shows is a decent thing in the fact that it brings a better understanding of what we do as a community to the forefront, but come on. LET FUCKING GO. Get out there and just rage for once. No more of these 25 second jumping jack katas before the song really gets going and then once the banger hits you're out of moves or your cardio's shot and its an empty floor. Do you need some fucking Mosh viagra to keep this shit up? I watched the whole MILW set as kids were jumping around like they were going to kill something, be it a person, bear,dragon or tiger. They weren't going to stop, and once the song really hits they're out. Its like the mosh pre-ejaculation sympton has spread across the land. I think its just as bad as these bands in hardcore that want to be looked at as villains or so fucking tough and really they're softer then cotton candy. All these XasskickerX bands like that fat faggot AJ from the Storm and his new band Congo. I am tired of hearing the words "2 step" "Moshcore" associated with hardcore. Its all pussy la la shit and I could care less about how tough your lyrics are. Its as bad as CDC from Lansdale with their "Ghetto isn't cool, ghetto is hell" saying. Its just dumb shit that in hardcore today makes me want to laugh outloud, put on armor and forget about the whole thing completely. Where have we gone wrong? Did the fruits of real bands like Madball,Cold As Life, Fury Of Five turn into these piss poor subhuman species like the mesh shorts, castro hat fat kid mosh or the 90 lbs wet 6 foot tall freak of nature with the bad neck tattoos. These kids are getting younger, wimpier and trying harder then ever to be what they were never set out to be. I guess thats why over the course of the past 10 years, I've gone across the board in what band I support, what bands I play in and what shows I put on. Gone are the days of Second To None and Clubber Lang. The people who want to play music like that are bigger bitches then the posi kids who hated us for dancing like dicks in the 90s now. All this loud mosh say nothing go through the motions crap is just played the fuck out. Its roots are always sadly traced to Hatebreed, which to me stands as one of the greats. Not because they're on ozzfest but for other aesthetically pleasing reasons that have been disintegrated through years of the internet and the death of the work ethic. Hatebreed and Jamey really worked their fuckin balls off. All those demos,split 7"s. Stuff he used to write and sing about was nearly untouched. Mark My Words is probably the name of 12,000 shit bands across the globe now, but when I got that comp 7" It was the hardest fucking thing I'd heard since Suffocation "Pierced From Within". I don't really know whats worse. I am still contemplating the commission of a scale which will weigh things out to figure out whats a shittier element in hardcore. The kids who are decked out and know all the right songs and lyrics and do all the right moves but are just going through the motions so there is no follow through or the herbs that really think that they are tough guys because they have a pair of brass knuckles and are in a mosh crew. Most of these jokers on either side will never be shit, may even take their parents money and get the surgery to cover up the bad tattoo choices of their earlier years. It sucks to feel like an entire generation before me is gone, and the ones after have left nothing. The one going on today are just wearing this like a pair of cool sneakers. They will find its use and when we're old for them and the rise of being what they wanted to be is over they will be gone. Who will be left? What will be left? Should I stick it out another song to see how the show ends? Should I stick it out another show to see if there is some glimmer of hope amongst the rubble of wasted space?Do I have another year to put it up with fake smiles and bullshit hellos? I am not sure. The place is still packed, it looks like things are fine from all the right angles but honestly every now and again I feel like if I could just freeze time I could run through the place and realize all these people standing on that floor are nothing more then cardboard cutouts on cardstock set up like players from the candyland boardgame who are only a swift breeze away from fallen flat to the ground... Oh well. I guess time will tell.

FEST MADNESS!

2008-04-07T23:58:00.001-07:00

I am sure that most of you know that right now all the bands we've spoke about so highly and so lowly are now gearing up much like a scene from the Two Towers (#2 in the Lord Of The Rings saga epic trilogy). The drums of TOUR (NOT WAR) are beating steadily and we find our favorite bands on fests in every state it seems this year and a continent or two. For me its time to get real and decide what to do with This Is Hardcore Fest. The bands I worked with 3 years ago are onto bigger things, out touring 14 months a year or broken up already. I can't keep repeating what I've done. I'm happy to see fests like United Blood, Rain City and As One Fest stack the calendar year. Hardcore shouldn't rely solely on the summer months though our demographic shelters those months as high tide due to everyone being out on break from school and what not. I've watched the fests come and go and I can't say I disagree with anything this year anymore then I ever have. I can remember as far back as the Wilkes Barre fests in 95/96 where they were having bands like Grade and Overcast play. Those were pretty cool. A few years later a couple of my friends played this club in Syracuse and later that fest turned into the best msg board joke ever- "HELLFEST 2K6 GOT CANCELLED?". I think its great to have so many areas with strong hardcore scenes putting on shows. I should also point out that even weaker scenes tend to put on a decent to great festival now and again. I would like to make them all one year. One year of fucking off and just checking out the shit like Punk and Disorderly in Berlin in February. Or End Of Summer Jam in Orlando. It would be cool and a great sociological study of our subculture indeed. I am far from bereaved over the message boards and the idea that there is competition amongst the fests. In fact I look forward to Sound And Fury doing well. Sound and Fury doing well means that kids are still coming and bands are still touring and that makes This Is Hardcore that much more of a relief. We're all going to have our differences and preferences and that is what makes it great. I think that I need to bring some zest back into my own personal hardcore world. Its getting bland now. All these suckers looking the same now, the mosh is beyond weak and more choreographed then water ballet. I think a band like Vision or Fahrenheit 451 can shake them up a bit and change their outlook on things. Stuff like 100 Demons and Madball has always been my bread and butter and with Madball resting high as one of the only bands left that I honestly feel from a promoters point of view earns their daily bread, its going to be awesome to start the This Is Hardcore weekend off right. I think if I can get the right mix of the young new hungry bands, with some of these veteran bands that still got it in them with a dose of the big boys who still rock the world, that is the best I can offer a crowd. I tried to reason myself out of doing This Is Hardcore in December. I remember it well. I was laying in bed, laid off from work thinking about all the stuff I am going to do differently in 2008. I want to be like a snake and shed some fuckin skin. No more baggage. I wish I didn't need all this shit around, I would have the ultimate yardsale and be done with most of it. I feel weighed down by these surroundings. Where this goes is off to the things that I spent ALOT of time on. I love the SCA and its keeping the other 3 letters like Flowers By Irene from kicking down my door amidst an amazing scandal that would put me in jail for the rest of my natural life. Ok, so the swords stay. How about the promoting.. Well with a void where we should have smaller shows and needing a new venue, that would take up time I don't have right now and I really know that it was going to hurt us, and to a degree it has. Ok, less shows this year. Got it.. But if bands I love and like working with want a show.. I'm in. OK. How about the Fest? We don't need to do it again.. Hardcore is BACK, didn't you see that national geographic shit on sxe .Didn't you see some of these bands getting bigger? That other fest can do what we did. And then I got selfish. Is there something I can do this year to make it better, different and yet fun for everyone that I didn't last year. The light bulb went on and I couldn't sleep. Now fast forward to 2008, April and we're three weeks til presales go up and I'm biting nails waiting on agents to get back at me and laughing at my list of heroes who want a down payment on a house to play the fest growing by the month. The Superbowl Of Hardcore was this weekend, but my own personal superbowl was going down and I know where I needed to be. Rivalry fest was a blast from what I've heard and everyone loved United Blood. As One fest is next month and its sure to be something and that Metal fest they do in worcester might be worth traveling for. I've got a list of bands ready to be the mortar amongst the bricks in the lineup but I can't get some headway. I've got this awesome intern from Cookieland (read Amsterdam,Holland) and I feel like she's not getting work because there isn't much to do since the videos from last year came in and we're still not at the full promo stage. I hate this. It feels like the part of the Two Towers where everyone is doubting if they'll be able to hold off the Keep from the horde of Orcs come crashing in. Its not quite Big speech before the big fight time, but its that doubtful time where you don't know if the decisions you've made will hold and if the people will come. I can only say that this year will not have bands that I could do without seeing, each will be something special and if it all works well.. I might retire after this one just so I don't have to "outdo" myself next year. I've got alot more rants to make but an update was neccesary and good to get the mind rolling again and the fingers sore from typing....www.myspace.com/thisishardcorefest

So your simple ass wants to tour this summer?

2008-02-26T22:55:00.000-08:00

For most of us touring was a right of passage, a coming of age thing and something that was never as casual as its become. I think often of the silly emails from this younger generation of bands and kids that I get. Everything from their MANAGER (read-girlfriend) to them asking for me to throw them a guarantee for them and 4 more bands that I also never heard of. I will start answering all myspace messages and emails like this.."Ok so you're lily white ass got into hardcore and now want to be the big shot tour booker guy in the band? Sure I'll give you and 4 bands that suck exponentially worse then your band does a $800 guarantee....but then you will honestly have to give me about a week's worth hard labor around my house to break even with the show."
Haha they are just wrong because this culture is fading. This work hard,do right by the people, for the people shit is gone.Its take,take,take,suck,suck,suck that gets you onto the fat shows into the fat cash and away from the drudgery of having to learn the ropes. Most kids reading this are wondering what rope I am referring to.. then again someone stopped collecting dues a few years back because lately its been all hype machines, no substance bullshit that takes the cake in the popularity contest that hardcore has become these days.
I started doing shows by physically looking at the liner notes of tapes and records and later CDs and handwriting the bands letters and mailing them using the united states postal service. I spell this out because even the best have resorted to getting on myspace or a message board and been like- "Yo my band needs a show on this date,someone make it happen". I know later in life we've resorted to that for something insanely last minute but that was the exception not the rule and we never received a show out of it. Yet there are bands that exist solely by booking via myspace or the boards. Its sickening. I didn't even have the tour science down for a few years. It was kickin it with Mike Hood at his house almost 10 years ago that I got the tour booking 101. I never really think about it but the Hoods were a touring machine. Years before other motherfuckers got on the tour wagons and had people booking for them this lil dude had his band out east all the time and everywhere in between. My man had contacts in Wyoming. You gotta have scoured the earth putting in work to get that hook up going. My man Keith from Wyoming is in one of the hardest sickest metal bands DeadSpeak from cheyenne,wy / ft.collins,co and I never would have met such a stand up sick fucker if it wasn't for Mike Hood.
Anyway, back to what I was getting at.From writing letters in the middle of the 90s to some of the greats to being on a US tour less then a week after 19 was a blessing that has absolutely changed me forever. That wanderlust, the desire to conquer and achieve was finally fulfilled. Sure promoting at home was fun but man touring and booking tours that was the next level for me. Sincerely gave me a direction when my feet were unsure and my life was headed down the road to hell. I got through the 101 class of tour booking that Mike gave me and I was on my way. On top of Mike helping me out, the time spent on that summer tour with Dysphoria really got me in the seat to do it.
Chris Spear is one of the great unsung heroes of my life. Dude seriously is probably one of the most giving dudes I've ever encountered. I think he has gone out of his way for me and others more then most. Aside from being a maniac drummer, insane workhorse, master navigator/driver he was one of the most organized and connected dudes for being in a realitively unknown band.He truly booked his way through everything. Got contacts from everyone, taught me the idea of asking other bands and later looking on the internet for tours and where people play. He had his finger on the networking skills and setup and some of the ideals to make touring a possibility before the internet was widely used and before it was so common to have someone book a tour for a band. Until the internet, alot of bands did their own work, got all their own shows and it wasn't until 98/99/2000 dudes outside of bigger near metal acts and the older NYHC bands had tour agents. These upper layer bands been in the game long enough to get all the ducks in a row and have enough years of experience, fans and people behind them to not make the same mistakes of the last decade.
I am derailing again but it bums me out to work some metal show at the church with 5 piece of shit metal bands posing as metalcore when they have sponsors, paid for vans/trailers with their parents money and label support and they are 19 and never did anything on their own so they respect nothing. The same shit rubs me wrong when I hear about these bands that are always on the move to suck this bands dick or that bands dick just to get "hooked up" at certain shows or areas. Fuck that. If your band is good it don't matter, or rather it shouldn't matter if a bunch of herbs in a band think you dudes are cool. Alas things have fallen away from better days.
So from the get go I had two close friends who were able to school me into a booking machine. Our first tour was booked for less then 6 months after we played our first show, which unlike today was a much harder feat. Unlike today where there would be droves of kids just based on internet dickeating we were going into these scenes blind and brand new except for where we knew 5 or so people, then we would have at least that there watching. Our first tour was done in a stolen van (gotta love the statute of limitations!) Shady paperwork, bullet holes in the body that had to be filled with that nasty sticky foam that never gets off your hands and graffiti we removed with paint thinner. Some new tires and we were out and on the way to California. We all chipped in X amount of $ to get us to whatever tour we did. We would start that as band fund,gas fund/the holy shit fund. We made it to Cali in 2 days or so. Gas was about $20 bucks for a whole tank and we didn't have a trailer so it was very cool. Stole gas alot actually in those days, later on following tours we would tally the tanks stolen with marker on the roof of the van so we knew who was in the lead.
Everything to this day but gas is really still up for grabs when it comes to touring. I saw Pride Kills rip a meter out of the ground and I know the last Punishment tour we were baffled after all the hard work the fellas had done in the Bay Area that they came up with a whopping $3 bucks for their efforts. Its the kind of senseless theft that no one is hurt by it. Do we really need 5 gallons of that blue shit for the windows.. no but it was cool to throw out into the highway while driving? To this day touring with Shattered Realm I am getting older and still amused about the gas stations where dudes will walk in and out of the place with cases of beer, ice for the beer and then more beer or something else ridiculous. We stole a cheese sandwich grill that plugs into the lighter only to find out it fucking sucks. But it was a worthy adventure for sure. Haha.
Gotta love the beauty of tour economics. Sure you get $10 a day to get your food and such but really who needs $10 when the hustle game is always in full effect. I've been lucky to be with both masters of the art and complete dummies who don't know how to talk when caught. Its a win/lose situation but fun nonetheless.....
Back to it. We get to California and gas is like 2 something and our minds are blown. I was used to paying in silver change to get around the city most days and maybe dropping a twenty when I made some loot and being cool for a minute. This shit was insane. I laugh now thinking about that because this is the year where everyone is going to get fucked on the gas prices. No more $75 a show for the first time touring band. Whats that really get you? 2 tanks or less if you're running AC like a dumb ass and full to the brim with a trailer and shit.. These newer bands are going to have to get real and get their asses moving in piece meal. Work harder to get their name out, make sure that their merch is on point and that they've got more then what we always toured with to make any kind of money to sustain a tour. Granted these aren't the throwaway kids from the blocks no one is proud to be from, but I think even most parents won't fund a whole tour.. will they? If so send me an email so you can arrange adoption procedures for 4 of us from SR and we will make this happen all day. I think we toured the best with a decent van, good merch for us (more then 1 shirt and actually having our Cds) and the tour ended with the van on fire, us dropping off the rest of the Ringworm tour and EVR still wanting $1,300 for merch and owing Thorp like $800 for CDs.
I reminisce and then compare to today and I can't see these kids doing what we did. I got venue names and figured things out. I got venue addresses and then drove around til we found the places if we didn't get lucky having directions or the kids number for the show. A tour or two later I was all juiced up on the hotmail address and logged crazy time in at the local library getting tour shit together, getting directions from mapquest and trying to do as much of the pretour work as possible. God bless Chris Spear again for building me my first comp in 02 or I would probably still be at the library doing this shit right now!!!!
I could summarize this and say that there is going to be alot of bands with sore egos and empty pockets in this year to come. The hardcore gang bang is coming to a close, your band won't always be able to get on tours because you blew 3 dudes from that band when they came to your town. Touring without a legit name or at least an interest is going to go away. This pond is filling up too fast and this summer you will see a thousand bands out on tour that no one has ever heard of trying to make their way. You'll see places like Kansas having shows with 8 bands 7 of them touring and even though its a packed house the bands that are used to getting 250 will have to suck it up and deal with 80 beans because their contemporaries are out on the prowl too. I wouldn't be surprised by if This Is Hardcore all this "we love each other", "every band is amazing", "we love all of our "bros" who are rocking out on tour" is over. The reality that the market will be flooded, this easy cash in get your name out on myspace generation is going to have to learn hard work all over again.It might be a good thing as it will weed out the less industrious but could be terrible to the bands who are just broke dudes trying to get things moving. Then again its always been the broke niggas that are never remembered, while the bands around them with the pockets lined with cash get to the next level and eat off this shit.
This day and age the upper crust of the core is full of bands that have been on top for ages and are in no danger of falling the way that the surge of bands like V.O.D, Earth Crisis did in the end of the 90's when they got too big and tried to leave the core for the world of metal which just spit them right back into our hands a few years later.
The middle layer that takes up the meat of the pie is the Bridge 9,DeathWish brand name bands and their counterparts. They're the ones that are actively pushing this thing we love so much and we've gotta give them their due as some of these bands are really hauling ass, creating thoughtful music again and pushing the boundaries for their generation. Of course for every Blacklisted/Have Heart/Ceremony is the hordes of copy cat bands that are truly mucking the system up. I believe in a fine system of bands going from demos to eps to Lps to trying to be a band that tours consistently. I also agree a band is entitled to anything that they can get if they're working hard for it. Seems that a few years ago after we wrenched hardcore's corpse away from the labels like Victory,TrustKill and Rev and back into the kids hands there is always the band wagon instant internet sensation that immediately becomes known, the popular then played out in less then 2 years. In fact most bands at this level follow along this cycle. Its what is really killing the core I think. Dudes aren't sticking around in bands long enough to make the vital changes to the game, dudes aren't even stayin in the bands that are supposed to drive this machine more then 2 years. Guns Up, Righteous Jams all blew up and then blew up if you know what I mean. From everyones favorite heros to booom dead. It sucks and it leaves a void where a half dozen bands with less going on but the ability and want to keep moving will get them in the game just a little longer. We have so many scrap bands, so many weak ass bands that are just filling a void. They aren't saying anything and we pay them mind because they are there. Its going to end this summer though for this group of bands as the game is getting too tight. The bands working to the top are still going to work but there is going to be a pinch in the finances because of gas prices and the over saturation of the smaller bands, the unprofessionalism of the new promoters to just book whatever comes through instead of filtering out the bands that are going to draw from the bands that should have waited til they went on tour for the first time with just a $5 shirt and a 7". I will get to those bands in a sec. Last year there was a phenomena of bands merging across the country from the end of June to the end of July for Sound And Fury. It was rad to see everyone race to California for such an awesome fest like something out of Cannonball Run but the way back things were getting hairy as the bands who needed to get back east were running into every package that was also doing that and the bands that didn't make either fest and are just heading to the west then. It created "mini fests" all over the country. Not bad for the small town scenes who get lucky in the summer with shows but starved in the winter but economically unsound for the band that gets paid about $200-300 a night to play for $125 or so because there is 8 bands on a bill instead of four. The days of driving long are still there because hardcore hasn't been able to get as big as metal yet to be 4 to 6 hours between shows. Alot of US touring is still 8 to 12 hours and those extra hundreds of miles are going to effect the bands that are busting their balls to hit both fests the hardest. Remember that a good small town show may do 100 to 200 at the very most. 200x10 is only 2000. Rent is sometimes cheaper in the small towns but not always and sound still costs too. So does promotion and water. Right now we're looking at a hypothetical $2000 to split between 8 touring bands in the middle of a smaller state not always known for hardcore as well as the cost of the show to put on. $500 or so to the show for the costs just to put it on leaves $1500 or just under 200 per band. Remember thats the very best scenario and often bands were getting more like $100 to headline an 8 band bill with 95 kids. That's the hypothetical end, but the realistic end is the bands that would have made $300 playing could have sold $800 or so will only do $200 or $300 in merch because of the merch competion... 2008 Merch Wars... haha. It sucks but its truth. Then we will see these circlejerking ass kissing bands fight tooth and nail for $100 extra a night and destroy the vibe they've been fronting on the past few years.
Thankfully there is an awesome underground amongst the underground these days of bands in basements bringin some of the best ideals of what made hardcore for me so fucking cool. I can say with ease all the bands I been in and toured with were way more metal then hardcore sounding but we tried our best to balance it with "sound" ethics and good D.I.Y principles. Anyways...These bands get mentioned but never in the same way as the middle or meat of the pie do. Their labels are small, the ideas are smaller and more simple and they really have made the bottom end of the core enjoyable because everything is aligned somewhat perfectly. Their bands are dirtier, they steal more often, hate the cops with a passion,they are either a drunk mess or hard as nails straight edge and their shows are in some of the smallest places known to man. Its a smaller piece and such but there is a beauty to it that if only things were perfect or "back like before" as an old retard like myself would say we could really have something great on our hands.
The scope of this rant is obviously not complete. Its 230am or more and I am back from my 2nd European tour, working on This Is Hardcore bands and I really can't tell you how many bands just really aren't worth the time and frustration. Drama online, gay "images", stupid uncool attitudes towards other bands really just make me want to put dunce caps on alot of these newer bands and show them how to handle shit properly. I really wish things were easier for some bands and I also think more bands should have more to do with the goings on of their tours because if it all falls down how are they ever going to stay afloat on their own? I haven't toured the states since 05. Longest US tour draught in my life. I caused to much havoc and nearly going to jail every night was something I can laugh at now but really be thankful for then. Can my band tour again? We shall see. Its something we are pondering. Do we try and run with the young bulls and show them lil niggas how the big boys do it? Man style, peeing standin up and all that... I want to see the country again, look at the different scenes see if they've changed. Almost 10 years of touring and being in a diffrent town every night makes me think of how much has changed for the better, for the worse. How many friends are out of the core already,how many friends are in jail or dead and won't be needing that guest list spot when we come through their town. It sucks and its real and a part of sitting in something long enough to live,love and breath it. I wish everyone getting their tour season hats on the best of luck. Come see me in September when it's over and I feel like Nostradamus of hardcore and we will talk 09 touring logistics..
take care.

THIS IS HARDCORE... To Me..

2007-12-28T02:14:00.000-08:00

There was a time in every scene big and small, old and new where things have begun to deviate from our folk tradition and culture into something that has led the world we live in to feel dirty or wrong in some ways. I hope to do my little part and bring back the aspect of the dirty word “unity”. That’s right, just like my old friend Rick Ta Life, I feel like there is a sense of division amongst bands, kids and our world is not sitting properly aligned the way it used to. I’ve always tried my best to look at someone at a show as an equal important part of the hardcore world. I’ve always tried to see my fellow bands on tour as another piece in this old puzzle. Whether or not it was the stuff I was into, I couldn’t argue or not relate to these guys who were miles from home, dirty, sweating and tired but loving every second of it the way that I did.

I type these words thinking about my first show at Gilman Street. Summer of ’99 Comin’ Correct, Dysphoria, All Bets Off with if my memory serves me Kill The Man Who Questions and Pg. 99 as well as Sworn Vengeance jumping up for songs?? Either way here I am across the country for the first time in my life staring in the eyes of guys from my home city who’ve I never had a real conversation with but being there at that moment we felt more inclined to speak then ever before. This is despite being from the same hometown, being at the same shows and why? Because I was the jerk who started silly shit at shows, got shows shut down and was a little prick and these guys were some of the most thought provoking, sensible guys in the core. I still feel and hold Mike Mckee to that level of quality. Years later and I can talk to him as an old friend because we had that moment where we forgot the nonsense that kept us from communicating at home and really just kicked it out front of Gilman Street.
I bring this memory up and its relevance to what I am trying to say about hardcore now by pointing out that I can’t think of how many shows I’ve played, booked, been to where the connection was so weak. Where the bands didn’t even watch other, where you didn’t even know whom to pay because the band shuffled in and just “did their thing”. We’re all in this thing together, whether you like to dive with your cut off shirts and shirts and think I am wigger for being in a gang and ninjakickin people when I like a song. We all took our time and money and place ourselves in the same room. Does this mean that I want everyone to start a fucking circle jerk? No, I am just saying the connection to the core is so vastly different for so many people over the stretch of the past few years that I don’t see as many bands kickin’ it unless they were already friends, or going out of their way because they know what its like to be in a band too. At This Is Hardcore I watched John Joseph (BloodClot) and Mike Score (All Out War) stand and watch the guys in Have Heart tear the place apart and then go into the back room and tell Agnostic Front about it. I saw two Philadelphia bands that never played together before close out one of the best shows, let alone weekends I’ve ever been to. I can’t tell you how great I feel about the core when I witness the dudes from RingWorm watching ColdWorld or Righteous Jams.
It reminds of the things I mentioned above. Regardless of what you wear, where you’re from or what you’re doing in your own life when you walk through the doors for a show, as a band, as a kid or the promoter the floor is level. We’re all fuckin here, we all chose this shit to ruin our eardrums and get our aggressions out. This is my motivation for another This Is Hardcore Fest. More then ever I watch as bands categorically rise with the trends and alienate one or more crowds as their success blossoms, as one crowd moves from one band, they join another band’s bandwagon. I’ve grown tired of reading the message boards with the public praise for the smallest of bands from the shittiest scenes that never put out more then a few good songs get treated like the next Hardcore Jesus.
Our world as a whole has grown larger and yet so smaller with the availability and access the internet gives us to old music that we all find our mp3 collections growing at such a rapid rate that the strength of the music, the emotional excitement of a “find” becomes more and more necessary to feed the habit and the overall impact these bands are making is weakened altogether. Sure more people are noticing more smaller lesser known bands but in a week they will have gone onto something else. Welcome to the ADHD generation as they say… Or it could be that since we’re just experiencing these bands over the Internet through a computer that the feeling of being there at that moment will never come to you. So you may be excited as hell about the addition of Starkweather’s The CrossBearer but soon after you’ve posted on every board about the greatness of the band you realize there is no time machine, that moment on that cd was then and will not be now you have to move on to the next great thing or something that someone mentioned in regards to that band. We’re growing in our knowledge of these bands but our experiences are becoming more akin to the need/greed instead of the pleasing revelation of showing up to a show to see a new band. Can’t do that, can’t watch a band you don’t know or possibly didn’t like their myspace tunes. Instead you’ll sit at home gripe about the downfall of hardcore and download hundreds of songs in a night to truly only feel the impact of a handful of songs.
So many great bands are OUT NOW. They’re screaming, sweating and bleeding for you and you’re minds have grown closed in your ability to have immediate knowledge of most things past and near present. Fuck even “future” is achievable with the invention of “leaked” CDs. The concept of going to see 5 bands and watching all 5 is an antique model for a world that is no longer around. These kids know what they want and know it so well that they’re programmed to rarely check something in person out, which is ironically so contradictive of their online life. And when we get down to it, not everyone goes to shows every single day so the argument that I am making is that the average hardcore kid spends more time online then at shows per week, thus creating the deviation from the old way of things which was to “check bands out live”. People are influenced and pay too much lip service to what they read online and never make a true evaluation for themselves in person. I’ve found out how many times a band’s myspace song or EP sucks only to fall in love with the band live. I’ve tried many a time to really enjoy Modern Life Is War records and it just falls on deaf ears to me but live they are so engaging and alive that I can’t help but enjoy them. Had I left my first judgment on their CD material, as the end all be all of what I think of them I would never realize how much I enjoy their band live. I am sure as people will read this that they will argue and make exceptions and excuses for themselves but the truth hurts and everyone always try to argue their way out of a bum rap.
The world of ours is opening up and yet the minds that drive it are closing on preconceived notions of their own good sense of judgment that I’ve proven to be maligned solely by Internet interactions with our world. This thing we do is alive. Its never something that can be with someone who’s never been to a show but downloaded everything from the bad brains to the new mongoloids in 6 months but went to 3 shows in that time. The power our world has over other music scenes is in the live show, its intensity, its collective agreement to accept the violent dancing and diving as “part of the show”. When we like a song we punch our friends, when we know a lyric we take the mic from the singer who wrote the song. These are not things someone would dare to do outside of our world. I know this is wishy washy idealistic stuff but god help me if I want to give kids one weekend of all of this greatness that has truly kept my life moving forward. Have them get sweaty and wish the band would play their favorite song so they can move. I want the kids from California to ask the kids from New Jersey where the best place to eat downtown is. I want the kids to see their favorite bands, spend their times rifling through record bins at the distros looking through for that LP they couldn’t find anywhere.
I want people to live this thing that we’ve come to spend our time, money and LOVE on. If I can get you people off of your asses, away from your computer screens (even you weirdo sidekick dudes that love to stand on the floor looking at it like you’re unimpressed by what’s going on around you) and have you make one life connection to this, one truly amazing moment that you will be able to relive in full detail 1,5 or 10 years from now it was worth it.
I am not a talented guy; I rely on the availability and the willingness of the bands to make the shows work. I am lucky that the current crop of hardcore bands have more heart then any I can recall in the past 15 years. They have more of a sense of togetherness and they’re all so god damn good live it hurts to not have a band on the bill that made an impact the last 2 years. It’s these guys that deserve it the most. They leave their lives, their aspirations aren’t to become our doctors and lawyers, they want to fill the back of a van with equipment and ride into the night heading to a town they’ve never been to and shred the place apart. They want to get on stage and have some kid from ½ way around the world take the mic sing the words and do a flip when he’s done. They’ve signed their souls away to make the world of ours continue to go around and if we can all really come together again for one more weekend and let go and just fucking enjoy ourselves the way it was truly meant to be it will all be worth it…
THIS IS HARDCORE 2008.

the World's Largest Daisy Chain

2007-12-04T21:16:00.000-08:00

Ever feel like the internet has led us astray? How many kids can you say really mean it when they talk about a band, a show or even wear a Tshirt these days?
I am tired of it all. This eternal fucking blow everyone so no one feels left out mentality has gotten some egos a bit too large, and everyone's feelings set on candyass. You couldn't happen to disagree or go out of your way by saying this band or that band sucks. You would have to think about the people behind the bands and think about the fact that it may or may not hurt your band, your zine, your shows, your rep. Fuck all that. I think being in Shattered Realm has protected me from having to be in that terrible circle jerk phenomena going on in the core right now. God bless being the scumbags because no one wants us to really like their band and no one needs us to talk up their band. I am tired of reading about how a band is backed, how this guys a good dude or how much they can't wait for so and so to come through? Its all in effort to help whatever you're doing out.. I used to have this shitty job as a porter at a bowling alley. Real proper, I even got to unclog toilets and watch as my manager/head mechanic would fish out tampons from the women's bathrooms on occasion. There he professed to me the meaning of life and the one thing that holds true is -" Consider the Source". Whenever I read that someone is making a post about another band or something I see who the poster is that is heralding his fellow man's efforts. 9 times out of 10 its a friend or a guy who has a financial interest in the popularity of the band rising. I guess it don't hurt to talk good about your friends but to lie to strangers time and time again out of sake of being popular or god heaven's NOT BE POPULAR!@!$! I don't know how these people get through their lives with such decisions. ha ha.
I book This Is Hardcore Fest and I do shows. I think I still haven't booked a band that I really didn't like. There were 2 or 3 bands the first year that I didn't have back the second and it was more out of them not impressing me or doing well that made the decision an easy one. It also helped that I can't duplicate 2006's lineup every year all over again so no one's feelings are hurt. I write all of this thinking about how many bands are out there now. How many people have risen to scene celebrity in just two year's time. How are some of these guys going to deal with the fact their band really isn't that good? Alot of these bands have potential in that as a whole the scene is doing well with good bands that aren't all exactly alike. But the numbers that are stacking up are showing me that there is an army of clones not unlike the Star Wars Prequels and its going to get ugly. How many Integrity/Ringworm clones can you name these days? How many bands with Pink tshirts were out on tour last year? The ripoffs and the gimmicks are going wild for now, but when we get down to brass tacks its going to go down to substance. Who is really saying anything? Who is making an impact.. Who is not up there on stage wasting up space and stealing 25 minutes of people's lives to walk through the motions? How many dudes truly believe in what they do, what they say, what they wear, who they support and how their actions effect everyone?
This world is so fragile, often like a house of cards. It don't take much for the whole thing to crumble down. The end of Floorpunch,Ten Yard Fight and In My Eyes gave way to the dark times of the rise to metalcore and the hype of A.N. Hardcore rose to defeat the evil Victory records to give birth to all that we would eventually hold in our hands now. The battle for popularity will begin. I've watched these bands grow and they all seem to play nice now but the pickings will start to slim and we will see who is really friend or foe.
Its pathetic to hear a guy give a blowjob to 25 dudes in 15 minutes on stage just so people get into his band. He could spend his time rationally coming from his heart, but truthfully we're watching a bunch of kids live their dream at any cost and sadly that entails accepting an amount of bullshit hollow plastic words with a band that will just go through the motions to say they lived the dream as they walk away from our world once their 15 minutes is up.

NJ's Hardest

2007-12-04T10:30:00.000-08:00

Last Friday we played a show in Kearny, NJ which is just a stone's throw from the pit of hell known as Newark.
There was a time 10 years ago where I spent at least 2 days of my week finding someone willing to drive to Newark and then actually getting up there just for the Thursday night shows at the Pipeline in lovely scenic Newark,NJ. Alot of cool bands that never made it out of obscurity played, alot of bands that have grown to infamy and others to comedy. The thing that kept bringing me back was the fact that it was an entire scene there every week. It didn't really matter who was really playing you could count on at least 75% of the bands from North all the way down the shore line being there. It made for awesome "jump up" sets and bands sharing gear and playing some stuff. There was an ambience that made you truthfully believe that the minute you stepped into the place anything can/would happen. There wasn't any of this "safe" areas in the mosh, it was one of those dark clubs where you could be standing there watching a band like Powerhouse from California and end up with a black eye from Rat Bones because the light hit you from the stage and your peripherals were blinded.
Yea yours truly learned early on to watch everyone and never assume you're safe. But that was just a piece of it. I heard the "New" fury record out front of the Pipeline in Joe None's hoopdie. I met so many dudes and got so many #s and addresses to mail (yes the postal service not the fuckin internet) dudes flyers and contact info. It was a great place to network and get your shit out there. The place was a shithole and a few times I'd made the walk to the club from the train I truly felt blessed to get there in one piece. I met some guys that I am still very close to today, I've met guys that sucked in 97 and the years of drugs and boozing didn't make anything better.
So we show up to this hall in the middle of a block and I instantly start seeing old faces. By the time the first band had gone on I'd run into 20 or more people I can't think of the last time I've seen them. Homicidal played first and really tore it the fuck up. They've got Mike and George"Puda" from Bulldoze, Tomoki (the asian sensation), McG and Dimi (how many bands has this dude hasn't been in?) Very aggressive hard band with nods to the old bands of their members while having an almost thrash influence subtlely in there to boot. Their first song a maniac runs and tackles the stand up sound board and then runs and boots (with a Timberland of course) half the crowd. God I miss those berzerkers.. All in all a "fat" set from a band that needs to get out some more.

We played next and I was psyched for once. Usually we're not using our gear, getting there was a pain in the ass or there is about 134235 things going on aside from us just getting up there to shred. This being what is we haven't played early on a bill in about a year and I miss that need to set the place off. I think in our 25 minutes or so we did just that. I really think that I stay in Shattered Realm sometimes because we have the same ideas about what a good set duration is. Why play 40 minutes when you're not headlining and the place isn't moving to anything you throw out there. Sure there are places in Europe where the mosh is just not happening but that is diffrent then in your home turf and the songs keep going over like a 50 cent track at a white power rally.
We were really psyched on the mention of a Bulldoze set happening later. I remember George needing to borrow our bass again for it and thinking if Chris would show so it would go down. I guess they ended up getting Steve to rock out to an Ipod and learn the stuff. That was just like it was years ago, if you didn't have all your dudes but you could manage with a diffrent guy for a few songs fuck it... it wasn't the songs as much as it was your friends in the room and the feel of the night. By the time Bulldoze got on things had calmed down a notch and I was hoping that it would get crazy again so For The Love Of... would get a proper response. These North Jersey shows go late so the bar makes theirs and everyone pretty much goes from the bar to the bands and back, sometimes a trip or two during the set. By the later bands the berzerker mosh makes way for the guy who think his 35 year old body can move like it did when he was in his early 20s. Always rad to see.
Either way Damien and I had posted up near the sound guy with our asses on the table so we could watch the Bulldoze chaos without having to be in guard the whole time. I guess I've got to the point where I am not going to go and run around and kick and punch everyone for every band. Its not a shamed position but one I wouldn't assume I'd take on this early into my adulthood. I've seen Bulldoze then, I seen then when Kev first got out of jail, and we've played with them. I love the band but didn't need to lash out my aggression during their band. Sometimes there is something in being the voyeur. For us we were laughing already at the few moshers during NJBL's set. Just a bunch of weirdo mosh styles that conflicted making for awesome comedic relief for us. Bulldoze went on and Joe and Tara were standing with us. They were really tight for the jump up set and things were hectic. Enter the long hair berzerker mosh, he was really something. Absolutely fearless of contact with others and injury to himself, he was a true warrior of the mosh. By the end of their set I'd grabbed the mic and danced a bit but with the amount of drunken mosh dudes that were more like moshers then dancers I didn't want to be "that guy" to knock one of them out over mosh beef. I knew they didn't know any better and I figured someone would school them but I didn't have to be me for once. All in all an awesome set and the energy was back and then some.
For The Love Of... what can be said about a truly overlooked innovator in the realm of metalcore. So clean and vicious its an understatement to say that they really stepped out of the game at a time where had they held on they would have been in the ranks of Shadows Fall, God Forbid and later Killswitch Engage. I can't think of it but I know there was more then a few shows with most of those bands together on it in NJ and For The Love Of... coming out with the best response. People never seem to remember the guys who did the work in the trenches. FTLO would play crazy sets with the wildest other bands and it was always worth it. They would bring an anvil onto the stage and strike it with a sledge hammer. Insanity then, and if it was ever done again I imagine these tight pants, bad hair and no idea what metal or hardcore is kids would shit themselves. Either way they got up and despite it being late and some of the crowd vanishing to the bar they were really as tight as they've ever been. Some bands just don't lose and I was very happy we stayed to watch them. Alot of mosh shennigans and what not, really the worst of what happens when people get drunk and start to mosh after midnight, or guys who find themselves to be bigger physically forget that there are things like gravity and physics in play when it comes to the mosh. Oh well. I had a good chuckle a bunch of older guys who made their qualms with the scene back running around moshing living out their glory days. I imagine they felt on top of the world and back in their element. I wonder if they realized how far the world has moved on without them? It always hits me when see people like that if they've ever understand how inconspicuous their time in hardcore was and how silly their words were when they decided to walk away sounded to everyone else?
In the end I was happy to play a show that felt like I was a teenager again. I was really happy to see old friends and enjoy the parallel universe that was that night. It felt like someone opened a portal between 97 and 07 just for a few hours. There was alot of the same characters from both worlds and everyone looks older but for that one night at least everyone acted more like themselves before they got too cool for school.
Thanks to everyone who came out, participated and made the night worth it to be there.

2007-11-29T15:43:00.000-08:00

When was the last time you had a reason to cry? I could swim in a river of tears if I was strong enough to let them go. My good friend and more then part time mentor speaks often of crying as if it was a body function so regular as eating or using the bathroom. I am not in tune with myself well enough to allow an emotion or two to be so physically present unless its selfish or foolish behavior like rage or anger. It’s much easier to harm someone or break something or say something loud or hurtful then it is to relax and allow the emotions swelling within to manifest in tears. I caught myself a few times today losing my cool and tears began to well up. It was right in front of Jake, who was my best friend for the kind years of 11 and 12. He knew me well and it feels good to be close in relation to one another for how much distance has come between us in the last 13 odd years. I am unable to give in or man up as the Man would say and just let go, yet I am devastated by the rational the hardest dude from my hood died because a punk couldn’t beat him in a fair one. Over the course of the past 20 or so years not many people could ever beat Ogre. He was the kind of guy who lived in rage and violence. Some scream loud and walk proud of not giving a fuck about jail but he just lived it without ever having to mention it. I can say that he is one of the first people to give me the strength to fight and lose. Lose with the notion that in fighting you’ve proved your worth. It’s a simple concept lost to the era of the drive by, the gang initiation and the thug mentality. “Respect through Fear” as they say. He was not a saint by his actions but I will say that his sense of right and wrong were aligned to what and who was closest to him. Outsiders got nothing more then respect he wanted in return. Not a bitch by any means, hardly a bully and the kind of guy who was fearless in the face of an asswhooping if it meant at the end of the day his point got across to the guy on the other end. 32 years old, shot dead a block from where we once lived. In fact we didn’t make the best impression when we moved to our first real house on the “other” Brill Street, as we’re now known to say from time to time. The local thugs were white kids known as GBC or Get Blunted Crew. Not the toughest and actually in hindsight never more then wiggers who ran from the real fights down the street from Red Brick. Either way after an altercation that led to our window getting broke and a fist fight with the guys in the street, a congregation of Kensington and Frankford cousins stormed into the small corridor blocks looking for vengeance. I remember being told to stay inside and could hear the beatings taking place across the street in the cemetery. As legend and time holds it, the last to get the beating was one of the Grossman twins. Known for their mouth and bravado more for their quick hands and solid street cred, Brian Grossman tried stabbing Ogre with a screwdriver in the initial sweep of the 5 x 5 blocks we called home. Making the trip from our house to his house one night he caught up with Brian and leveled him with a single shot. Brian fell to his knees and his head and neck tilted back. Its been said that the sudden rush of blood in his mouth would have choked him to death if he hadn’t been knocked onto his side by a friend. Rash and severe at times, but never without righteousness it felt good to know there was someone who could come down and be there for you when you were in over your head. To think that I stood over him today and say the hardest man from Frankford lying dead today is crushing my heart. One of my first “champions”, the kind of guy who inspired me to be more then what I was is dead for doing the right thing. I could waste time and talk of useless notions such as revenge and how that guy should be found and get the chair, but really what is worth fighting for is already gone. Depleted.
As a lifelong friend spoke at the eulogy today, we never had anything but each other and to be without someone like Ogre is to know there is one less person by your side. As I grew to adulthood and began my own legacy I never felt the need to call on him but I know that he would have been there for any of it. In fact the last we spoke he was the one telling me about how the worst part is the wait between being out on bail and being told whether you’re doing time or you’re out Scott free. There are so many things that I think of now that in my reminiscence of our times can be attributed to him that I want to cry. I want to feel the physical relief of that sorrow knowing someone who’s life impacted yours so greatly is no longer alive because his deeds were struck down by a weaker man. I think of my old excuse for not showing sorrow as “Thugs Don’t Cry” mimicking the over the top B movie at Blockbuster that Samantha would never want to rent. I want to be pitiful and say these words are my tears. I am crying to the world in my grief and hopefully venting this anguish. I walked down Frankford Ave and up the cemetery hill yesterday looking for where he was struck down. I couldn’t find the spot. Later I was told it was a block away from our old house. I wanted to throw up. As I mentioned earlier we had issues there and in fact it got to the point where once my mom found a better spot out of the hood we moved. That was the closure of one chapter and the beginning of the end of my Frankford days. He got us through that rough patch between the apartment on Griscom that was our salvation from the Fonze to the first real house we lived in. It seems as though tragedy strikes all of history’s greatest heroes, Ogre was on his path towards getting a spot out of the hood and getting wifed up with the mother of his children. This tale has no wisdom or lesson to be taught. His actions spoke for him time and time again and I will not relegate this tragedy to the pitfalls of living in a shot ass neighborhood. This was the new way of life, the reason this city and this hood has gone to hell. Damien and I laughed the other day at Mike’s lyric “I’m from the era of the One on One, punching niggas for fun”. Then I think of Ogre being shot dead for being of the caliber of dude to stand up for the small and “shield the weak” as Darius would say.

Mike old buddy, I guess I’m from that era too, and if it wasn’t for my man Ogre I never would have lived past it.

May He Finally Be Granted Peace...and his Killer be shown True Justice.

David Howarth, 32, of Penn Street near Dyre, was found shot once in the chest on Brill Street near Frankford Avenue in the Northeast shortly after 4:30 a.m. yesterday. He was pronounced dead at Frankford-Torresdale Hospital at 5:30 a.m. Detectives were interviewing a possible suspect, but no charges had been filed, said Homicide Sgt. Ron McClane.

I guess I am a lifer now

2007-11-25T10:44:00.001-08:00

http://www.lifersmontreal.com/

I got the chance to have a full out interview for my boy Tremblay's serious blog/zine. Definitely the more definitive interview with me. Totally my style too the way the questions were long enough that I could bounce around and make nonsense out of a well placed question..
Check it out..

The Man Behind The Curtain

2007-11-10T12:32:00.000-08:00

I would like to disclose the truth behind JOEHARDCORE.NET. I figure I will do this before all the legal litigation happens when I start being sponsored and making 1000’s a month with all the banner ads that will soon cloud over these humble words.

Joel “JUICE” from Clenched Fist is the guy who registered the URL for me. He has always pushed me in a positive way towards something like this. He drew a cover that I will be putting up here for my failed attempt at a zine in 02. He is a truly supportive, encouraging friend and in thinking about this site and how it just popped up out of an email I got from him, I would like to take the time to micro analyze our friendship and its correlation to the bigger picture that is hardcore.

It was 2000 and I received a CD with a band Clenched Fist from Memphis, TN on it. Later on and into 2001 I was booking Punishment’s first US tour. Via Mike Hood I got Juice’s contact and the game began. Sure enough we had a show and we were truly appreciative of it. Then it was a lot harder to get shows period unless you were booked by an agent, there wasn’t myspace and email was checked at the free library via hotmail addresses. Not every band and his mother decided to go out and tour the states (like it is today). The fact we could hook up with a band of similar interest in a place as far different and removed as Memphis and Philadelphia just reveals the power of hardcore (to nerds like myself) the day of the show we were told to go to his apt and the door would be open. Lets think about that for a minute.Book a band and tell them they can go to your house before you get there. It speaks volumes to the character of my friend. It wasn’t too long before he showed and we were hitting it off like we had grown up together. There were varying differences, my love of metallic bands like Dmize and yet amazing shared interests ala the few hardcore videos that made headbangers ball and such.
So we go to play the show and there are only a handful of kids (maybe 20 at most) that are all friends with Clenched Fist at this huge venue. Now typically that would put people in a shitty mood but we were all uplifted by the spark of a new friendship that we didn’t even care or take notice toit. We played first and it was awesome, great sound anda great time. Clenched Fist took the stage and the entire place (all 20 or so of us) was going off. There is something special about a band playing on its home turf. Sooner or later they had run out of songs and started doing covers. At this point Punishment began our usual antics that included at that time naked moshing. Totally unexpected to these kids from Tennessee but that was most of the gag. With clothes back on a few of our guys got on stage and more cover songs were played. This is so not typical of how things were or are. If there is no one at a show its usually a bust. If there are 2 bands playing it’s usually cut and dry sets and then everyone goes their separate ways. The show was quite long and so much fun that it ranks up in the top 10 shows I ever played or was at. Back to Joel’s house where we were paid by the kids and Joel out of pocket just as a token of friendship. I can’t tell you how much that meant to be a band that no one cared being paid by the kids just so we can get to our next show. We had a lot of good talks and we knew we’d be seeing each other soon enough.

The next time we hung out was in St. Louis at the Creepy Crawl where for those of you who know Clenched Fist’s “Welcome To Memphis” cd know at the end there is a live track of Juice telling the crowd that if Joe Hardcore gets naked and goes from end of the club to the other end that they’ll do Madball. Sure enough, in front of St Louis and everyone else that’s just what I did. In fact at one point during the naked moshing I jumped on someone’s shoulders and there was a pic of it for a bit. Definitely great fun times with our new buddies.

Over the course of the next few years we only grew tighter, whether it was Clenched Fist coming to Philadelphia and living at my mom’s house or Punishment or SR stopping by Memphis and being treated to some of the best away from home cooking ever.

When we came to Memphis after Thanksgiving we were treated to a for real Thanksgiving meal prepared by Brookie and it was just awesome. Even back then we were always on Joel to try to pursue the tattoo thing as he is one of the best artists that I am friends with. He has some much talent it was such a waste that he was rocking a tie and working at a bank. The guy painted this awesome Santa Claus with all these tattoos and a spiked baseball bat on a sheet of plywood, and then cut it out, it was seriously just incredible. Like someone crossed Santa with Bluto from Popeye and everything.

The last Punishment tour with Blacklisted we had one of the greatest moments in touring wiffle ball competition ever. I think we were at the corner of his new house in Memphis for about 4 hours of serious middle of the intersection wiffle ball that would just not end.
The show that night was just awesome and afterwards I was introduced to Down South barbequing with a charcoal “smoker” that gets your coals nice and red hot before you start cooking on them. I can’t tell you how much I wanted one of those things.
The following year I was presented with a gift from Joel at a show in Chicago (SR’s last time there) It was a brand new charcoal smoker with my ugly face hand painted on there with a spatula in my hand and the words master griller like Merauder’s record.
That’s the kind of bond we had. After I tried to get them signed to Too Damn Hype where I worked (years before the smoker) I got them hooked up with Thorp and that’s how they got the Welcome To Memphis CD. That CD had so much lyrical power for me, I wonder just how a guy could write shit that hit me the way that did.

Funny enough, that JoeHardcore cartoon face wasn’t born from that but MET (too damn hype/chord) wanting to give me a label under TooDamnHype. He had Juice draw up a caricature face with my signature crooked hat, bad crooked teeth and slobber coming out of my mouth. So fucking funny. I really wish I had my old hard drive shit so I could post that picture. That alone just showcases his talents in being able to draw these awesome characters.

The bonding points for Joel and I go beyond our hardcore pursuits and principles and that’s where the deep connection was made. He and I both grew up with a mom who did all she could for our siblings and us. We both grew up on the have not side of things, in neighborhoods that were less then nice and more often blacker then white. We had a lot to talk about and so much to connect to it really amazes me that I met someone that is my age that grew up so much like I did who just happened to find not only the same music I did but is into so many of the same bands and principles and virtues of the core. Don’t get me wrong we have our bit of differences but they are minute and just something for us to pick on each other about.

Its just incredible to have a friend out there that truly understands not just what you’re into, but what you’re capable of, where you came from and what makes you who you are… I have always thought of hardcore as the great equalizer for those with an ax to grind, a story to tell or a past to work out through healthy doses of aggression but I never would have thought I would get a friend from Memphis who could finish my sentences and fully know some of the pains and bullshit that came from growing up the way that we did.

My friend Joel is still to this day not a tattooer, though I hope now with him in Denver he will explore that avenue. I really look forward to having something by him tattooed on me; in fact I plan to save space just for that eventual occasion. The only real question is whether it will be a PMC tattoo or something else.. maybe a Biohazard logo.

http://www.juicyjoel.com/

Ten Years Ago

2007-11-06T17:35:00.000-08:00

I thought about this some and realized 10 years ago we were all caught up in a band from New Jersey who just came out with a CD called "Time 2 Shine". I remember Bushy getting us a ride to the Pipeline in October of 97 for the record release of Time 2 Shine (yet we had the CD already, in fact we bought it in July off of Rick). Now people will go into detail to talk about the "beef" with Rick and E Town, but at that time it was just starting up. They opened with Shaydee, even though Rick was there the whole show with his minimart distro table. In fact that show in particular I can remember Rick having the sound guy play "Strength Through Unity" over the PA between bands on almost a constant loop. I am sure the band was already upset with Rick by that point because it wasn't much later when I heard about a riff between the two parties over Tshirt printing and what not. Before the internet, Rick used to be the guy who could get you pretty much anything from the smaller labels to the bands who weren't on a label. Case in Point- E Town Concrete, which Rick carried both their demos , the split 7" which was on his label (featuring Second To None on the Bside) and whatever shirts he had of theirs at the time. Which was really cool because even thought you could travel to see Rick every weekend, you might have a chance a shirt by a band that played alot less frequently or close to you. I only mailordered clothing from big labels like Victory and EVR at the time, so Rick was my go to guy for alot of my hardcore shirts.

Back to the Record/topic at hand. I can remember seeing E Town at Beaver College (now Arcadia University) with a ton of bands. Something happened onstage with the band internally there was a bit of a fracas on stage and that was about it. Aside from that time, I think I'd only seen them in Browns Mills and at the Top Of The Roc in Reading previously. It seemed like 97 was going to be E Town's year. First seeing them at the Superbowl of Hardcore at the StonePony in Asbury Park, NJ and thinking how much they'd improved since then, I really made an effort to travel out to a show if I saw E Town on it. I don't remember if it was their raw lyrics or the reaction from the crowd that they got at the time but something clicked with E Town and my group of friends and its funny that 10 years later I still can't help loving them. Time 2 Shine was really one of the better produced soon to be car ride staple of that time. I think we rocked it two times up and back on the way to the Vision " the Kids .." Record Release party. Thats just how it was. We were grimey kids who really didn't have much and most of the lyrical content wasn't wigger garbage to us, but anthems for our late teen angst. I never really heard a band say the kind of things I think aloud before....

Learn to live with pain and you won't complain.

That which doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger.

That which doesn't kill you, only makes you wanna kill.

Now I'm getting mine by taking yours, Time 2 Shine.

All my life I hated those who had more.

But now I'm getting mine by taking yours, Time 2 Shine.

Please excuse my fucked up attitude, but I don't give a fuck about you.

If that don't reach the dirty rough end of town youth in you, nothing else will.

I guess over time they got a bit bigger and as their band grew, their talents musically and lyrically became something that our lil bubble world of hardcore couldn't contain. For me they will always be a huge fuck you type of band worthy of our support. Sure I'd go see bands like Floorpunch or H20, Vision or Shelter.. But you could see look in the pretentious guys' faces when you wore an E Town shirt (if they were even clued in enough to know what it was).

Its kind of sad now that every douche bag over privileged hardcore kid cross references current hip hop lyrics & style into their own hodge podge subculture identity, never really knowing what it really means to be a part of an underground or thugged out or whatever else they're going for in their teen rebellion. Their love of E Town and bands like it have nothing to do with the primal connection that we had then.

I should really give a strong mention to all the mid to late 90's bands that tried and failed miserably to do what E Town did. I think the worst example was 7th Rail Crew from the New England area. There were plenty others out there, but 7th Rail Crew was possibly the worst example ever. At least there were crazy dudes and nasty brawls at E Town's local shows, I think I heard something like 7th Rail Crew was dispised everywhere and never really got a fanbase, though I swear to go they had to have played Sea Sea's in Moosic, PA more then half a dozen times.

Maybe I will set up some time and really explore this matter further and post my inquiries into the worst of the worst mid to late 90's rap wannabe core bands. That would take a monumental amount of effort, but nothing ventured-nothing gained.

Thanks to E Town Concrete, not just for Time 2 Shine or any of their other records, but for being there when I was 17 and needed to lash out and be angry and scream along to angry street anthems..

"Some get a little, and some get none, some catch a bad one" yo, that was my anthem.

17 long hard years of blood tears, nigga you were never there,

Nigga you would never care,

fuck the word cause the world fucked me,

You could take me outta' hard times, but you can't hard times outta' me.

Some Reviews For Ya'll

2007-11-06T17:18:00.000-08:00

Damnation A.D. ‘In This Life Or The Next’
Surprising as it was, the return of Damnation A.D. may not completely a bad idea at all. This is pure anger filtered through serious stacked guitars and screamed in rage and frustration. While so many bands are out there trying to persuade us to believe their emotions and lyrics are heartfelt, it takes but a few seconds as each song on In This Life Or The Next to hit before you’re instinctly aware of the sincerity of Damnation’s intentions. One of the bands I missed most from the 90’s is back and they made a hell of a record to re introduce themselves to the world. I was pleasantly surprised to see the rerecorded of The Hangedman and Rain As My Veil as well as Addiction, damn there are some good old songs on here. Interesting “upgrades” so to speak, but all in all I would take them doing some good old tracks so that way when they play live I am not forced to endure an entirely new set of songs from an old favorite like Damnation. Sure to get a few people who haven’t touched a record from Victory in some time listening and might even get some of these know it all whipper snappers who think they got this metal core thing figured out jumping around on the floor. Overall an intense display of aggression from the heavyweight champs of the sorrowfilled hateful hardcore.

Down To Nothing “The Most”
Today they’re standing as one of the only bands left from the beginning of this decade. They’ve been through all the worst ends of this shit and yet have managed to position themselves atop a crop of bands that are more gimmick then substance, more trend then standard. The Most is possibly the best record Revelation has put out in god only knows how many years. Down To Nothing has really outdone themselves on this one, topping my previous favorite release by them (Save It For The Birds/Thorp Records) Great recording, good mix of the fast and slow stuff with the right mixture of singing alongs to keep the whole place moving and involved. They have beefed up their sound and really come at our throats on this one, the production is phenomenal, in fact it’s the aspect of the disc that really pushed this over the top. Good song structures and strong vocals could be weakened with something less, instead this is top notch shit jumping out at you –keeping the cd jamming through the whole time- a perfect LP in under 25 minutes. I really can’t say anymore about this disc without being redundant, yet I will say this is in the running for CD of 2007.

Allegiance “Desperation”
Another great band that has managed to survive most of this decade unscathed and still belting out pure fucking hardcore. They don’t tour as much as a lot of the other bands but they still manage to keep up pace with the leaders of the pack. Desperation is an intense angry piece of the core, delivered fast and it hits hard as nails. I really dig the pace they set and the songs seem to fit well the way they were arranged on the disc, with most of the songs flying by. The title track is the big number on the disc and it hits like a ton of bricks even at 3 minutes long (a near mortal sin for by the numbers hardcore bands) Allegiance has delivered another awesome disc, its ashame they don’t tour more as there is a serious need for more bands rolling with the straight up delivery that these guys have the patent on.

Over The Last Few Days

2007-11-06T16:21:00.000-08:00

Reunion shows are really just a sad reminder that the more you dedicate yourself to hardcore the less time you will have to develop a "life" that consists of material and professional acquisitions that may make hard times a little easier. Thank the hardcore scene for either remembering how much work Robby Redcheeks put into hardcore or for their love of the "big Reunion" to get the job done at the end of the day. I was so happy to see all the kids and the bands that day, but I wonder how many felt like they were doing good for a family who was truly in need and how many were there for the bragging rights.

I gotta say that Floorpunch was just what this scene needed. So many people talk and talk and talk online (ha just like I'm doing now) and yet when a band gets on stage and give more damn songs in one show then any other time I can ever remember... kids are still standing around scratching their ass. Not to say the finger pointing, diving and front of the crowd wasn't in effect, but it was the middle mass of people standing around and wasting their energy on "pre-mosh" that really reminded that kids today are just "not as into" the moment as we were.

I am well aware of the sheep mentality and follow the leader principles that are constantly on display at every show almost anywhere, but fucking- FLOORPUNCH reunion and people in the middle of the room just standing around really proves that the generation now are either really a bunch of candyasses or we did something wrong here after all.
I can think of just how excited I would get each weekend for the next show and it often featured bands that I'd just seen the weekend before, let alone the excitement of a reunion show - man we would have "torn the roof of that shack" (words of Joey Demaio/Manowar)
I am happy the crowds came, but a little bummed that the energy wasn't there throughout the sets. The band performed rather lengthy sets to fulfill any fanboys wet dream, yet no matter what they played it wasn't enough. Kids will talk about how they were losing and it was the best show in so long, but honestly the contemporary bands on both shows got more of a workout out of the crowd.
I should bash some of the older guys for coming out of hiding to get the dust off and just fill in the cracks after about 2 or 3 songs but I'll leave them be, I am just happy to see old faces.

I think as far as Church benefit shows go- this despite its huge turnout and amazing lineup for me falls short of the Stoney Benefit show. I was there, but my head was elsewhere. It was hard to focus on anything but the minute task at hand. One of the few shows that I knew I was having a good time, but I didn't feel like I was then. I guess it takes standing in a room full of friends with the thought that if he was just here with us everything would have been that much better...

I am very happy that some of the stress will be relieved off of Robby's step dad as he is a good man and has his hands full as it is. I can only hope that their family finds some peace in what little the benefit show did for them. Money may remove financial stress, but the growing pains of being without a mother is something that we can't fix with 10 benefit shows. I am glad I can call Robby a friend and even happier that hardcore did something for him after all the years of him doing for the scene without thought of repayment.

The Beginning

2007-10-14T17:51:00.000-07:00

The beginning of this site will be the end of me trying to get a paper zine going. Years and years have gone by, the interviews done, the people who backed out an even the motivation to do one in the first place have all come and go. I do my share of half assed reviews and interviews for centerfuse.net and plan to keep doing so but this will be the home of much more. I spend enough damn time on this thing to at least match the efforts of my good friend Joel who got the url and consistently pushed me to do something like this. No promises, no teasing, I will have a bunch of stuff up here before the end of the week. Thanks.